I hate being bored. I think I can handle just about every other mood there is except boredom. Work was really slow this afternoon, and my usual people I talk to online weren't around. Everyone was busy or gone. I hate that. Because it always seems like I'm the only one who never has anything to do.
I decided to go home early since I was done anyway. Might as well be bored at home right? I actually did dishes, started laundry and cleaned the bathroom--just to have something to do! That never happens. I'm a slob. So if I'm cleaning, that's desperation for you.
I'm not very good at the whole cleaning toilets thing either. It's gross. I know it's not like a public toilet and I have no idea whose ass has been on it or what they'd deposited in there. But it's still nasty. I'm squeamish about sticking my hand in a toilet. We've got rubber gloves, but just the concept grosses me out.
Of course since I'm completely inept at life in general, I was holding onto the rim with one hand and I tried to push myself up off my knees to stand. It was slippery and my hand slipped off and jammed right in the toilet and it splashed all over me. Just kill me. It was already clean at this point, but still. It was TOILET water.
I got myself cleaned up though and squirted hand sanitizer on my hands and rubbed it all over my face after I washed it. Just in case. And then I was sitting down for a minute (not on the toilet) and decided to get a piece of gum off my desk. I'm such a space case, I opened it up and threw the gum in the trash can and put the wrapper in my mouth.
That was brilliant of me. I'm always doing stupid shit like that. Like the time I put the cereal in the fridge and the milk in the cabinet. It's just been one of those days. I have no concentration.
Something sort of funny happened earlier today at work though. It's probably one of those things where you had to be there. But I'll tell it anyway.
There is this one guy I work with and I don't know what he was doing. Chewing on a marker? Fiddling around with it? Whatever he did, he'd gotten a big black mark right under his nose. He looked like Hitler. And he had no idea he'd done it. He's just sitting there working with his Hitler mustache.
This other guy comes over to me and tells me to go look at him. So I walked past and saw this and tried not to laugh. And everyone else was walking by his desk doing the same thing. He was starting to get annoyed with us. So I did that Nazi salute thing and said, "heil Hitler!" and busted up laughing. He had no idea what I was talking about and just assumed I was a total dipshit.
And he told me to go away and stop being a dork. And why was everyone staring at him and laughing? That's when we finally had to tell him about the black mark. One of the girls gave him a mirror and he was pretty pissed that it took us 30 minutes to tell him about it. But it wouldn't have been funny if we told him right away! It was more fun walking past his desk and suppressing the laughter.
I was just glad it wasn't me for a change who did something dumb that everyone was laughing at. At least that they knew of. No one knew I ate a gum wrapper or splashed myself with toilet water later on. And they'll never know that. Unless they read this. Which I hope won't happen.
Anyway, I've been passing my boredom time as best I can. But I'm tired of cleaning. And eating gum wrappers. So I figured I'd write. Only another hour or so until Nat gets home. But that's going to feel like forever.
Am I the only person who needs constant entertainment, companionship or stimulation? I think there must be something wrong with me. I'd make a terrible hermit because I'd go insane after the first hour of living in my secluded cave.
I'm really not sure how i ever lived alone. I used to. I lived alone for a few years. But I do remember it sucking quite a lot. And I remember one of the reasons I joined SC was because if I didn't find someone to talk to soon, I was going to jump off a building just so the paramedics could come and I could talk to them. Assuming I wasn't splatted on the street and dead. But hypothetically let's just say I was ready to jump off a very tiny building into a pile of feathers, and survive.
Do you see where my brain goes at times like this? It wanders. And I get a little crazy. But some people like that about me. In fact one of the best compliments I've gotten recently was someone told me they loved my brain. I always thought my brain was somewhat damaged, but they loved it. And they enjoy just listening to me talk forever about all my crazy ideas that make no sense, and they never get bored.
That's a good friend to have. At least if you're me. Because I talk a lot. And my brain never shuts off, so it's nice to know there are people out there who will listen to me. Except for today. No one is around. And that's why it sucks. So I'm just talking here. And maybe someone is around? It doesn't seem likely these days because it's so quiet here.
