I had this dream, nightmare, whatever, about the apocalypse. It's not like how I imagine a real apocalypse at all, we were all out on the streets, everyone was kind of in this huge barbecue. And suddenly, these balls of fire, like meteors or something, were falling from the sky for a bit. And I was sitting with a man who was supposed to be my father, in this dream I was actually somewhat middle eastern / american / european / jewish somehow. It was weird. But, he was laying out on a carpet and I was like "that's a bad idea!" and rolled him off it just before it caught on fire. there was this large pool that a lot of us went into as we watched fire invade the sky around us, but i got out and started heading to this like, huge building. It's very similar to this huge building I have re-occurring dreams about. everyone is climbing up this mountain, that the building is built in, theres something just beyond it i think, and i think my ex is always way ahead of me and unattainable. but its getting to high and steep so im scared and i go back down and into this building. But I have to run through this main lobby that looks a lot like a hospital and a place of science rolled into one. And I jump into this high-tech elevator just before it closes and ride up with some chick from middle school. i get to this high up floor, which scares the shit out of me, and its like an old communications tower floor. i go into this strange closet-like room where theres a bunch of kids i know from school camping out, waiting for the apocalypse to be over. we're in their playing with all types of radio-like equipment and i realize for some reason that i need to get back home. and this girl i knew from school offers me a ride, we have to get there before the destruction gets worse, but i realize i forgot my cell phone on the hill. so another friend i know from my trailer park gives me this weird invention he was playing with that makes you see everything clearly and hunts down other pieces of technology. so i take it and we go to the elevator, but every time we press a button, it takes us somewhere other than where we want to go. its extremely frustrating, so we get off at this ridiculous floor and climb out of a window to get onto the mountain part. im searching everywhere all around this mound of earth for my cell phone, i think its because my ex was going to call me. and the friend who was gonna give me a ride is like "come on! i need to GO!" and i was like "ok, just let me look for two seconds more!" and shes like "i need to go i cant wait for you!" and i say "ok you head back down i'll meet you!" so she leaves and i keep searching for this damn phone with this weird invention, all around this flat part on the mountain where theres a group of people i know sitting around.

and then my real phone in the real world rings, and i wake up and my friend asks me if im with my ex because she just saw him pass a street by my house.
which is when i called him and he stopped by for a few.
which is when i asked him if its really over.
which i didnt realize until just now that i said to him, "you know, its not the end of the world, so i just have to find out how to get over it"

really fucking weird.

maybe in this dream, the building is fear and confusion, and im trying to get through it to climb over this mountain (hence getting over it?) and my ex is always too many steps ahead for me, but then whats me forgetting my phone? perhaps its because my phone was about to ring with the call that would eventually lead to my ex coming over and finding all this out.

idk i have to leave now, maybe i'll edit this later and analyze more.

[EDIT:]

perhaps my ex being head of me and unattainable symbolizes how he seems to be getting over all this far easier and more quickly than i am. my turning around and going through the building instead may symbolize how my fear of losing him is causing me to plunge deeper into my own fear and confusion

come back later