i opened up a PM i rec'd and the sender (someone i know, b/c i never read unsolicited PMs from people i don't know) wished me a happy friday.
and i seriously had to check my computer's clock to verify that it was, indeed, friday. i was trying to figure out why when watching weather channel last night (i missed part of the local update) they skipped so quickly to the friday night forecast!
i haven't had an experience like that in a long time, when i went all week thinking there was more to the week than there was. but i think part of what's messing me up is that along with the change to the new department, about which i wrote the other day, my hours also changed. the practical upshot is that i have less time to hang out on SC in the mornings, which is largely the only time i really do these days, with the odd exception.
the entire thing has me thinking about the passage of time and for the first time in months, about a new installment in this series. so here we are. :>
but getting back to the passage of time—here’s an example:
so yesterday, i'm at work, trying to figure out how to do something (i'm really frustrated with how slowly i'm picking stuff up) when i feel my phone buzzing—i keep it set on silent mode when at work—so i check. it's a text from one of my closest friends, someone i met at my previous online home.
i was initially mildly annoyed, b/c i don't text & hence have no text plan. my friends who have my phone# know this.
but my irritating passed quickly upon reading it. the text was spartan in its brevity: one of my online buddies from that place showed up again! it's been literally years (four?) since any of us had news of him, e-mails to him went unanswered, and the consensus view was that he'd simply given up on that place & changed e-mail.
what's funny is that since the last time he was there, the site moved to a different host, and he was the last person from the old site to make the transition. well, there's one more, but honestly, a few of us tried to track him down and because he had serious health issues at the time, those of us who knew him outside of that place have reluctantly concluded that he's no longer with us.
it's funny, the passage of time. around now is the ten year anniversary of my first joining any online community. so much has changed, both within myself and outside of myself.
this in turn got me thinking about who and where i was ten years ago.
ten years ago, i had been downsized out of a decent job, something i'd been doing for a while and was pretty good at, but the product was canceled and there was no place to reshuffle me. i'd gotten married only several months earlier and was trying to find a new job.
(i ultimately wound up accepting an offer on my birthday that year, a position that led to my leaving the area in which i was born & raised into somewhere different and new. but that’s a tale for another day.)
ten years ago this year, people were freaking out about the coming Y2K problem and my mother was already stockpiling non-perishable food.
and ten years ago this year, i was young enough that i still thought that innocence & idealism were enough to see me through the day. i know, it takes some of us a little longer to twig to that than others.
in some ways i sometimes resent the passage of time. it’s a silly reaction, and ultimately a fear of change. and i know perfectly well that’s what it is—yet when things are going well, i suppose it’s only natural to fear change because when things are going well, you don’t really have any guarantees that things will continue to go well when things do change.
i try to manage the passage of time, i’m realizing, by appreciating what is good and looking with optimism to what the future holds. because when you come right down to it, there really are no guarantees in life, the old saying about death & taxes notwithstanding.
but if you aren’t open to the possibility that change can be good, will you ever see it when it is?
me, i don’t think so.
what about you?
so even though something woke me at around 3 am today, am i making any sense? or am i just way too tired to be allowed near a keyboard? has experience taught you that change is always to be feared, or embraced? or has it taught you something else entirely? comment and let me know.
ed
silverwhisper posted on Jul 25, 2008
| views: 298
Comments
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Alyss said on Jul 25, 2008....
The passage of time is a curious beast as sometimes it is terminally slow and others the velocity is so great that you can barely catch your breath. Change whether slow or fast paced is often painful and many try to resist it. I know, I've done so myself but ultimately change is what helps us grow as individuals.
1998 wasn't a good year for me all things considered and 2008 has been described as being 'a horrible year for me' by someone who knows me but I have hope that it'll be on an upturn soon.
And I was pleased to see his return also. ;-)
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beyondtheveil said on Jul 25, 2008....
Ed- Change has taught me it is imminent, meaning nothing stays the same. Change is nature, it is life. The thought of change sometimes bothers me, as we can coast long periods in the goodness of life, only for the next day to bring tragedy.
Change is time, time is change, and it moves more quickly as we grow older which makes me worry more, but at the same time, appreciate more.
Its good to see you back, writing like this. But I'm concerned your participation here has somehow changed. Tell me that's not so.
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tbs230 said on Jul 25, 2008....
