today i woke up 7:30 am eventhough i dont want to... people here are noisy...
so i just decided i might as well sleep this afternoon since i'm gonna awake all night long later. i'm working the night shift after all...
so here i am taking my nap when my mother woke up me for something useless...
she said that the cake artist (you know the one ive been eyeing to apply) called to tell me if i want to work with her i'll go their house for an interview...
i asked my mother on what position? she said she's not sure...
so she just woke me up for that... people here knows that once my sleep is disturbed i cannot go back to sleep easily...
and so after months of totally ignoring me she just called to say they want to hire me but i have to go for an interview first?!?!?!?!
and what if the position is just a mere saleslady or a janitor? would they hire me just because they know my parents? i dont have any baking skills... i doubt it if they would hire me...
and people here knows that i already have a fricking job ad the frst day would be today...
and they know it would be the night shift... the know that its hard for me to sleep in the afternoon... they know that my job would be at 10 pm until 7 am...
and yeah i already signed the contract and i cant just quit the job... i'm already committed to it...
i have a fucking headache right now...
i have to go to work for a few hours..
people here are making me more angry....
i dont want to be a major bitch... i dont want to be at this angry mode... but for once can they just stop being fucking selfish and understand my situation...
sometimes i feel like i'm invisible here.. no one is listening to me... and yeah i have an argument with my mother with a shitty little thing and now i feel like shit...
i try to be mature with this situation... i try to understand themmm it's hard because they dont understand me...
i dont want to go back to being the bitch i am like a few months ago... (where i had fights with my siblings) i dont want to be always angry again...
this was supposed to be a great moment for me... first day of my first job...
does anyone here fucking care???
all my mother did was to boast to other people that i have a job... i mean sure i'm flattered that she would be proud of me but she knows that i hate it... i dont want to be boastful of what i do in life... because i dont want their approval of my happiness. my happiness is my own... and she knows that.
i think my sister is kinda jealous... she may not directly say it but i cant feel it... and she's giving me this attitude problem again...
this is fucking make me have a headache...
shit...
i need a shower to get rid of this negativity...
may be it wuld rinse what i feel inside... but will it rinse what i really feel?
thanks for reading my rant...



