I have not posted in a while. Some things have changed a lot in my life. I have realized that I am taking life for granted. I have been so caught up in myself that I have forgotten that I am a child of God. I have realized that I got so used to the motions of life that I began to disregard my own personal convictions. I have been an absolute disgrace to the title "Christian". I have been doing things that I now realize are wrong and feel so much guilt over. I do not know how and am in awe that despite the bad things I do in life, God chose me to be His child. He sent his son Jesus to die for me on the cross over two thousand years ago. With all that God has done for me I do not deserve the grace that He has shown me in life. It just makes me laugh at the fact that I am in such a deep hole. I put myself here.

Where do I go from here? I know I do not deserve to claim the title of a "Christian" woman because I have fallen from grace in these past few months since I last posted on here. It makes me laugh when I read through my previous blogs. Meaningless, meaningless, they are all meaningless. Especially one in particular which I have chosen to delete. Life is utterly meaningless if I am not walking in the grace and light of my lord and savior Jesus Christ!