It's been awhile since I've posted anything about my gay life so here's a current events update.
I'm about as 'out' as one can be. Strangely now, there are no issues about that sort of thing. Over all my life is very normal. The majority of my friends are from the other side of the fence and I rarely venture into the gay world. I have a few close gay friends. We tend to socialize in small groups. An occasional dinner out, a barbecue, a movie or live theatre maybe once a month. Beyond that it's all very low key.
There is one exception. I do belong to a group known as The Big Mens Club. Its a social group for big men and their admirers. We have a weekly coffee out evening and plan various events. Although I'm a member I seldom go to any of the events or even the coffee. I do keep email contact with a couple of the members and they let me know whats coming up next.
This was a long weekend here in Alberta. My options were to go to a school reunion and have a visit with my mom or stay home and work on the house. I lost the option a bit when the workmen decided they would like to get some more done through the weekend. I just feel better if I'm around when they're here.....just in case. So I stayed home. I did get an email saying the Big Mens Club were going to a Sunday brunch would I like to join. That sounded like a good idea to me. I knew it would be a small group and it would be good food and lots of laughter. (What else would you expect from the Big Men....we're jolly fat guys.)
Uncharacteristically I was about 5 minutes late. When I walked in there were five people I know and two new fellows. The remaining seat was beside one of the new fellows. To put it mildly there was electricity! Major currents moving between us instantly. That's a rare treat for me. I dont often meet someone who is so obvious about liking me and to whom I am equally attracted.
Now I'll tell you his story. He is an officer in the Canadian Navy and was on his way from his posting in Halifax (east coast) to his new posting in Victoria (west coast). He is an admirer of big men and knew about our group through internet contact so decided he would stop and meet the gang on his way through. He is totally handsome, fit, incredibly charming and French Canadian to boot so he has an enticing accent.
The group had a really enjoyable time. My friend was travelling with a companion (not lover) and they had plans for the afternoon. Not wishing to horn in and also knowing I needed to get home and oversee things I suggested some of us might like to meet later in the evening for supper. Lets' give this man a name....we'll call him Guy. Guy accepted immediately as did three others and of course his travel companion.
We met at the appointed hour and had a rather pleasant meal of Vietnamese Noodles. Throughout supper it was even more evident that Guy was interested so I quietly asked if he'd like to go for a drive later. Without hesitation he accepted.
That's when he told me his story. As gay men we tend to talk about our former relationships while we establish who is available. I am breathless at his history. In brief, his lover was killed in an auto accident about two months ago. His pain is palpable. Accompanying the loss of his lover is total rejection from the lovers' family. He was allowed to attend the funeral but the family would not give him anything even as a memento. They have made it abundantly clear that they want to completely erase any trace of the relationship these two men had. They wouldnt let him have even a key chain or an ornament!
I'm furious! Guy is having a horrific time trying to grieve his loss. He is terrified that they might have been text messaging at the time of the accident. How can people be so incredibly, unbelievably, cruelly inhuman!
Oh, before you ask, no I will not fall for him. This is no time for him to look at a new relationship. He is vulnerable and in terrible pain. Instead I will be there for him. I'll listen to him when he needs to talk. I'll visit him in Victoria now and then just to let him have a sounding board. I'll be his friend. Then perhaps someday....................?
