Ughh well this is going to be short since I really am tired and need to be sleeping but I just can not manage to shake these nightmares. Waking up feeling like his hands are around my neck, struggling for air. When will it all go away...ever? Im begining to think not. The fear, the panic attacks and now these horrid yet so vivid dreams. Sometimes like tonight it is hard for me to tell in the moment if it is a dream or real.
I just really wish I could be normal and blend into society without all this baggage. My anger for what has been done to me and everything I was exposed to is begining to really sink in and I have no clue what to do with the anger. I dont want to be just another statistic of domestic trafficking. I want to make it and be able to over come all these obstacles. Im not ready to admit defeat or lay down and cry from defeat yet. My dreams still seem so attainable....I can see myself being a Cardiologist and that excites me. The thought brings me hope now it is just getting my thoughts and dreams to fuel my direction.
Ughhh so many thought and worries. I know right now Im just overwhelmed with having my first job and now college will be starting on the 18th and to be honest Im afraid. What if Im too far behind, or what if I can not make it? Right now I have my dreams and am attempting to overcome and be a survivor but if I attempt and fail...where does that leave me?
