Oh, here it comes....depression strikes again. I am having a hard time right now. My life is great and I should be happy, but that darn depression just keeps showing up for no reason at all.

I can feel each day it's getting worse. I know what is coming. The desire to do anything is fading faster and faster. I keep beating myself up about everything and start to hate who I've become. I know deep down that it is just the depression talking, but it doesn't change those feelings.

I don't have situational depression, it is clinical, a chemical imbalance in my brain. I hate how that sounds. It sounds like I'm crazy. In a way maybe I am....

My husband does not understand it at all. He has never felt it. He thinks the way most people without depression think, that I can just think of all the good things around me and "snap" out of it. He thinks I choose to look at all the bad stuff around me instead of the good. That just isn't true. I know all of the things that I'm blessed with and I truly am grateful. When he says that to me, it actually makes me feel worse. Because then I start beating myself up about how horrible I am to feel so depressed when I should be so happy to have all that I have. Does that make sense?

I just wish he understood me more when it comes to that. Sometimes I just need to talk to someone and it's hard to do that when that someone thinks I'm just being negative and doesn't understand what I'm really going through.