When much younger, I made the trip from El Paso, Texas through the Guadalupe Pass regularly. The Guadalupe Mountains are almost entirely in New Mexico, but several tall peaks jut into Texas. The tallest mountain in Texas is here. I've climbed it to the summit and looked over three states and Mexico.
At the top of Guadalupe Pass at place called Pine Springs, there used to be a small grocery/cafe run by an elderly woman. She and her husband were among the first settlers in the area. I would stop there every trip to get a coke and talk to her. She would sit with me, I would ask questions and be told of the history of their life and the life of the other settlers. Many times I sat with my mouth open, taking in the varied adventures.
On one trip through the pass with anticipation of seeing her, I found her store razed to the ground. I found out later that due to the area becoming "Guadalupe Mountains National park", the friendly U.S. government no longer wanted her there. They took her land and building through eminent domain and sent her to live with her daughter in a nearby town.
What a tragedy. This woman was history, as much as the trees that grew there. Nothing to my knowledge was kept of that history she held. Did I have enough sense to write anything down? Not a chance. Did anyone else, probably not. Do I remember it? Not enough.
When growing up in my hometown I would listen to my friend's mother tell of the settling of my hometown. When she arrived there were no roads in, only a railroad which is the way she came. There were two short streets when she stepped off the train. She had the story of her life in the building of that town.
New Mexico did not become a state until 1912. They didn't really begin to build highways until the 1930's. Stories like this are all over the state - at least they were. They are all lost unless someone wrote them down.
My grandfather ran away from home at age twelve and traveled from Sulphur Springs, Texas to South Carolina, to El Paso, Texas, and back to central Texas. This adventure with it's untold stories died with him. I talked with my grandfather more than anyone else about history, but strangely enough he never told of these times. Perhaps he didn't want to. Perhaps they brought depressing memories. But the point is, I didn't ask. I didn't have sense enough to do that. So its all lost.
I have found, far too late, we should talk to old people. Listen to what they say and if its something dear to you, such as family or local history, write it down.
Imagine the lives, the adventures, the loves and losses, the history we as a people have allowed to melt and sink onto oblivion across this nation.
Why aren't we taught to do that?
Why wasn't I taught to do that? -
simply to talk to old people and retain it somehow.
beyondtheveil posted on Aug 05, 2008
| views: 783
Comments
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MissMimi said on Aug 05, 2008....
You know, beyond, I always used to tease mrMimi about his habit of writing trip diaries when he travels because he goes into such excrutiating detail. But I can see the value in these now because his frequent travel companion was his mother. Well, she is elderly now, and afflicted with Alzheimer's disease. All those trip memories would have been hazy and ultimately lost if he hadn't written them down.I wish I had thought to do that with some of the older members of my family. But at the time thery died, I was a teenager. At that age, you just don't think of those things because you think you will live forever.Excellent post. -
Me-Myself&I said on Aug 05, 2008....
*smile* strange, i was thinking this same thought today. most of the folks i clean for are older folks.( cleaned for 2 of the older people today) i love them! after i get done cleaning most of all of them, will sit and talk and talk. they are lonely. i go on with them and laugh the whole time. some of them call just to talk to me....then thank me for calling them. *smile*
yup, i need to write these stories down. some are just precious.
you know, someday i will be old....i hope someone listens to me.
take care. ~see ya
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uniquely-ironic said on Aug 05, 2008....
Yes, we are foolish not to sit and let them talk with us. I know that throughout my life I have met individuals with extraordinary lives. One who worked on Amelia Earhearts plane, another who settled into the west when people often came here to escape their pasts, another who lived in NY when the streets were still cobbled and most recently a man who knew and worked with the founder of the martial art system I learned.I have in my possession the diary of the grandfather I never knew. I also recently got a copy of a video taped interview with the grandmother I just lost. Both precious one of a kind memories.I keep saying that I will sit and keep a journal. Maybe I should try again. -
botoni said on Aug 05, 2008....
