• day2day said on Aug 03, 2008....

  as they say " you never fully know someone".
   
  very interesting
   
  day2day

• woman said on Aug 03, 2008....

  I understand needing a private place in your soul and I suspect most of us have one. A place where we can examine any issue that needs privacy or solitude. For myself, I need this less than in the past, but the place is still there when I do.

• MissMimi said on Aug 04, 2008....

  I am exactly the opposite, woman.  I find as I get older I have a greater need for that place of privacy. 

  This is an excellent post, beyond.  I knew exactly the place you were describing.  It's the place where the real me lives. 

• emptyplaces said on Aug 04, 2008....

  as shakespeare says,
  "All the world's a stage,
  And all the men and women merely players:
  They have their exits and their entrances;
  And one man in his time plays many parts,
  His acts being seven ages. "
   
  without your secret self, your secret identity, your "essence", without awareness of the self, there is really not much going around. there are many things but without yourself, no one's gonna see the world for you.

• woman said on Aug 04, 2008....

  As I've aged, I care less and less what the world thinks. Fewer things need to be tucked away from others but there remain a few private things that I still keep to myself and need to be alone with.

• Me-Myself&I said on Aug 04, 2008....

  this is another wonderful post! your writing is beautiful. so is your mind too *smile*

  i love my privacy. the world doesn't need to know the whole me. just like i don't need to know all about you. that keeps things light and playful....lol. we all need to shield a part of us.

  have a great week! take care ~see ya

• beyondtheveil said on Aug 04, 2008....

  day2day- Isn't that the truth? Every time someone says that it comes from a place they could not enter.
  
  woman- Just as everything else, some use it more than others at different times. I had not thought of whether I needed it more now or in the past. Its so much a part of me, I may not know.
  
  mimi- For some reason, I don't know why, I had the feeling you would know this place, feel it was the real you. It had to come from your writings - I just knew you would have a special private place to depend on.
  
  empty- So true. I think what you said I put forth in my last line 'sometimes I think I am that place'. We are thinking together on this one.
  
  memyself- Oh, thank you for the compliments. I guess it can keep things light and playful, can't it?
  

• quietone said on Aug 04, 2008....

  the place you describe I call your "soul self".. the core of YOU.  I like that place in myself too.  thanks for the wonderuful post beyond.

• eurekame said on Aug 04, 2008....

  bey bey, as always your words strike through me as my own thoughts. J always told me that the reasons he left is because I did not open up all the way. I never had the words to explain why I'am this way...as you described perfectly here. Yet it seems as if I'm normal. hehe! Me normal, HA!
   
  hot dang i like this.

• crybabylu said on Aug 04, 2008....

  I have often thought that I am way to open with my thoughts and feelings, and share way too much of myself and life with others.  You make a very good point when it comes to the fact that some things should be considered private and kept to oneself.   Good post!

• beyondtheveil said on Aug 04, 2008....

  quiet- Oh my, you have even named it. And I like what you call it.
  
  eureka- My ex used to many times accuse me of not opening up. There was a reason for that - I simply didn't want her in, there was nothing there for her. We have times we can't open up within our private selves. People should understand that. The funny thing? - they have times too, but browbeat us about it.
  
  cry- If you open up a lot, its because you want to. There is nothing wrong with wishing to share thoughts and feelings, so long as we have that place in which to retreat.
  

• destinydiva said on Aug 04, 2008....

  beautifully written beyond :-)
  I so agree...  I have a private place in my mind  too and I would go insane without it... 
  but dont you find that the world and his wife still want to dig in to that sacred place?
  I have had relationships were...  if I dont share that then I dont love them? or I'm being secretive...   but you know I am learning...that yeah!!!  I am a little secretive!!   because my sacred place that belongs only to me..  is ok! is allowed!! deal with it!!!! 
  not many tend to agree with me though... how about you?  does your wife expect access to yoursecret place??
  great post beyond...  I have just been popping in and out of here recently and I am so glad I caught this post :-) xx
  
  

• Mikeyo00 said on Aug 04, 2008....

  truelly beautiful, i think you must be very in touch with things to be able to write like you do , i found my self reading that and almost wishing that i had written it myself , as it describes alot about me and most probably alot about most who read it .You have truelly captured what i would have to call the human spirit or soul right there in your passage.beautiful , absolutely beautiful.

• wishyouwerehere said on Aug 04, 2008....

  BTV - I believe this sacred space is a divine gift, the peace within that allows us to escape from the rest of the world as needed and tap into our inner resources.  You are wise to protect and preserve this aspect of yourself.  Rather than want to intrude, I think more of us need to encourage others to discover this place for themselves.  There would be a whole lot less hurt and sorrow in this world if we all learned how to access our personal divinity.

• beyondtheveil said on Aug 04, 2008....

  des- We must have that place that is us, secretive and alone. Those who want to get into yours have one of their own, bet on it. My wife lets me reveal what I want, I do the same for her. But we are still quite open with each other. We know each other well. We are each allowed that personal place.
  
  mikey- I thank you for that. I think it describes most everyone also, even those who do not realize they have that place. Welcome to my blog.
  
  wish- So well said. Thank you for coming by.
  

• CreativeWoman said on Aug 04, 2008....

