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I want to help

I'mNotHungry posted on Jul 31, 2008 | views: 101 | Tags: concern, caring, friend, responsibility, friends, friendship

I think my "friend" is severely depressed.  I don't know what triggered this episode of depression - but his behavior has drastically changed in the past few months.  He has lost weight and started drinking more.... like every night - then "drunk dialing" me via text message. 

I am concerned about him.  I have talked him into seeing a professional, but I still feel like there's something I should be doing.  I don't know what that is...... My therapist tells me I'm not responsible for his actions, and he has to deal with his own *crap* just as I have to deal with mine, you have to deal with yours...... and so on and so on.....

But I still feel some responsibility.  I do care about him as a friend.  I don't know what to do.  I don't know if there is anything I can do.

 



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Comments

  • MissMimi said on Aug 01, 2008....

    There've been times when I wanted to haul a friend or a family member to a therapist's office, and force them to get help, so I sure do understand how you feel.  You've done what you can.  Your friend is responsible for his own "crap", just as I am for mine and you are for yours.  I think all you can do now is be supportive and let him know that there is help for depression, that he isn't doomed to feeling this way forever, but it takes hard work to begin to feel better, as you and I probably both know.

    All that to say, you're a good friend, I'mNot.  I hope your friend feels better soon.

  • vacantmind said on Aug 01, 2008....
    All you can be is available to listen. He has to do the work to get to a better place.
  • Mamie said on Aug 01, 2008....
    i am proud of you for paying close attention to a friend while dealing with your own struggles. Yes we all have them, but you would be surprised how many people cannot stop looking at just their own problems...just be a friend like you are...don't worry about what the outcome is, just be there. that is a gift beyond measure. xo, m
  • Jenna said on Aug 01, 2008....
    ditto what everyone else said sweetie.  all you can do is be there for him.  No one can get better until they themselves want to get better.  take care of you!
  • RollingC said on Aug 01, 2008....
    You're doing everything you can I'mnot... you can't do any more and just keep letting him/her know that you'll be there for them. 
    You are a good friend.
    Rc
  • silverwhisper said on Aug 01, 2008....
    INH, do you know any of your friend's other friends? because i'm thinking that something has gone drastically wrong with your friend.

    i think the course of action i would endorse here is get most of the mutual friends to ask about what's going on, and have one friend avoid that message as a "safe haven" for your friend, myself: simple carrot & stick, you know?

    ed

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