My heart skipped a beat. I smiled, he looked and turned his head a kept walking. The first time i had seen my ex since we split. It has been 3 months, and about a week ago i was thinking how i had been lucky not to have ran into him. Well...now it has happend and i feel like shit.
You always think you are over your ex until you see them for the first time- then it hits you right in the gut. I feel like some one has beaten me to the ground and just kicked and kicked.
Our relationship was a futile one. Both had baggage. Both had insecurities. But he had a temper. He was really caring and loving, but all the make up hugs and kisses would never let me forget all the emotional and physical abuse. It took me two years to leave. I celebrated the next night with my girlfriends. I was free finally.
Now three months later, i miss him. I dont know if it is time that waters down all the pain and just makes you remember all the nice things and forget about all the shit. I dont know. I dont know why i feel so bad seeing him. I thought it wouldn't effect me. I guess you can never prepare yourself or establish ahead of time how you will feel or what you will do in situations like that.
I just hope next time i will be the one to not smile...to just turn and keep walking. Because, i know he doesn't deserve it..