Its funny you should mention time. I was just having a conversation with an aunt who was wondering why I was fast asleep at six in the evening. I told her that I was working hard...when if I had thought before I'd spoken I would have realized that's not necessarily true. For example, if I was hard at work, I wouldn't be on SC right now.My aunt is a nurse, and therefore her idea of hard work includes some manual labor or something altogether different than what I mean it to be.The point to this story...and there is a point...is that just like everything else, time is relevant.There are some times that I wish had lasted longer, and there are others that are still too recent for my liking. -
quietone said on Jul 25, 2008....
Change starts occurring the moment you are born, no even as you are concieved. You change, the world changes too. I can't think of anything that does not change with time. Although the older we get, the more we dislike "change" I accept it and find new things it brings into my life. So without saying anymore I do embrace it. As far as "time" when one works 3rd shift for so long... some days I just get lost altogether, but its all good. :) -
eurekame said on Jul 25, 2008....
I love change, and time passing. It means I'm still living. So therfore I live my life blissfully unaware, and know that things will happen for a reason. I accept this...and watch it come together in awe. Seeing my transformation puts me anticipation mode of what can come next....bring it on! -
the_infernal_optimist said on Jul 25, 2008....
I tend to embrace change and allow myself to ride the current. Otherwise, I think I'd be pretty uptight and stressed all the time, because big changes keep happening whether I'd will them to or no.
And sometimes it seems like stability and sameness is safer, certainly. But too much stability, and you risk stagnation and becoming unable to change within in order to respond to changes around you, you know?
Since we don't know what the future holds, we might as well assume that there will be good things in there somewhere, and smile as we walk forward. :)
~Infernal
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mOOn_platOOn said on Jul 25, 2008....
Is there a "now?" Or is everything past and future?
"Now" seems to be a convenient illusion.
Perhaps it would be better to call the present "Here."
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CreativeWoman said on Jul 25, 2008....
I'm striving to be more "in this moment" as far as time is concerned. I've lived my life too much in longing for what I've missed or holding back until something happens in the future that will make it all ok. I'm looking for balance..
CW
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woman said on Jul 25, 2008....
The passing of time is frequently on my mind. I feel it rushing past me. Sometimes it pleasantly ruffles my hair and kisses my cheek. Sometimes it knocks me over with it's force and leaves me breathless and confused. Sometimes it is my friend and brings me changes that enrich my life and give me pleasure. Sometimes it is my arch enemy, stealing things I have treasured and threatens to steal more. And always. Always. I hear it ticking, measuring my life. -
Lucytorial said on Jul 25, 2008....
1998 was a year of great change and challenge for me. I do believe back then I was very naive and unwilling to see the world as a bad place... oddly enough this got me through all of the changes that needed to take place.What I take from that period as far as time goes is that in hindsight some of it passed very quickly, other times I see in my minds memory the second hand of a clock moving two clicks forward and four back?? if it makes sense.10 Years ago I neer would have believed I would be where I am and who I have become now, this is a part of time I adore.Fear of change can help in some instances, it makes us alert, however there are time when that fear holds us back and changes the direction of our lives, we can only measure thse changes with time though. -
evil_twin said on Jul 25, 2008....
I'm the type of person who is horrible with change. Even good changes. Because I like things to be familiar in my life. I tend not to think about the future at all. In fact that's something I've been discussing with several people lately. I'm a horrible planner and never think ahead, and prefer to just live every day of my life in the moment. I fear the unknown so I just don't think about it. One day at a time. That's how I have to live. But I think I should change a little eventually....
-evil_twin LA
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RollingC said on Jul 25, 2008....
Interesting....as I've gotten older I both hate and embrace change. I know it brings a new facet into my life but I hate to let go, which is something I have to deal with if I want to grow, adapt and evolve, which involves change.....evolving into what I may wish or want to become. It's not that easy to explain.Change is good...usually.Rc -
idesire2 said on Jul 26, 2008....
change is hard to accept when i have so long felt the safety of routine and my rituals of daily life.....
change can break the cycle of monotiny.....however u spell that word..
change is challenge yourself with new activities .....or new friends......
so many possibilities...
idesire2
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scipio said on Jul 26, 2008....
Change is the only thing that is constant. Time and tides wait for no one. These sayings have stood the solid test of time. They were true then and they are true now. Depends on whether you want to change and move with the times or just stand aside and take life as it comes. -
SensualGirl said on Jul 27, 2008....
Ed, all I can add or say is that Time at this point of my life is my best friend and worst enemy all in one. Time has brought me to this wonderful phase I am going through and time is also stealing my youth from me every single second, and there is NOTHING I can do about it.I can only embrace this time for what it is right now, for tomorrow everything may be different.~Sensual Girl~ -
fearing said on Jul 27, 2008....