Anyway that's it. I forgot the entire reason why I wanted to write this in the first place. It might not make much sense. So I'll just stop now.
evil_twin posted on Jul 25, 2008
| views: 397
Comments
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Lucytorial said on Jul 25, 2008....
Have you inhaled yet???? you sound like you're gonna turn blue buddy! *-}You have just reminded me of a story I shall post about toilets... thereis nothing worse than toilet water be it clean or not yuk! but still its funny.... -
secretlife said on Jul 25, 2008....
lol! ok have you met dailyachesandpains? you two have something in common when it comes to things that gross you out.....i hate being bored too, but as i've gotten older, and since the kids keep me hopping most of the time, i've come to appreciate some peace and quiet with nothing to do- in fact, tonite's one of those nights where everyone is home, and i'm going to flick the channels on the television if my husband will let me! -
Mr_Box said on Jul 25, 2008....
Wow. For someone who had nothing to say you sure said a lot here didn't you?ÂIt's definitely not my favorite activity to clean a toilet either. But since you read about my last weekend, I'll gladly clean a slightly used toilet rather than puke and blood.You've got it easy, pal. ;-)I know you hate being bored though. I do too. But I guess not everyone can be entertained all the time. You sound like you made due somehow..... -
wombat said on Jul 25, 2008....
I am around, and just wrote a post about my boredom so to speak... and now I am not bored! I love your posts like I love my cheesecake.....The guy with the Hitler mustache just made me laugh out loud for the first time today. And I needed that!Cleaning the toilet is not my favorite chore, either, but hearing you talk about it makes it more fun now....I do things like that all the time--backwards. (the gum thing) You are not alone there. Hope your lady gets home soon and ends your day's boredom. Tell her I said hello, please. -
evil_twin said on Jul 25, 2008....
Lucy--I sort of inhaled now so hopefully I don't turn blue now :-P I told you I talk a lot!
secret--I actually thought of Daily when I was writing the toilet thing :-P I'm sure she would have been just as horrified as me to get toilet water on her face! I guess someday when my life is crazy with kids running around, I'll enjoy the boredom. But right now, it sucks.
Mr. Box--I got into a talkative mood and I couldn't stop. I do have it easy compared to you. If someone barfed and bled all over my bathroom, I'd probably just have to move if it was up to me to clean it :-P
wombat--I'm glad I helped you laugh and not be bored! Woo-hoo! Nat got home about an hour ago, so I'm not really bored anymore. She's here and we just ate pizza :-) I will tell her you said hello though.
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botoni said on Jul 25, 2008....
Seems that toilet bowls are the topic du jour today. Bored or not Kyle, you always manage to make me grin. Your 'Heil Hitler' routine cracked me up. -
evil_twin said on Jul 25, 2008....
botoni--I think I started the toilet topic trend! What a topic huh? :-P I'm really glad you enjoyed this. It was all over the place, but I'm happy it had some entertainment value! -
quietone said on Jul 25, 2008....
LOL kyle, you always find a way to crack me up. I also think you are quite entertaining and think I would enjoy listening to your funny stories too. -
skald said on Jul 26, 2008....
I think you will always find something to do and not get bored. I hate doing nothing too and I was getting bored when I could not do a thing because of my illness.
Good for you doing the cleaning.
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Me-Myself&I said on Jul 26, 2008....
i want you to know i laugh out loud reading this. you ain't right! in a very good way! *smile* the hitler part was cute but you got me when you were talking about the toilet thingie.... -
Me-Myself&I said on Jul 26, 2008....
soulcast ate the rest of my comment.....for the rest of the story.been there and done that. your gum thingie told me just how upset you were by the "splash". lol. (hug) that's for being a silly special person! thank you for the great read again! take care ~see ya -
CreativeWoman said on Jul 26, 2008....
You are so funny! I truly laughed out loud as I was reading about you slipping into the toilet. I can identify with how it grosses you out. I'm much the same way. Your stories about life are not boring at all. :-)
CW
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evil_twin said on Jul 26, 2008....
quietone--Thank you :-) I'm so glad you find me entertaining! That makes me happy.
skald--It is hard when you're not feeling good and you have to stay still and not do anything. I'm terrible at that. I do try and find something to occupy me, because I can't stand having nothing to do at all.
