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To comment ....... or not.

uniquely-ironic posted on Aug 13, 2008 | views: 281 | Tags: comment, Feedback, Census, blog
I'm going to credit Creative Woman with sparking this blog idea.  I think she's a muse :)
 
When I'm reading blogs there are times when I feel compelled to NOT comment.  I usually like to comment as a way of adding to the thought line or showing support for a good blog.  Other times the subject is "too close" to my heart and I feel like commenting would lay bare my soul which is not ready to be that exposed.  There are blogs that occaisionally I have thoughts on, but when considering whether it serves a purpose I come to the conclussion that it is a negative thought that will likely not be constructive or constructively received and serves no purpose.  Then, last but not least, some times I feel like I have nothing to add.  Someone has covered the thoughts I have on the blog as good or better than I might have.
 
When I'm on the other side of the equation I like to hear feedback even if it seems to be a repeat of another commenter.  It's almost like polling friends to get a consensus.  If you hear the same thoughts coming back it seems to validate it some how.  I do wonder if other people withhold comment out of kindness in an attempt to save my feelings.
 
What are your thoughts on this?


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Comments

  • MissMimi said on Aug 13, 2008....

    Often when I read blogs about serious things, serious problems, and commenters are offering advice, I become extremely intimidated by what I consider much better well-thought out comments than I could ever make.  A lot of times all I can think of to say is, I'm sorry, what you're going through is really tough, I wish I knew what to say.

    Yes, sometimes I don't comment because there's no sense in hurting somebody's feelings.  Or I don't know to say something without sounding like a pompous ass.

    Uni, I've noticed that I always seem to find your posts almost immediately after you publish them.  I'm not stalking you, I promise.  ;)
  • beyondtheveil said on Aug 13, 2008....
    unique- I add to this the blogs where I just don't know what to say. There is always something to say, but finding the words is sometimes not with me at the moment.

    But like you, I like the comments on my blog.
  • uniquely-ironic said on Aug 13, 2008....
    MissMimi - you can stalk me if you want to ;)  I like it.  One of the things I like very much about you is that you are always positive and supportive. 
     
    BTV - Believe it or not, sometimes I'm speechless too. (very hard to believe if you know me at all well)  At those times I either don't comment, or "mumble" some incoherent nonsense that I hope passes for a comment.
  • bluegum said on Aug 13, 2008....
    i don't comment sometimes even on posts where i have a opinon,i think for me it's a mood thing .
    blue.
  • uniquely-ironic said on Aug 13, 2008....
    blue - well, moods do play into it.  Sometimes I'm not even in the mood to read the blogs.
  • Me-Myself&I said on Aug 13, 2008....

    i try to comment, these days lately.... i am so tired/braindead that.... lol....i am speechless/commentless!  *smile*

    i figure when i get my second wind, i'll be bugging all of you with my two cents worth!

    you are one of my favorite bloggers, i DO read you! ;~)

    take care. ~see ya

     

  • dailyachesandpains said on Aug 13, 2008....
    Unique:  Sometimes I don't have the time to comment.  Most of my day is consumed with being a Mom, or going to doctor after doctor calling in orders to the pharmacy, and my obsession with cleaning has been at an all time high these days.  Today is daycare day, and I cleaned up more last night in order to try to not focus so much on it today.  If I have written something, it's usually a rant these days.  I find that I can type the longest rant faster than a short comment. 
     
    All in all, I have been doing a lot more reading than commenting.  Even finding myself having a moment to read, I more often than not have had to go back to the post to finish reading.  My Adult ADD LOL!
     
    Sometimes I feel that I want to comment, but I feel like if I can relate to it, I've been putting in the "ME" way too much in my replies and internally feeling that people think I'm all about "ME" and I never intend on giving off that vibe.
     
    Now I have to run because daycare is over and I have a little one that needs me to do this, that and everything else after she whips through the house like a tornado and I have to re-clean everything!
    ;-)
     
    Daily
  • CreativeWoman said on Aug 13, 2008....
    UI,
    I've been called many things, but rarely a muse.  :-)

    Most generally, if I read a blog I like to leave a comment.  The exception is when it comes to blogs about relationships.  It's not my strong suit and sometimes I don't have the words to be supportive without sounding hypocritical.