Ed, good post. I've always, always had difficulty with change. Good or bad - it doesn't matter - both are tough for me. Time moving forward so quickly? just sucks.
:-)
happy Monday.
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silverwhisper said on Jul 28, 2008....
alyss: ah, an annus horribilis as HRM might say? yes, one might indeed say that--but you know it's always darkest before the dawn, my friend. and i knew you would be happy to see him, too. :>
beyond: as you can see, i view the passage of time in much the same way as you do. i'll confess i haven't had much time in the past year or so to write these as frequently as i once did--for a while i was pumping these out on a daily or mostly-daily basis but at the time i had the luxury of 1 hour every morning & evening to write them, and 2 hours/day is hard to find nowadays. as to the mode of my participation, are you referring to the frequency, which is dictated by my job, or to something else?
tbs: yeah, i can imagine how your aunt might have a very different thing in mind, but for each of us, "working hard" often means something very specific depending upon our perspective, i suppose, huh? er...did you mean to say "relevant" or did you perhaps mean "relative"?
quietone: you know, i don't think i knew you were a night owl! but yes, change is, perversely, a constant, isn't it? :>
eurakame: hi, welcome to my blog and thanks for visiting! i like your positive attitude--very cool. :>
infernal: ah, how quintessentially you that comment is! :D something you mention in your comment i want to touch on: sameness/stagnation--i have a dread of stagnation. as a writer, albeit a blocked one, i find myself always wanting to push myself into new areas, not rely on the same things in my writing. i think that's part of why i haven't written much erotica lately: i don't generally feel i'm pushing myself there and getting good results, you know?
moon platoon: well, now is an intrinsically subjective statement and hence devoid of inherent meaning without context, like all such words. so yes, i agree that now is an illusion. perhaps time is simply the highway mile markers as we zoom through life?
CW: and i think that balance is the key, something we all seek either consciously or otherwise, for which i'm glad. :>
woman: that was beautifully stated, and i agree with you on that in every particular.
tobi-lee: i'm curious about what made that year so difficult for you--if you're feeling up to writing about it some time, i'd be interested in reading. i agree that fear isn't always a bad thing: sometimes, a bit of caution is certainly advisable.
kyle: you know, you're gonna find that planning becomes an inevitable part of life, i'm afraid. i'm not exactly a good planner, myself, but i've had to adapt: when you let someone else set the timetable, you grant them a lot of control, i've learned sadly.
rollingc: no, it isn't easy to explain, but i think i understood you all the same. :>
idesire2: see, i like to try to view change as you do, with the positive focus on possibilities. :>
scipio: long time no see! yes, those sayings certainly never lose their accuracy, do they? and you note--correctly, i think--that it depends on how we choose to view these things that shape them for us.
SG: well, the odds are good i think that the odds of everything being different tomorrow is low--that suggests a highly more chaotic universe than i think i've witnessed to date. "gather ye rosebuds while ye may" says the old poem, no?
fearing: happy monday! i've had trouble w/ change--like everyone, i suspect--but i've been trying to keep the right attitude about it, you know? speaking of moving forward so quickly, i can't believe july is almost gone already!
ed -
fearing said on Jul 28, 2008....
What?????!!!!
It's July?
JULY!!!
What happened to June?
{starts crying and runs away}
;-)
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silverwhisper said on Jul 28, 2008....
[trout-smack!]
ed -
fearing said on Jul 28, 2008....
I love a good trout smack now and again. -
beyondtheveil said on Jul 28, 2008....
Ed- I'm talking about frequency which I know is dictated by your job, and the series too. I'm just hoping you can find a way to slip in more often. I know your commenting pace is missed by many more than me. -
the_infernal_optimist said on Jul 28, 2008....
I totally get that about writing, silver printmaker. :) Better almost to not write anything new for a while than to write something that doesn't really take you anywhere except through the same circles you've been traveling. My poetry is pretty well frozen, for much the same reasons. I'd rather hibernate than stagnate, if that makes sense.
~Infernal
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silverwhisper said on Jul 29, 2008....
fearing: o good! [trout-smacks fearing again]
beyond: ah...well, the commenting pace will never again be like it once was, i'm afraid, although frankly, i really doubt many people miss it. i often felt like commenting that way might stifle conversation, to be honest.
infernal: actually: yes, that makes perfect sense. and yet, at the same time, you and i both know that's wrong. :>
ed -
Lucytorial said on Jul 29, 2008....
I have before but its a good thought to write of again, I never really went into that year itself just a general overview. -
silverwhisper said on Jul 29, 2008....
well, if you write it, i and others will read it. :>
ed
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