• vacantmind said on Aug 03, 2008....

  This isn't failure but a relapse. We all relapse into old behaviors because they are somewhat comforting to us even if the are self-destructive. Your counselor is right...you will want to step back into this roles when you are stressed. Hopefully, along the way you will learn that there is a more positive way to deal with your stress.

  If you are tired today...relax! Take care of yourself and listen to what your body needs. Spend some time thinking about things that would help you alleviate the stressors in your life. You may need to do some major life changes to become healthier.

  I have found, for me, that doing something creative is a great stress reliever. Even if its not that good. Its just another form of expression. Painting and photography have been great assets to me in my recovery. Yoga also helps. I also love nature and sometimes just sitting and watching the river flow provides comfort. Find those things for yourself.

• nytquill17 said on Aug 03, 2008....

  I read something once that helps me sometimes - not every time, but when it works, it's a good thought to hold on to.
  
  Take something mundane and simple that you do all the time, like brushing your teeth (or whatever fits for you).  Lets say one day you forget or decide not to brush your teeth for whatever reason.  Do you start thinking, "I'm such a stupid loser, I'm worthless, I'll never succeed, this will never work, I don't know why I even try?"  Are you a failure as a human being because you didn't brush your teeth?  No, you're just someone who forgot to brush your teeth one night.  We've probably all done it or something like it.  Shrug and tell yourself you'll do it tomorrow instead.
  
  Sometimes we get so hung up in the thought patterns of a certain behavior, we don't realize that if it were ANY other behavior we wouldn't think about it in the same way or react to it as badly.
  
  Another thought, one I came up with myself, I call it "resetting your zero."  When it comes to setting goals or making changes, we think of it as a numberline - there's negative behavior, zero or neutral, and positive.  I tend to get it in my head that the zero point is AT my goal.  My goal is where I "should" be, so that must be the neutral position.  That means that where I am now is LESS than zero.  I'm constantly in the negative, constantly failing.
  
  One day I realized that I had it wrong.  Zero is where I am now.  Zero, neutral, is doing absolutely nothing.  Making no effort.  If I change absolutely nothing in my day to day life, keep all my bad habits and take whatever is for me the easy way out, then I'm at MY zero point.  Negative is going backwards, becoming worse than I currently am.  That means EVERY small change towards my goal, even if it only lasts for a day or two, is positive.  Every good choice is a victory.  Every step forward is a success.  And even if it doesn't last, you're not losing; you're not failing.  You're just going back to your zero point.  Back to whatever neutral is for you in particular.
  
  Shrug it off.  You'll brush your teeth tomorrow, or the next day, or whenever you get around to it - and you're not some horrible monster for all of that.  Just as human as the rest of us :)
  

• pickersplock said on Aug 03, 2008....

  Okay, so don't then!
  Believe it or not, my dogs help.
  No matter how tired I am, I still have to get up and walk them everyday.
  Maybe you need a puppy, or a kitten?
  Something you can take care of, something that will bring you joy?

• RollingC said on Aug 03, 2008....

  Who the heck is si,ana,&ed ?  
  I take it that they are only in your imagination? Even though imagination can be very powerful, your inner self is much more powerfull. 
  Get a pet...like Pickers suggested...the obligations of keeping a pet are good points that will help you to keep busy and your mind off the negatives.
  Rc.
  ps...you got friends here and don't you forget that.

• I'mNotHungry said on Aug 04, 2008....

  Vacant & Nyt - thank you, as always.....

  Pickers - long time no talk!  How are you doing? 

  RollingC - SI - is self-injury, Ana - anorexia, ED - eating disorder...........  Thank you for saying i have friends here.... I feel that way, most of the time, and I value the friendship and advice/comments of the people here.  It's nice to reach out and know that others are out there.... even when I feel alone.

   

• pickersplock said on Aug 04, 2008....

  I'm doing good!  I've just been crazy busy this summer.
  It's good to check in though! :)

• RollingC said on Aug 04, 2008....

  I'mNot - I meant what I said about having friends here and also about your inner-self
                 being much more powerful than your demons/fears/habits that are
                  self-destructive.   Don't know how to explain that in just a few words but
                if you need to pm me we'll discuss it further.  My step-daughter started with
                eating disorders but it was nipped in the bud thank God and she overcame
                that self-destructive behavior.   If she did it so can you.
  :^)
  Rc
  

• silverwhisper said on Aug 06, 2008....

  you doing any better today, INH?
  
  ed

• I'mNotHungry said on Aug 06, 2008....

  Hi ed,  I am feeling a little better~ thank you for asking.  It's early morning here and mornings are much better than evenings for me.  I had an appt w/my therpaist on Mon and that helped.  I try to remind myself to take one day at a time.  Some days are good- some are bad..... some are filled w/darkness and some with light.  I have not SId in 33 days .... but my "ED" is still lurking.....as is his best pal ANA......

  Thank you so much for checking on me...it means a lot!
  H.

• silverwhisper said on Aug 06, 2008....

  i'm ever so glad you're doing better, INH. :>
  
  ed

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