    CW
  • starchini said on Aug 13, 2008....
    theres always a way to add to things nicely even if u dont agree...usually when i dont comment its because i dont have the time to make it as good a comment as i want or like u said i dont have much to add or what happens most often, it flew straight over my head.  : >  Sometimes i just dont know what to say...when people talk about there families and things ill read and just kinda nod my head..."yup good post...."...lol...
  • polarheart said on Aug 13, 2008....
    My views are the same as yours U-I.  Now that I am here much less these days, I find often that I will read what people have written and often I dont leave a comment.  Perhaps I should say:  from now on, if I've read your blog but dont want to comment for whatever reason. . .I will just put a "I was here" comment down just so you know I popped in. 
     
    That is what I would like.  Just to know who read my blogs even if they have nothing to say.
     
    Polar x
  • wishyouwerehere said on Aug 13, 2008....
    Great thread - I sometimes read without commenting, but that sort of echoes the way I am in real life.  I am far more outspoken here than I would be if you actually met me - I use way too many words when I write and not nearly enough when I speak.  I am terribly shy, unless I am lecturing, but of course, that is pre-planned!
     
    Usually, when I feel like I have nothing to say, I just smile warmly, but I guess it would be hard to tell with me sitting on the other side of a computer screen! :)
  • woman said on Aug 13, 2008....
    If I have the time, I like to comment. Just sort of join in the fellowship. And I enjoy comments back for the same reason.
  • RollingC said on Aug 13, 2008....
    You touched upon a good point.  Many times I've read something without commenting as I would like sometimes for the simple reason that everything's been said and covered in the comments above.  I've recently started to leave a " I was here " comment just to leave my footprint there. It could be anything from  a few words to just a simple happy face.   
    :^)
    Rc
  • silver_phoenix said on Aug 13, 2008....

    hey there! I think that comments are good and I kinda agree with you. If something you wanted to say was already said it does seem kinda silly to comment! I do think an acknowledgment is nice though!

    I'll probably comment where I think I can add something new or funny. If I read something that I cannot add much to I'll try and acknowledge I read it!

    Great post =P

  • newbeginnings said on Aug 13, 2008....
    this is a difficult one, sometimes it seems rude not to comment if you have read, almost  like reading someones diary in secret, and yes, like you, at other times there is nothing to say, for a wide variety of reasons.
    The concensus thing, its like when you have a decision to make and you run it past friends, really you know you have made a decision you just need it verified by people whose opinion you value. Its a bit like that here, I feel, and also it validates your feelings, fears, expectations etc.. also its just damm good to know that someone cares enough to take the time to reply.
    Personally sometimes I do and sometimes I dont, but mostly I do and I love and value the comments I get, sometimes it gives you a whole new angle to ponder and sometime it just makes you smile.
    thanks for all your comments unique, NB xx
  • newbeginnings said on Aug 13, 2008....
    :)
  • uniquely-ironic said on Aug 13, 2008....
    MM&I - I can totally relate to having brain dead moments.  You never bug me, though. ;)
     
    Daily - I worry about putting too much "me" into my comments too.  I'm sure I worry too much, but the last thing I want to come off as is a ego centric me monster.  Your comments have never struck me as that at all.  And with young ones it's much harder to find time.
     
    CW - well, today you were my muse!  I worry about relationship blogs too.  My life is more of an example of what can go wrong than how to do it right.
     
    Star - I find myself nodding or laughing at computer monitors a lot.  I wish there was a way to record those and save me the time of trying to put it into words.
     
    polar - great idea!!  You're like me in wanting to know who stopped by.
     
    wish - I think we're opposites that way.  I'm lucky to say more than a few voluntary words a day.  Part of my job is to talk (answer phones, coordinate people, etc) so I find volutary conversations less attractive.  I do like to write comments more also because I can "erase" something before I send it.
     
    woman - yes, fellowship does involve that communication.  Even when it's not profound it's nice just to hear it.
     
    RC - polar also suggested that and I think it's a good idea.  A way of letting the blogger know you were there and read their blog, but for one reason or another just didn't have a comment.
     
    silver - all good points, and it seems we have commenting habits in common.  Nice to see you here.
     
    new - I know that I really appreciate it when someone will comment with an agreement when I've already got my mind made up.  Also, just to hear that confessing to something really weird and finding out that it's really not that weird at all is comforting. 
     
