Friendship is a term that I feel is taken for granted and thrown around far too loosely. The word "friend" is defined by the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary as a favored companion. The people who write the dictionary make it seem simple, but the definition of friendship is complex; different strokes for different folks. Some people define their friends as the family that they have chosen for themselves. Many see friendship as something that can change day by day and be ranked on Facebook or Myspace. I feel that people view friendship based on their unique life experiences, which shape their insight into the nature of human beings and relationships throughout time.
Back in elementary school, friendship was a commodity - something to be traded for that Fruit Roll-Up that your mom would never buy for your school lunch. I'm sure that each and every one of us has said, "If you do/give me ______, I'll be your best friend!" Those were the innocent years when we really felt that anybody with a warm smile, gullible mind and delicious candy could be a friend. As the years go by so slowly, yet so fast, it becomes increasingly difficult when you realize that there are people in the world who you can't depend on and who don't have your best interest in their hearts.
Perhaps now is the time to start categorizing people and bestowing the gift of friendship on a chosen few, because only a few really are your friends. Most people on your Myspace/Facebook "friends" list are acquaintances or classmates. .There is absolutely nothing wrong with having five-thousand acquaintances throughout life as long as you are discerning about those who you choose to let into your life more closely. I think that people see the word "acquaintance" as being rude towards other people, so the term friend is used instead. It is a lot easier to sugarcoat things, but the more common that the word "friend" becomes, the more the qualities of a real friend are taken for granted.
Recently, I have come to understand the true meaning of friendship(s) in life, and that they are not to be taken for granted. Someone once asked me, "Do you have a lot of friends?" Back then, I honestly replied no and didn't even back up my reasoning. For awhile, I regreted saying this, but then I remembered how my grandfather used to tell me, "On this side of the playing field, you will eventually come to realize that the number of true friends that you have will be countable on your hand before you strike out." Okay, it wasn't exactly that, but it was something along those lines. At that time, I didn't understand his logic, but I am glad that he told me this, because I have come to realize that it will probably be true. I hate it that this is true, but I felt that I had to write to address the fact that our naivete about people and the trust that we share with them will eventually be broken.
Lately, I have realized that many friends have come and gone, as if they were ocean waves that vanish as soon as they break on the shore. I then understand that many of these people may not have been real friends at all, although a few did prove me wrong. It is said that people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Some of these people are your real friends; others are not. I haven't been around long enough to know who is in my life for the long haul, but I know that such relationships are possible. My grandparents have had some good friends in their lives for well over 50 years. Though distance has come between them, I still see that they care about each other and try to stay in touch. My mom has some friends from her younger days that she still speaks to frequently despite distance and busy schedules.
This seems so ideal, but I have come to realize that sometimes even the closest of friendships drift apart and there is no one that can be blamed. People grow and change; growth is necessary for all of us even though its results can hurt. I am sure that as I continue to have experiences with different people, my own definition of friendship might change. Change in life is completely necessary, as I believe that it is our job to make sure that those changes are for the better - even if that change is catalyzed by life's hard truths.
In conclusion, all you can do is be a good friend to everyone that you meet; In the long run, time will tell you how special you were to those people. As I once read in an internet article that inspired me to post this blog entry, "You must learn to appreciate the true friends that you have in your life because you never know when you might lose them. If you feel like you are losing them, try to get them back if possible. Also, open your heart to new friendships because you never know who God will bring into your life." Conclusively, I always told myself that if I really leave an impact on someone's heart, they will remember me in the long run, no matter what their personality is at the time.