The uncountable volumns of history we have lost because no one bothered to record it is incredible. I talked a lot with my dad when he was in his fifties but there is still a whole segment of his life that I have no knowledge about. Those who knew him then are almost all gone and I am left with a blank space of about 15 years. Speculation just doesnt cut it. -
Eilan said on Aug 05, 2008....
My grandma knew so much about family history and the history of the (very) small town we lived in/near. In the last 10 years of her life, she bought a notebook and wrote down a lot of her memories in it, including floor plans of every house she ever lived in. She also wrote about/to each of us, but I'm not ready to read that yet.
She says that my great-grandmother (grandpa's mother), who lived with them for many years, always told so many stories, but not many relatives listened because they didn't want to hear about old people. My great-grandmother died in 1963, and after her death a lot of those folks wish they'd listened to her stories--some of them were lost with her! I know my grandma always regretted that she didn't pay more attention to her MIL.
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gingersoul said on Aug 05, 2008....
BeyBey.......you know me and you know how much I love history.
And what better way to learn history if not from the very personal recounting of the witnesses?
I think you might recall this blog i wrote last summer about a night in Italy when my mom started to tell the story of her childhood to my daughter. The bridge between our three generations was crossed in a second with that story .
My post here
Old people should be treated as endangered species....carefully taken care of .......i often think : "What when the last one of two generations ago will die?"
Old people are like old books. Many just can't wait to tell their story. To be read.
Have you ever noticed how their face lighten up when you ask them something about their past? They feel recognized and valued.
As they should.
Just another beautiful post.....:-)
What did i tell you? Grieving has so many shapes..{{hugs}}
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beyondtheveil said on Aug 05, 2008....
mimi- Through all my teenage years I listened to my grandfather. He was self educated, so worldly and wise. But you are right, we would live forever, and in my mind they would live forever too. No rush on anything, right?
memyself- You have an opportunity for a collection of stories, I'd say. Old people do like to talk, to reminisce of their days gone by. And while you write them down, you're making them happy at the same time.
unique- I thought of you while writing this and the genealogy work you do and are collecting. That's another thing I didn't do either. My daughter is very interested. Every time she sees me nowdays, she has with her old pictures and picks my brain for information. Some of the time I can give her little more than a name.
bot- I have blank spaces with all the old family. It saddens me so much is lost and irretrievable. We wouldn't make the history books, but my kids and future generations would I'm sure be very interested.
eilan- It comes back to haunt us, doesn't it? At least your grandma wrote things down and and left you what sounds like letters. You don't want to read it yet? Would it be too personal to ask why?
ginsoul- I remember that post! Such a wonderfully written account. I had not thought of old people being like an endangered species and like old books - that's beautiful. And I guess you're right, grieving does have many shapes. You wise, but young woman.
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Eilan said on Aug 05, 2008....
beyond: It's not too personal at all. It's still too soon for me, I think, since she just passed away in April. I'll definitely read it someday. I'm still having a tough time just going into her house, mostly because it seems odd to go there and not find her sitting in her usual spot.
I'm glad she started writing things down. The main reason she did it was because she had macular degeneration and she wanted to get things on paper while she could still see what she was writing.
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beyondtheveil said on Aug 05, 2008....
eilan- I couldn't believe what was happening to my mother either, couldn't even believe it when she passed. Thank you. I understand. -
one_wired_kitty said on Aug 05, 2008....
My great grandmother (maternal Grandfathers Mom) was born in 1907 .. so much history. She was nearly blind and was very hard of hearing ... died a few weeks before her her birthday in February.A few of us would sit around and listen to her tell us about what it was like ... seeing WWI, The great depression, WWII .... it was amazing ... -
queenparanoia said on Aug 05, 2008....
i miss my grandparents... they live in iloilo while i'm here in manila.. i miss the times when my grandma would tell me stories about herself, when she was growing up. history became interesting when they talk about their life especially during the war. my grandpa was a soldier... maybe next year i could visit them though... ;-) -
quietone said on Aug 05, 2008....
all I have is a box of old photos.. very few I know in them. I have them from my mothers side, and have tracked the history back as far as the 1600's and put a few names to the faces on some of the old photos.. the thing is, I look at the photo and wonder what their story was... I will never know. I think about this kind of thing all the time. Years ago when I worked in a nursing home, I would sit and listen to lots of stories the old people would share with us. What a good thing to leave behind.. to say "hey, I was here". Think I will start my story ~ thanks beyond. -
silentmysts said on Aug 05, 2008....