     
  • secretlife said on Aug 13, 2008....
    there are many times where i read just to keep up but feel like i've nothing to add- and there are certainly times where i won't comment because i've very little positive to add to the conversation.
     
    sometimes i don't have time to comment as i really would like to- 
    and i do have times where i'm just quiet...
  • silver_phoenix said on Aug 13, 2008....
    hey! thanks u-i ! be seein ya around =P
  • uniquely-ironic said on Aug 13, 2008....
    SL - all understandable.  So what do you think of the idea of leaving a "I've been here" note?
  • Eilan said on Aug 13, 2008....
    I can't tell you how many times I've started to comment and then hit the back button.  Sometimes I have trouble putting my thoughts into words or I'll decide that someone else has already done a better job of saying what I was going to say!

    Occasionally I'll say something I just should have kept to myself, but for the most part, I don't ever regret a comment that I've made.
  • evil_twin said on Aug 13, 2008....
    Lately I haven't been commenting that much at all. I just read. And it's just because of the mood I've been in. Words aren't coming to me very well, so I just haven't known what to say. But generally I comment to posts when I feel like I can offer advice or if I can relate to what the person is talking about. Or to just let them know something was funny or interesting.

    But there are a lot of posts I read that I either don't want to share my opinion on, or I don't really have an opinion on. So I feel stupid commenting on something I know nothing about. And most of the time if I really disagree with what someone wrote, I just click away from it, rather than comment and tell them I don't agree. I'm of the opinion that if you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all.

    -evil_twin LA
  • secretlife said on Aug 13, 2008....
    ui:  eh, i've rarely felt compelled to leave a "been here" message unless i'm completely speechless or the person really needs to know someone is reading along.  sometimes when i start to read a brand new person, i'll leave a "i'm reading along" note to encourage them to keep writing and know that someone is reading-
  • fearing said on Aug 13, 2008....
    Most of the time, if I don't comment it's because I just haven't got the time.  If I have the time but purposely don't, it is probably because I don't have anything to add.  Sometimes I find myself skipping over what everyone else has written and I'll type what is on my mind.  I may repeat someone's thoughts but I think the meaning is still there.



  • uniquely-ironic said on Aug 13, 2008....
    Eilan - I wish I were so lucky as to not ever regret a comment.  In most cases the regret is mine alone, but still the same ..........  I think I would benefit from more thought before the enter button.
     
    ET - I was raised with the "if you can't say something nice ... " saying and most of the time I try to apply that to myself.  Like you, some times my opinion or feelings on a blog are so opposite that I feel commenting would only stir up trouble.
     
    SL - I've rarely done that, but now I think I might be more compelled to do so, if only so the writer knows who is reading their blog.
     
    fearing  - I find myself skipping over other comments if there is a lengthy comments list.  It's not like I don't like to know what someone else thinks, but there is not always enough time in my day to go into that degree of detail.
  • Lucytorial said on Aug 13, 2008....
    My thoughts are that you are completely psychotic sometimes, neurotic and totally fucking cool as well nerdy and stupid and sometimes dear I just wish I could slap you with a wet fish kiss you with my lips and squeeze your ass like a whore... commenting for me is very similar, sometimes I do sometiems not if its too close... but as far as people not commenting to save my feelings... it would be nicer for transparent thoughts personally I like it.... most of the time I miss those kinds of posts that set me off.
  • zaneamorphous said on Aug 14, 2008....
    i'll be honest, sometimes i don't read all of the comments under someone else's post, sometimes i don't read many of them. (depending on how many there are and how interested in the topic i am i guess)

    but when i comment, i just kind of put it out there i guess. if i disagree, i try to do so politely, and if i agree i chime in. i figure commenting is a nice way to support someone blogging, it let's them know you're reading and what you think/different viewpoints/etc. so i comment most of everything i read. the only time i don't is if i don't really have anything to say at all.

    personally, if someones going to comment my blog, i would want them to comment me completely honestly with whatever's on their mind.

    i take everyones opinions seriously, but i try not to take them straight to heart necessarily. idk, i hope you know what i mean.


