• Mamie said on Aug 16, 2008....

  i totally get this. I was thinking it  and there you said it yourself, why not eat before you go and then just have some veggies etc while there, it is not as if you are ceremoniously breaking bread...my people are stupid too, CW, and we also have a fam party tomorrow, but I am good and I am ready. Like you said: get centered, put on your happy face and give them something to talk about!!

  With some of my ignorant people, its still all about cancer, so I plan to say: what? Oh that? that is such old news! WHAT is new with YOU??? Talk ing  about themselves is something they are actually good at! good luck! M

• Lucytorial said on Aug 16, 2008....

  CW ~ If they ask why not come up with something insane to let them know enough is enough.  how about;

  "Ohh the toe thing, its quite funny actually. I thought I could tie a string to it, hammer a nail under the toe nail from one of Mr W's old collections and see if I couldn't get some attention, bed rest and you know get the damn thing amputated.  The diabetes? its all a lie, seriously I just want people to feel sorry for me, pander to my needs, see how stupid people behave, its rather nasty I know but all in good fun I assure you"

  Now whers the beer?  (hugs) relax CW I think everyone here understands what this is going to be like for you.

• woman said on Aug 16, 2008....

  I totally feel your concern CW. I HATE It when eveyone checks out my plate and feels more than free to comment or question every bite I take. And I have indeed resorted to eating before I go and then put tiny amounts of something on my plate when I am there. NO. I do NOT tell them I ate ahead of time. It is just too much to explain it all to everyone and sorry, but it's not really everyone's business, is it? As far as your toe, if you wear that wild blouse they may be distracted. If not, feel no obligation to discuss anything with anyone. And if you do, that's ok too. One more thing CW, it sometimes helps to know most people are totally occupied with their own issues, or avoiding them by jumping into yours. Just let it go. Let us know how it unfolds.

• CreativeWoman said on Aug 16, 2008....

  Mamie,
  I will put on my smile.  I've planned an early escape.  That will make it easier.  That's a good suggestion to turn the conversation back around on them.  :-)  Thank you. Good luck at your gathering too.
  
  Lucy,
  Thanks for being understanding.  :-)
  
  woman,
  You are right about it being no one's business what I eat.  I'm a big girl and responsible for myself.  I wonder what they would say if I asked something in return like, "Now will what's on your plate hurt your hemorrhoids?"  That's about as ridiculous as what they ask me.  I've got more class than that though.
  
  I've decided to wear a very wild print top tomorrow.  It's one of the cute little smock type tops that are so popular right now.  It's a size smaller so I know I will feel good wearing it.  I'm wearing some bold trendy gold colored jewelry with it. I won't be frumpy that's for sure.
  
  I'll keep you posted.
  
  CW

• woman said on Aug 17, 2008....

  I'll be waiting!

• Mamie said on Aug 18, 2008....

  hey CW: mine was easy- breezy- kissed all the haters right on the lips-easy. How was yours?

• CreativeWoman said on Aug 18, 2008....

  woman and Mamie,
  I lived through it and am glad it's over.  I did eat there and watched my carbs closely. That family has a very strange dynamic.  A sister of my father-in-law runs the whole thing like a drill sergeant and I paid close  attention to the faces of  other  women  "outsiders"  such as myself.  We all had the same look of  "get me out of here."  It was definitely an event of obligation and not one of fellowship.  I took several digs, but I managed to keep my tongue in check. I know I can be very sensitive.  That's something I need to work on.  Although, I found that I was more angry than hurt this time. 
  
  CW
  

• Mamie said on Aug 18, 2008....

  and I bet you had their tongues wagging just by looking smashing and happy! Haters can't stand that, ya know? There was a dj at our party and I danced the night away! I had so much fun!! I danced with my daughter and we said: one day we will look back and say 'remember the time we were at the grad party and all the haters watched us having such a good time'...and we laughed our heads off.
   
  Then when they got up and were doing the electric slide, daughter, niece and I danced our own dance off to the side but on the dance floor, which ended up being us doing some electric version of the macarena....very funny!
  My nephew was delighted by the surprise party and he is now a graduate of Pepperdine U! He will make his home full time in California, which is as far from the weirdos in our family as he can get and still be in continental usa! I voted yes to that idea and will try to spend some holidays out there with him...my niece is transferring colleges to join him in Cali....smart girl!

• CreativeWoman said on Aug 18, 2008....

  Mamie,
  Wow!  I can see why you are so proud of your nephew. 
  
  My problem is that I hate knowing the tongues are wagging about me regardless of what I do.   You rise above it much better than me.
  
  CW
  

• woman said on Aug 18, 2008....

  Glad you lived to tell the tale. Sorry you were obligated!

• CreativeWoman said on Aug 18, 2008....

  woman,
  Thanks.
  
  CW
  

• Mamie said on Aug 18, 2008....

  hey CW: the only way I got over it was that after carrying it on my back and in my heart for 10 years, I put it all on paper and burned the damn thing. Once it went up in smoke, I gently reminded myself that it could no longer exist unless I allowed it. Poof! You will get to the same point that I am at...and I am glad for it. Rock on soul sister! Trust me, no matter what you did or did not do, they are on the phone yakking about it right this minute!!

• BEprepared said on Aug 18, 2008....

  Thanks CW and Mamie,

  You have taught some of us a good lesson-that our families are not so weird.  Now we know this sort of "crap" goes on in many families.

  Also, this should be a big boost of confidence for both of you regarding how well you can handle these things.  Next time you won't even have to think about it.

                                                                             ---Jim---

• CreativeWoman said on Aug 18, 2008....

  Mamie,
  Burning it isn't a bad idea.  :-)  It's been a decade for me too.  I have grown as a person though and I know I will rise from the ashes one day.  Thank you for being so supportive.
  
  Jim,
  Do you really think so?  I almost deleted this post earlier today.  I thought perhaps it was a little too self indulgent and whining. 
  
  Mamie is the one with the best advice.  I'm more of her apprentice.  :-)  Thanks for your kind words.
  
  CW
  

• silverwhisper said on Aug 19, 2008....

  just so long as you don't go thinking, "o, i'll give them something to talk about!"--that just wouldn't be you, CW. :>
  
  ed

• CreativeWoman said on Aug 20, 2008....

  Ed,
  Not to worry, I was a lady all the way.  The leopard print top stayed in the closet, although it is very tasteful and appropriate for my age.  It wasn't right for that setting though.  I wore something colorful and trendy instead.  I won't give them ammunition to shoot me with.  :-)
  
  CW
  

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