While you ponder what you want to do next
I trail behind waiting for you to decide
My eagerness for this to end
I can no longer hide
I am restless and hurting
And I swear you are amused
You know exactly what you do to me
And yet I still say I’m confused
Truth is I’m not confused at all
It’s all abundantly clear
There’s nothing left between you and I
But it’s the acting upon it that I fear
I am scared of your reaction
When you realize my love is gone
I fear your vindictiveness
When I tell you that you are wrong
You thought I’d stay forever
You thought I’d forget and forgive
You thought you could do anything
And I’d be here as long as I lived.
My strength fails me each time I try
I open my mouth to speak
My words prepared and practiced
“I’m done and I want you to leave”
Then I buckle and I turn away
So scared to hurt you
Even though you hurt me constantly
I don’t know what to do
I am scared you’ll leave me hanging here
Run away and skip town
Then I’ll have that on my conscious forever
How my daughter’s father isn’t around
I’m scared you’ll try and take all I have
I’m scared you’ll try and ruin me
But mostly I’m scared of staying with you
That would be worse you see
Because if I stay and waste my life
On someone whose like you
Then I’ll have cheated myself and my child
So it’s something I’ll have to do
Lord send me strength when I need it most
And that time is coming now
Like someone advised me I have to lose dead weight
Before it causes me to drown.
I trail behind waiting for you to decide
My eagerness for this to end
I can no longer hide
I am restless and hurting
And I swear you are amused
You know exactly what you do to me
And yet I still say I’m confused
Truth is I’m not confused at all
It’s all abundantly clear
There’s nothing left between you and I
But it’s the acting upon it that I fear
I am scared of your reaction
When you realize my love is gone
I fear your vindictiveness
When I tell you that you are wrong
You thought I’d stay forever
You thought I’d forget and forgive
You thought you could do anything
And I’d be here as long as I lived.
My strength fails me each time I try
I open my mouth to speak
My words prepared and practiced
“I’m done and I want you to leave”
Then I buckle and I turn away
So scared to hurt you
Even though you hurt me constantly
I don’t know what to do
I am scared you’ll leave me hanging here
Run away and skip town
Then I’ll have that on my conscious forever
How my daughter’s father isn’t around
I’m scared you’ll try and take all I have
I’m scared you’ll try and ruin me
But mostly I’m scared of staying with you
That would be worse you see
Because if I stay and waste my life
On someone whose like you
Then I’ll have cheated myself and my child
So it’s something I’ll have to do
Lord send me strength when I need it most
And that time is coming now
Like someone advised me I have to lose dead weight
Before it causes me to drown.
