To say that you've forgiven someone means that you should have forgotten the offense. But forgetting about the offense AND the offender doesn't necessarily mean forgiveness. Right?
I'm sorry if I made it complicated for you. I am a complicated person, and sometimes, I can't even understand myself. I find it easy to forget about an offense, but I find it hard to forgive. I am not bitter though. I don't dwell on past issues anymore. I don't speak ill of people who have offended me. If the situations have suddenly been brought up in conversations, I just choose not to talk about them. I just totally forget about them and let time heal the wounds until I'm ready to face them again without moving myself to tears.
So, why am I telling you this? Because sometimes, time can take too long. Maybe I just miss them. But in my heart, I'm still not ready to forgive them. Whew! I apologize for my insanity. I am weird, yes.
durianshortcake posted on Aug 14, 2006
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Comments
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missfickle said on Aug 15, 2006....
It was really good to read about forgiveness, it has been in the past a topic close to my heart. Is there really much difference between forgiving and forgetting? Well, if we are to learn by our mistakes, we are best not always to forget, because if we forget we will probably make the same mistakes again. Forgiveness, comes from acknowledging the part we played in allowing ourselves to be hurt in the first place. Our ego is a very complex part of our emotions, you only have to refer to frued to realise this. Usually when we are hurt by someone it is our Ego that suffers. Our ego is built around our expectations, and expectations are very dangerous things. If you don't have high expectations you don't leave yourself open to too much hurt, and then you have nothing to forgive. Our expectations come from within, and that is why when we are hurt by others, we must first learn to forgive ourselves before we can forgive the offending party. Most of the time we have played a part in our own hurt. Knowing this however does not always stop us being hurt, however it does help us to be able to forgive. xxxxxxxxxxxxxx -
durianshortcake said on Aug 15, 2006....
You're right, we play a part in our own hurt. And yeah, I may have had high expectations, too. But the only thing I'm sure of is that [i]I've never asked for more than what I can give.[/i] Maybe I should try not to give too much of myself to others. Thanks for sharing, missfickle.