I had an old friend who was passed away. When I was 19 and 20 years old, she always tell me the stories about her past. She had difficult and good journeys in her life. Some of her past find very shocking and interesting. She had successfully and failure in her life. I never had forget about her.I have grandparents, I really want talk to them but they are too far from where I am living right now. If I do talk to them, I would want hear their stories and talk.I agree that old people really need tell stories and have some attention from people. -
ninjapirate said on Aug 06, 2008....
What a nice post Beyond. I often think of the times when I was really young and my Dad would tell me his stories, and sometimes I get pretty sad that I can't remember the details now or that I didn't really understand what he meant because I was so young. You've given me an idea though, maybe I'll write down what I do remember and ask my family if they can help fill it in. -
kruuyai said on Aug 06, 2008....
Beyond: Hello from Turkey! çöşğlü (just a little sample from the keyboard)
I agree wıth Mımı et al that we need to become our own hıstorıans. I guess, wıth bloggıng, many of us are doıng just that. See you ın a couple of weeks.
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queenparanoia said on Aug 06, 2008....
wahahahahahahha welcome back kruu!!! -
scipio said on Aug 06, 2008....
Good post. In Japan, I think the old people are revered as National Treasures. In these times and days- who has the free time to sit by them, listen and take down what the old people say. Although it is easier these days with micro taperecorder and other gadgets to record what they say- so that no bits of information, however small or insignificant are lost. It is a sad state of affairs that today's generation find old people a burden and so they move out or move them out and loose out forever what the old people have to offer. -
beyondtheveil said on Aug 06, 2008....
onewired- Those stories are amazing to sit and listen to. I've talked to many veterans of WWII, not many from WWI. The stories are always different, many times sad, but leave you in awe of humanity one way or the other.
queenie- If you visit them, I'd really like to hear what your grandpa and grandma say about living the war in the Philippines. That would be a great post.
quiet- We have so many of those old pictures. I do the same as you, look at the picture and wonder about their life. It would have been so easy for them to write about it in something no larger than a letter. Perhaps they did and it was lost. How much did we lose through time?
silent- If you have the chance to sit with your grandparents and talk of their lives, you will save a part of your history which might be lost otherwise. This becomes more important as time goes by. Later, you could hand these writings to your grandkids and give them something few others have.
ninja- You mentioned something that is so difficult later - remembering the details. In my post about the woman in Pine Springs, I remember the general talk, but not the details. Without details, it is lost.
kruubabygirl!!!- I've looked for you everywhere, in all the nooks and crannies, you had me worried again. You are in Turkey? I'll be expecting blogs later, with funny names like pirates and such. I think you are building an excellent history with your blogs. Just think, when you settle down and have six kids and twenty-two grandchildren, they can read of your great adventures. Grandma kruu, imagine that. (I didn't understand the sample from your keyboard. I don't "talk turkey")
scipio- There are cultures where old people are revered and I've heard Japan is one. We need to learn from them. I think our own grandparents are revered to a point, but all old people don't seem to be. And they have so much to offer.
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one_wired_kitty said on Aug 06, 2008....
Beyond ... she once told me she was a riveter during ww2 -
woman said on Aug 06, 2008....
Thanks for another lovely post. I loved gingers old people are like old books. Wonderfully put. I have always talked to the elders in my life and enjoyed their stories. What I have NOT done is write them down. Thanks for the push. -
beyondtheveil said on Aug 06, 2008....
onewired- Ah, Rosie the Riveter, I've seen these gals on tv telling their stories.
woman- We all need a push, don't we? If this post and its attending comments gets one person to write, it was well worth it. Thank you for the compliment.
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queenparanoia said on Aug 06, 2008....
maybe i'll blog about that someday... ;-) -
truthsayer said on Aug 06, 2008....
