We have been thus far been quite patient with your lack of energy and virve however the sporadic nature of your work of late has left us all feeling as though you have little passion or commitment for the team.
We don't just run a business here, we are about people, communication, its a community here not people in jobs wandering around farting in the wind, of which you seem to becoming quite adept at.
Tut tut Ed don't interupt me while I'm speaking to you. Your problem Ed is that you no longer come to the party, step up to the plate, we just can't have that. Everyone else has been suffering under an immense work load due to your inactivity and care, your presence and attendance has been sporadic and unjustifiably lacadasical.
We have always proferred ourselves should you have personal problems, there are many counselers here to help you however, I do not think this is personal unless you have been drinking again of which I thought I made myself very clear that it was not to be tolerated on the kind of level you have shown us previously.
At the end of the day Ed nothing you say will explain away the fact you have let the team down, simply been unable to muster any kind of creative explanation for your absence and lack of work ethic, unfounded arrogance to your duties, oh the list goes on and I have been inundated with many of your community members here with complaints a task I wish not to have to deal with as it is not my position to talk derogatively of anyone however my patience is stretched young man.
Please before you try a pathetic excuse pack your desk up, close your computer down, check out with security and DO NOT linger upon the work of others on your way out. We will provide you with an excellent termination package and remuneration. Please do not forget to take your stuffed trout, it's been an eyesore the day you bought it in. It also smells rather rotten.
Thank you Ed, you are excused.
Yes Ed, that means I wish for you to leave now, off you go.
