oh i think this is the best journal one can keep. online, and annonomous.wow. people read it, but i still don't have any fear of someone reading it. you know why? cause they don't know it is me :)

let me start:

25th july;08'

so then, i thought i was definately goin to talk about it to my friends. its killing me from the inside. everything. i can't hold it any longer. should i keep it to myself with the pain or risk the anger etc, and tell?maybe i should keep it to myself. i mean i don't want to ruin my friendship. and you know what? my ego. yeah its kind of grown on to me.its like a leech. it won't allow youto do what you should do. instead it gets in your way and makes decisions to be made much more more difficult.what do i do?ego vs heart.all this time its my ego  that has won hands down. but i cannot let that happen.no. my heart bleeds' pains and suffers. isn't that enough of suffering for my heart?i should leave the ego aside. trust me i am trying to. very hard. but i cannot. its a lot i have. maybe its like a drug. you think its awsome when you have it or need it; but when some sence is knocked in your brain. you finally realise its caused you more harm than good. i think that is what has led me to thid depressive state i have reached.come on go away. i am staarting to think that i don't need you. but io am scared to let it go. i mean what if  that was the only thing i had?what if i am better with it?shit. i hate ego.it shatters you when you think you're high up,you just reaalise your ego had created false hopes and illusions of being in my way. please leave me alone!you're illing me!help!

-still egoistic:(