My friend, how we are able to teach and learn from each other is one of God's greatest mysteries. This is the difference in Esau and Jacob, Joseph and his brothers, and so many more. This blog is one of the best that I have ever read. I will come back tomorrow, if I can, and share more of what this piece, filled with wisdom, means to me. If you will allow me. Love, love, love, Truthsayer -
beyondtheveil said on Aug 06, 2008....
truth- Thank you so much for that compliment, and of course, you and your feelings and insight are always welcome. By the way, I don't know the difference between Esau and Jacob, Joseph and his brothers. -
eurekame said on Aug 07, 2008....
bey bey, i learned this lesson at a very young age. growing up to respect your adults was of high priority.during family get togethers one of the elders of our family would reley stories passed on for many generations. tells of a wagon train, of settling in sacramento. my father was very much into californians history, he would take me gold panning. he would tell me stories of his great grandfather doing exactly what we were doing.my family was always telling stories. i remember them being told so very often that they almost become my memories. my daughter is 3 an already i tell her many of them.history in my family has become some what a family tradiction. on my wedding night i stayed up way to late reading the letters my grandma and grandfather wrote back and forth during their courtship. (during WWII) she wanted to show me what 50+ years started with...a lesson with the history. this is how i was taught many things. as we still should learn.thanks bey bey for reminding people that our elders stories should remain. as our's will here in SC.me. -
beyondtheveil said on Aug 07, 2008....
eureka- This was a refreshing read. With your family steeped in history, retelling the stories, leaving written records, this is what I was talking about. I do hope that you will write them down (if you haven't already) because if you don't the stories could be lost to your grandchildren and their children. The enjoyment you receive from reading your grandparents letters could be felt by future generations from those writings of yours. -
silverwhisper said on Aug 09, 2008....
beyond, what a great post!
my wife & i used to have a friend, a retiree. we would meet with him when we could, and he always had such interesting stories to tell. sadly, his poor health took him away from us some years ago and i still miss him. his birthday is coming later this month and i will drink to his memory, as we usually do on that date.
there is an old saying that when an old man dies, a forest burns. there is great wisdom in that saying.
ed -
beyondtheveil said on Aug 09, 2008....
Thank you, Ed. When I lived in St. Louis and had an apartment upstairs, I spent many mornings drinking coffee with an old man from Tennessee. The stories and old sayings just poured from his mouth. I didn't write those down either. Your old saying I had not heard, I really like it. Very fitting. -
truthsayer said on Aug 09, 2008....
Happy Saturday beyond, silver, and all.Jacob and Joseph had mighty hearts of love and compassion. They had respect for the past and its meaning to them, and what it meant to future generations. They both knew their family histories and knew that it was an honor to know. They were eager students and avid learners.Esau was a brute. He did not value the past, his position in history, or protect the future of his family or future generations. The brothers of Joseph (except for Benjamin) were weaker in character than Joseph (like Esau was), but they did eventually figure it out, so to speak. They repented. They were grateful to Joseph in the end. Grateful for his forgiveness, but also that the favor of God upon him (because God knew his heart of love, respect and compassion) was appropriate.Now, for me personally? My grandparents sort of raised me. I spent as much time at their house as I did my own during my early years. Then when I started school, I still got my teaching, correction and guidance from them. My parents were not devout. One was 'proud to be a heathen' ; ) He is the one that came to the Lord at my house. My parents did teach me good things, but it was my grandparents that taught me to live a life of character and ingegrity by respecting my elders, seeking wisdom and truth while being compassionate and caring.I love older people. I love babies and children too. But I have a special place in my heart for my elders. My children are the same way. I learn from my elders whenever I possibly can. I love to hear their stories and their wisdom about life, as they look back on it.I was blessed to hear all about my parents early years of marriage a few Christmas' ago. Since they divorced when I was 14, it was a blessing and an answer to a young girl's prayer. They were both at my house for Christmas. Watching them "grandparent" together and share all of their happy stories with our children. It was wonderful.Well, thanks for the blog. It was one of the best I have ever seen. Very well written and heartfelt. It made us all think.Many blessings,Truth : )
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