    good post! =]
  • quietone said on Aug 14, 2008....
    If I am going to take the time to read a persons post, I am going to comment on it too.  Yes, I think it would be nice if people wold just add  "I was here" if nothing else.  :)
  • Mamie said on Aug 14, 2008....
    i usually comment if I open a post and read it. Even if what I say is not appreciated, who cares? I am just sayin'....I don't think too much about it at all, I just chat away....hope you are well! mamie
  • day2day said on Aug 14, 2008....
    =P
     
    very interesting post.  I just don't understand why everyone thinks that they should be nice all the time. I think when i or someone else comments it's a friendship thing that is forming. Suggestions and ideas are not always nice.  Don't be mean about it, just comment on it. At least say :( or :) or something about how you feel after you've read something that someone feels passionate about. I'm fairly new to this blogging. Maybe i'm wrong.
    day
  • MissMimi said on Aug 14, 2008....
    Hey, uni!  I was here this morning!
  • uniquely-ironic said on Aug 14, 2008....

    Lucy - LOL I have that affect on people my friend.  I see we comment similarly, which is no great surprise as I swear we are long lost sister.  Of course you got to live some place cool.  You must have been mother's favorite ;)

    zane - I think I do get what you mean.  I take all comments seriously, but not to the point that I take them personally. (with a few exceptions)  I think it's not wise to make someone else's opinion your guide.

    quietone - I think it would be nice too and will try to start doing that.

    Mamie - If I'm honest, I have to admit that I care if they appreciate my comment.  However, I'm also wise enough to know that not everyone will.

    day - I may be mistaken, but I think the intent is to communicate the comment (nice or not) in a way that is not offensive.  I can tell someone they're dead wrong, but I don't have to be harsh about it.  Or at least I try not to be.

    MissMimi - Good Morning my friend!

  • hugecock! said on Aug 14, 2008....

    If I like the blogger I comment .

     

  • uniquely-ironic said on Aug 14, 2008....
    huge - fair enough!
  • Lucytorial said on Aug 14, 2008....
    No mother gave me up the bitch! now I gotta spend my days under a blue sky, lots of hunky cow boys, rainforest walks and talcam powder beaches... dang thats hard! mwa ha ha ha
  • uniquely-ironic said on Aug 14, 2008....
    Lucy - Bitch!!  er ...... I mean ........ oh, how nice!  All mama gave me was a headache and a big pain in the ass.
  • Lucytorial said on Aug 14, 2008....
    :-]  I can't wait to go to the hair dressers today... god its going to be nice... do you think I should post a pic? before and after? should I give everyone a laugh?
  • uniquely-ironic said on Aug 14, 2008....
    Lucy - that would be mighty brave of you.
  • silverwhisper said on Aug 15, 2008....
    i've been wrestling with this for quite a while, myself. as a rule, if i have something different to say, or i think the soulcaster needs to know that someone is reading him or her, i'll comment. every single time.

    but yeah, there's certainly times that i have nothing to add. back in the day, i used to comment, irrespective of whether i was adding something new or different or not. but after a while that simply isn't sustainable--for me, it hasn't been for a long time. even with my very favorites, i won't always add something.

    ed
  • Lucytorial said on Aug 15, 2008....
    Okay so your back..................
     
    DUCK AND COVER EVERYONE HE'S BACK AGAIN.
     
    Oh don't forget our planned meeting Ed... 5pm has been and gone and I am now consoling myself to the fact we may need to sack you.
  • silverwhisper said on Aug 15, 2008....
    er...say what?

    ed
  • Lucytorial said on Aug 15, 2008....
    You may wish to go to your second last post young man and then find the energy to start explaining.  We've had enough of your slcaking off and even though we wish to hear from you WHY! it may not be enough.
  • silverwhisper said on Aug 15, 2008....
    [trout-smacks tobi-lee]

    :D
  • Lucytorial said on Aug 16, 2008....
    YOU ARE FIRED! clean your desk out and go righ tnow, enoug is enough Ed, we just can't have people like you in the business anymore.
     
    **Lucy grabs tissue to wipe her face**
     
    >:-}
  • silverwhisper said on Aug 19, 2008....
    are you sure you didn't mean fried? cuz you know, i'm a tad tired... :p

    ed

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