Only choose to marry a person who you would choose as a friend first.  My mate is not who I want.  I don't want to be in a relationship with him or anyone.  I don't have a model mate.  I believe I should be spending my time in supportive friendships,only.  It would be difficult to share these feelings with him because he is not my friend.  I am frustrated because I've remained in this marriage too long.  He is not what I want, yet in my mind I try to make him what I want.  Free my mind.  Bill Cosby said, "If you know what you want, you will recognize it when you see it.  I haven't been honest about who my mate is.  This is why I am in a state of disillusionment and disappointment.  I cannot change my mate.  He is not what I want.  He is not what I want. He is not what I want.  If I were him I wouldn't be married to me.  I'm self-supporting, very independent, and don't like anyone being boss of me.  I like to do things my way.  I'm very scheduled.  Give us strength to admit the truth and go our separate ways.