That is what it feels like I am doing, I am fighting my memories, fighting depression, fighting negativity, and fighting giving up on everything. I am trying so hard to be a good mother- trying to keep my life as it was before starting to deal with this, make it where it does not effect anybody, but me. Fighting the idea of allowing people to see the real me, the reality that I am not a perfectly happy, positive, person all the time- and that I have major issues. Tired that I am not normal.
I am fighting the craziness in my head, fighting just quitting everything and hiding. Fighting wanting to run away~ I am tired of being fake, but couldn't be real if I tried. Being happy and positive is not real right now. My reality right now is sadness and pain but I cannot let myself show that. I am just tired and scared. I am so tired of being strong.
