Suddendly I woke up standing in the middle of the floor with the weidest feeling, today was the day. In all the books they tell you you will "have a show". so where were the dancing girls, the disco ball and the sparkly sequins....all i felt was sick and scared.
I found a clock and checked the contractions, they were 5 minutes apart, so I phoned the midwife and she said I better phone the hospital and get up there, so I called them and off I went, it was only a 5 minue walk up the hill , the sun was up the air was fresh, but it was going to be a hot day... and by the end I would have a baby!
I got to the hospital and did all the paperwork and got checkd over, the contractions were 4 minutes apart so I phoned my sister and my mum, my sister drove over straight away and my mum said she would be there as soon as she could (i had forgiven her for her racist remark), although she was about 7 hours drive away.
and I waited, and waited, and then they got to 3 minutes apart....action i thought, 20 hours later I was still there, 27 hours later, my mum had been and gone to a hotel to sleep and finally the baby arrived... "a beautifu;l baby girl" they said, I took one look at her, she had pooed and was covered in shit... ergh take her away was my response, they took her to clean her up ,,,,, and then nature took over , she made the smallest noise and my whole body reacted, "BRING HER BACK, PLEASE" I FELT THIS HEART WRENCHING NEED TO HOLD HER , TO HAVE HER IN MY ARMS TO GAZE INTO HER EYES.
the minutes they took to clean her up and sort out her airways were the longest of my life, and then there she was,,, a person,my baby, our baby, in my arms..... she was beautiful, blue blue eys, blonde hair, not a mark on her and she had cheekbones! but oh she was small, 5lbs 11oz and 21 inches, she was covered in fluff and looked like a baby rabbit.
My parents and my sister came to visit, then my nephew, and then I went to the phone to call him to tell him he was a father, that together we had made the most wonderful thing, made form love and laughter and sunshine and happiness, I felt that I would burst with emotion and happiness...I dialed the number , I heard it ring and then it stopped, "hello " i said, "its me , we have a little girl",and then I heard a voice say "Hes not interested any more, we are together, he doesnt want to know about your baby, its nothing to do with him, its yours, we are having our own baby" and the phone went dead. I felt the room spin,