  I have that private place too.  I fit in there. 
  
  Great post, beyond.
  
  CW
  

• beyondtheveil said on Aug 04, 2008....

  Thank you cw. I fit quite well in there also. 

• queenparanoia said on Aug 04, 2008....

  yes i have that place... if you read me i sometimes mention it... i call it my "bubble"... it's hard breaking it sometimes. but i do it to grow up... but sometimes i stay inside to find the real me... hope you enjoyed your bubble today... ;-)

• beyondtheveil said on Aug 04, 2008....

  queenie- I enjoy my bubble every day. Like I said, I go there often. Thanks. 

• Ordinarylife said on Aug 05, 2008....

  About a year ago, I would have agreed with you.  Involved in what I now know is the single most rewarding relationship I could have ever hoped for however; I have found the peace in realizing that there is one other person in my life of whom I can reveal everything to.  Then again, he often knows my thoughts and has said them in unison with me....from daily life, to needs and even yes, my most private and naughtiest of thoughts.
  
  I do believe that in this life, to have few close friends means that we are blessed but to have only one such friend, makes us luckier still.
  
  Excellent post and thank you for enabling me the chance to share this.
  
  Maria
  

• beyondtheveil said on Aug 05, 2008....

  maria- A few times in my life, I have talked to people (only women) who said they tell everything even their deepest secrets to another, but in all of these cases the other was another woman. If you find closeness, peace, and fullfilment in this I say good for you and you are very lucky to have this friend.
  
  Even with my best of friends, including my wife who most certainly is, I still retain my 'place'. I simply need it.
  

• Ordinarylife said on Aug 05, 2008....

  beyondtheveil: 
  
  I suppose I am very lucky then.  Not another women, bur instead the man I do intend to share the rest of my life with.  Rare, I know something like this, surely happens only once in a lifetime.
  
  Maria
  

• silverwhisper said on Aug 06, 2008....

  ah beyond...jean-paul sartre once advanced the notion that the worst fate that could befall a person was to be completely understood by someone else, and i've never quite known how i felt about that until this blog entry really forced me to think about it.
  
  the truth is that yeah, i don't want anyone, even my wife, knowing everything about me--even though she (and certain friends) have succeeded in piercing that innermost part of me. like it or not, being understood by someone else is, IMHO, an unavoidable experience.
  
  it periodically makes me uncomfortable, but in the long-run, i think that it's for the best, all things considered. :>
  
  but perhaps that's just me?
  
  ed

• beyondtheveil said on Aug 06, 2008....

  Ed- I can really only talk about me because comfort levels will vary not only with people but with different times and situations in those people's lives. Having been more introverted, my place will be a larger place than others who aren't, I would guess. I'm also a world class dreamer, a fantasizer, with a mind that drifts even when it shouldn't. I have many times been criticized for not "being with" the people around me.
  
  My 'place' isn't just large, its another world I live in part of the time. No one knows what goes on in there but me and no one ever will. As I mentioned, it isn't evil, rank, or cold, its just mine. And I need it.
  
  If I told my wife everything that goes on in there, she would still love me just the same. There are people who are grounded in reality so much they hardly need a place, then there are those who are not, they are swimming in their imagination.
  

• BEprepared said on Aug 08, 2008....

  btv,

  I'm very glad you posted this thought since it has caused me to better define my thoughts on my "private place".  As you very well stated in your last comment, this place varies in size with different people, at different times, and by different moods.  I'm thinking now, what effect does a few drinks have on it?  This is not just whether we "play our cards close to our vest" or we easily share.  One thing is these are thoughts I don't have to account for and if this was taken away could I still consider myself human or would I just be a robot where any stored knowledge could be available to anyone with the correct password. 

  My "private place" is so important to me that taking it would be almost  like taking my life.  Thanks again.

                                                                             ---Jim---

• beyondtheveil said on Aug 08, 2008....

  Jim- It is far more than 'easily sharing'. When you said a robot, I used the words a shell or machine. If I lost it, it would be like taking my life also. You are one of the ones who completely understands. 

• gingersoul said on Aug 09, 2008....

  BeyBey...Virginia Woolf used to call this space within us "a room of our own"....The title of her book, as well...
  
  Our being is made of different rooms, sections, spaces....what lies within is put on private or public mode depending by the urge we feel to share with others.
  
  Some thoughts, feelings, emotions and memories don't have to be always shared with the outside world. Its a privilege we might concede only to those specials ones.
  
  We can leave a window slightly open, a door barely close ....we can invite that special people to come over and stay or simply visit once in a while...but THAT room is our and only our room.
  I think its natural....
  
  Like Ed quoted, what a sad world would be if everybody could invade this room at any moment..
  
  Privacy  and mystery.....focus on ourselves....recharge of our spirit..
  
  Plus, how more fascinating and in the long run exciting is knowing that the people we like will never become boring to us and us to them...
  
  That room is what defines us, after all. Without it....we would live in a very cold land..with no protection...
  

• beyondtheveil said on Aug 09, 2008....

  gingergirl- Very well put (as usual). So many times people leave comments of thoughts and ideas I had not thought of for the post. You gave me one here about that place adding fascination and excitement to people. And the more I think about it, 'the place' could be from where all this springs...love the last line also. 

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