Me-Myself--Thank you :-) I know I've got an overabundance of lunacy in my brain, but I'm glad you enjoy reading about it! I'm glad I could make you laugh.
CW--Thank you :-) I'm so glad I can make you laugh. I try to find the humor in everything, even sticking my hand in a toilet!
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RollingC said on Jul 26, 2008....
This is a funny post...thanks for sharing and no, you're not the only one that does things like that. At least you got bored and did the absent-minded behaviour at home and not at work. LOL.I remember once when I was night manager at Lum's Restaurant....the original one on 41st in N.Miami Beach....it was a small place and at night business was slow so I took a coke bottle for myself after a customer left and the place was empty (very small nook of a restaurant with limited menu but it began a franchise empire in it's day). I picked up the quarter tip and placing the bottle cap in my pocket, threw the tip in the trash.Or the night when I was visiting (on my day off) as we were all going out drinking after closing (at another location) and in the cleaning process I accidently elbowed the entire night deposit into the trash and nobody noticed until later. Let me tell you we had lots of fun looking for that deposit (and finally found it...later I wound up having to pay for the drinks because of that).We all have our little fumbling stories to tell. LOL:^)Rc -
queenparanoia said on Jul 26, 2008....
bwahahahahhahahha dude you are so funny!!! ;-) -
uniquely-ironic said on Jul 26, 2008....
ROFL You're not alone. I was wondering where everyone was yesterday too, but I ended up net surfing.The way you think is a lot like my daughter. I know this, because she is always talking ...... to me ........ whether I'm listening or not ....... or even awake. -
destinydiva said on Jul 26, 2008....
lol kyle!! even your 'bored' days are entertaining to read :-)
yak do you have to stick your hand down to clean the toilet?? you need to invest in a toilet brush! (a long one) :-) I just swill it twice a day with toilet cleaner and get the toilet brush out if someone leaves something nasty stuck to the sides :-) xx
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notmyintention said on Jul 27, 2008....
i laughed out loud reading this. thank you. i REALLY needed that today. -
evil_twin said on Jul 27, 2008....
RollingC--I'm glad I'm not the only one who does absent minded things like that! That would have been really bad if you threw away the night deposits and didn't realize what happened. Yikes!
queen--Thank you :-)
uniquely--I'm sure my mom was glad when I moved out so I didn't have to talk her ear off all day long too! :-P Now I just subject everyone else to my ramblings instead. I guess some of us are just incredibly hyper and talkative and don't have a mute button!
destiny--We had a toilet brush. It used to sit in this special toilet brush holder and you could just swish it around whenever. But it got moldy and we threw it away and never got a new one. Plus, it never seemed to work that good on the hard water stains. But usually Nat does toilet duty and she doesn't seem to mind that much. I was just being helpful and productive! :-P
notmyintention--I'm glad I gave you a much needed laugh :-)
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RollingC said on Jul 27, 2008....
Hey....read my blog on Frugality & Vinegar. Try it on your toilet next time and maybe that will be a work saver... :^)Rc -
tizzygirl said on Jul 29, 2008....
Well I'm late reading all this stuff but it was pretty funny. I hate cleaning toilets too. I refuse to stick my hand in even when gloved! I'll scrub with things on the end of a stick if I have to. I have splashed it into my face before too. It was the end of the world I swear. I had to go through the list of diseases to be prepared for when it happened....I didn't catch anything of course but I had to be prepared ya know? The gum thing is soooo something I do all the time!!! I can't tell you how any gum wrappers I've chewed! And the hitler thing is funny....although I feel the guys pain. I somehow get pen on my face all the time! But normally I catch it before anyone sees me with it! It looks like you entertained yourself pretty well on your own. Next time you are bored you are more than welcome to come do my dishes and clean my toilet...both things I loath. I wish people would do that at my house when they are bored! -
silverwhisper said on Jul 29, 2008....
dude, i'm always doing stupid crap like chewing the wrapper & throwing the gum in the garbage--i totally identify! :D
ed
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