Being a person who loves to listen to other people, more than talking about myself, I found often that people really love to talk bad about other people behind their back. The people to whom they gave sweet faces and words in person.
My best friends love my direct personality, as I always tell the truth my opinion about my friends, bad or good. O..do I love them dearly...
My enemies hate my fucking sharp tongue, and I don't give a damn about it.
I told the truth to my friends as I expected that they do the same. Who will tell me that my hair new cut doesn't match my face, if my best friends don't do that?
However, back to my earlier period of professional life, I learnt that being direct was not always a good thing. Everything is about office politics, building networking, and investing influences. Hypocrite if I said before, tactical, if I say now.
Hell, how it used to torn me apart...but now...even though I still avoid to get involved in gossiping bad things about other people, I managed to keep my face straight when talking with a person I hate so much...
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iciabruxelles posted on Aug 16, 2006
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Comments
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GrapeKoolaid said on Aug 16, 2006....
I suppose it depends on what your objective is. Whether it is your goal to live your life with your values uncompromised, or sell your soul in search of material conquest. For most, I think the road lies somewhere in between. Everyone has masks. Who's to say your bluntness, or at least your particular style of straight-forwardness is not a mask? There are different ways of being direct, yes? It all depends on the intent, I think. -
iciabruxelles said on Aug 16, 2006....
What I think when I was being blunt, is only that I expected my best friend do the same to me. Tell the truth. No hidden agenda. Or, when I get verrrry angry, which of course I can not think too complicated, and just bursting out what comes to my mind first :D However, at this moment, if I see professional advantages, I will wear any mask my counterpart wants. And I call it business mask ;p [I hope it will give a good effect to my skin as a beauty mask do..:D] O, btw, I'm curious, could you tell me, what kind of bluntness that used as a mask? Maybe I wore it, but don't realize it. -
GrapeKoolaid said on Aug 16, 2006....
Sometimes we're blunt to be shocking, sometimes we're blunt to be hurtful. I think most of the times we're blunt to get the message across in the most direct manner possible, but sometimes we do things and not consider the consequences. As to your business mask, if it is in your objective to succeed, then by all means, wear it, paint it in gaudy colours, dress it up, do what you have to. It's a dog eat dog world, no? -
hunter_boyce_chandler said on Aug 16, 2006....
It has been my experience both in professional life and in personal endevours that the "Right Thing" is always the wrong thing to do. When your office mates tell you that you must change your personality tell them to kiss off. It is much easier to get another job that to regain self respect after having sold yourself out. Be what you are. If your present job doesnt allow it, go find one that will. Simple. -
iciabruxelles said on Aug 17, 2006....
GKA: mm yeah, that was exactly my intentions (which sometime I don't realize the consequences, yeah you are 105% correct..). Was that a mask? HBC: long time did not see updates in your blog... I'm not sure HBC...changing job is not as easy as it may seems... However, I did once quit my first job with one of the reason is that I can't stand (read: torchered) people around me talking bad all the time about other people behind their back. At first, I ignore them, but when they get to talk about my friends, I started defending them. I tried to change my circle of work-mate, which turn out might make me a gossiper also. It is more difficult being a woman than a man in term of this matter. If I was a man, not listening to those craps will only signify.."well he's a man.." no further discussion. But as a woman tried to not to be involved, means, I take side the person they hate.. Well luckily I've never found such sickening environment after I changed my job.. -
FriendsForever said on Aug 19, 2006....
I guess we can meet these hypocite (or whatever) everywhere, even in the neighborhood there are people like those that upset you. But for me, I stand firm to what I believe and I can be frank with anyone in my office. Though I tried not to hurt even I'm being blunt.
Try some tact even in dealing with office politics, somewhere somehow you can get your ideas right to the management. I've been branded as the office rebel but the management can't find a way to throw me out. As long as you don't cause too much debate for your cause, sometimes other staff will depend on you.
You always have the right to voice what you believe but also be aware that it is not always the right thing.
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Jatinangor said on Aug 20, 2006....
true, maybe u r the most straightforward person i've ever known sis..well i learn a lot from u.But it's not easy To be a straightforward person. Such as to deal with umm..difficult person(like..aunt-who-think-that-she-know-everythings). I hate her(a bit..) but i've always sweet-talks to her, coz i know, it won't do any good if i confront her. Am i hypocrite then? i hate her attitude, but in the other hand, she's already old..and it seems the rest of our big family member hated her, so what can I do? I called it, being nice.Not hypocrite, not tactical, just nice. She's old, nobody listen to her,and hey..all i have to do are only give her a little bit smile and"aah..", "oh really?.."."u're right.."..done! she's happy..Maybe i am hypocrite.. :(
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urangnukasep said on Oct 04, 2006....
neng jatinangor ..
that's not being hypocrisy, that's just being stupid hahaha
but that's also the reason why not all people go to heaven =) it ain't easy being nice..