queenparanoia's tags:
today i woke up 7:30 am eventhough i dont want to... people here are noisy...
 
so i just decided i might as well sleep this afternoon since i'm gonna awake all night long later. i'm working the night shift after all...
 
so here i am taking my nap when my mother woke up me for something useless...
 
she said that the cake artist (you know the one ive been eyeing to apply) called to tell me if i want to work with her i'll go their house for an interview...
 
i asked my mother on what position? she said she's not sure...
 
so she just woke me up for that... people here knows that once my sleep is disturbed i cannot go back to sleep easily...
 
and so after months of totally ignoring me she just called to say they want to hire me but i have to go for an interview first?!?!?!?!
 
and what if the position is just a mere saleslady or a janitor? would they hire me just because they know my parents? i dont have any baking skills... i doubt it if they would hire me...
 
and people here knows that i already have a fricking job ad the frst day would be today...
 
and they know it would be the night shift... the know that its hard for me to sleep in the afternoon... they know that my job would be at 10 pm until 7 am...
 
 and yeah i already signed the contract and i cant just quit the job... i'm already committed to it...
 
i have a fucking headache right now...
 
i have to go to work for a few hours..
 
people here are making me more angry....
 
i dont want to be a major bitch... i dont want to be at this angry mode... but for once can they just stop being fucking selfish and understand my situation...
 
sometimes i feel like i'm invisible here.. no one is listening to me... and yeah i have an argument with my mother with a shitty little thing and now i feel like shit...
 
i try to be mature with this situation... i try to understand themmm it's hard because they dont understand me...
 
i dont want to go back to being the bitch i am like a few months ago... (where i had fights with my siblings) i dont want to be always angry again...
 
this was supposed to be a great moment for me... first day of my first job...
 
does anyone here fucking care???
 
all my mother did was to boast to other people that i have a job... i mean sure i'm flattered that she would be proud of me but she knows that i hate it... i dont want to be boastful of what i do in life... because i dont want their approval of my happiness. my happiness is my own... and she knows that.
 
i think my sister is kinda jealous... she may not directly say it but i cant feel it... and she's giving me this attitude problem again...
 
this is fucking make me have a headache...
 
shit...
 
i need a shower to get rid of this negativity...
 
may be it wuld rinse what i feel inside... but will it rinse what i really feel?
 
thanks for reading my rant...
 
 
 
 


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Comments

  • moonriver said on Jul 21, 2008....
    10 pm to 7 am. Your bioclock will probably adjust to this night shift in about two weeks. Hopefully the call center won't quickly change your work skeds right after you've adjusted -- that would play havoc on your metabolism. My advice -- continue to eat regular meals, which should help your body and brain synchronize your sleep mechanisms.


  • PAPERBACKWRITER said on Jul 21, 2008....

    I hope the shower worked to relieve you of the tension.

    (((((((((huggies)))))))))

    <3333333333

    ate

    p.s.

    good luck with your first day


  • uniquely-ironic said on Jul 21, 2008....
    I worked a job at night once and also found getting quality sleep an issue.  I did find that making my bedroom windows completely blacked out helped. (I put foil backed insulation in them.)  It's rough adjusting to nights.  Give yourself some time to adjust to it.
  • beyondtheveil said on Jul 21, 2008....
    queenie- You can adjust to the shift, but not if people awaken you to ask questions. They need to learn that. 
  • wombat said on Jul 21, 2008....
    Two suggestions:   Ear plugs and a Do Not Disturb sign!  Hope you can adjust your sleep schedule.  I guess the message seemed important enough to waken you at the time, but I would explain the difference between "information" and "important news." 
     
    Oh--and maybe a sleep mask to go with the ear plugs!
  • SensualGirl said on Jul 21, 2008....
    Queenie, I told you it would take time.  Dont be too hard on yourself and everyone else.  You need to learn how to switch off.  I agree with Wombie, get decent ear plugs or put your iPod on when you go to sleep.  Try to "unfocus" on the things around you. 
     
    Please try not to get as tense as this, because you are making it worse on yourself.
     
    I wish you all the best baby.
     
    Love
    ~Sensual Girl~
  • silverwhisper said on Jul 21, 2008....
    sis, how's things now that you've been there two days?

    ed
  • crybabylu said on Jul 22, 2008....
    aha!  therein will lie the problem!  you'll have to sleep to be able to work!  Hope that problem gets solved real quick, or you are going to be like a zombie!...*hugs*
  • RollingC said on Jul 22, 2008....
    Working the midnight shift is not easy just for the simple reason of your bio-clock being inverted.  I've not only worked the midnight shift but also the swing shift for years in which one comes in at different times/shifts during the week.
    It creates havoc with your sleeping habits let me tell you.  Blocking out your windows is excellent advice as I've got mine partially blocked and even that helps quite a lot.
    Learn to relax yourself and put a " do not disturb " sign on your doorknob when you hit the sack.  That will remind the family members that you need your sleep.
    Rc
  • queenparanoia said on Jul 22, 2008....
    moonriver: thanks moon... it' hard but i'm sure i could adjust.
     
    paper: ate papel!!!!!!!!!! helllo!!!!!!!! i'm okay now!!! =)
     
    uniquely; i slept on my parents room since their room have less light than my room. i woke up okay now... ;-)
     
    beyond: i told them i would get wild if they bother my sleep again.... hehehhe today nobody disturbed me!!!
     
    wombat: actually i can sleep better with background music so thank goodnes for my mp3!!! and thanks for reminding me! gotta buy that sleep mask... ;-)
     
    sensualgirl: thank you SG!!! maybe i should read your erotica first before going to sleep...lol... ;-)
     
    silver: it's okay. i'll blog about it... ;-)
     
    crybabylu: i know!!! if only you could see my eyebags!!!
     
    rollinc: i'll keep that in mind... ;-)
     
     
  • dailyachesandpains said on Jul 22, 2008....
    Awe our poor Queenie {{{{HUGS}}}}!
     
    Yes, this post just confirmed to me that we have the same Mother's.  I really think we have to be related through them!
     
    Does your Mom do the "double knock" on your door and not wait for an answer if it's clear to enter room?  My Mother has done this my entire life.  WHY bother knocking if you're going to bardge in anyway?  If you are going to knock, WAIT for a damn answer and if I don't answer I'm either A) SLEEPING or B) NOT HOME.  However, it's always safer for them, emotionally, if they do NOT enter because I am most likely sleeping.  Should you wake me the shit will hit the fan especially because I can't EVER sleep!
     
    Sorry for joining in on the rant here Queenie.  I didn't mean to take anything away from yours.  I just HAD to point out in rant form how our mother's could be the same person.  LOL! 
     
    Oh, and uhhh...don't ask me why my butt is up so early this morning.  I could scream over it right about now!
     
    Daily
  • queenparanoia said on Jul 22, 2008....

    actually daily she just yelled my name... but she's nicer now since she knows i could be abitch if i have lack of sleep... ;-)

  • dailyachesandpains said on Jul 23, 2008....
    Ohhhhh, man, Queenie!  Then name yelling thing...makes me want to change my name and erase my memory of my name prior. 
     
    Guess what woke me up today?
    The neighbor was cutting down the tallest pine tree in the neighborhood and had the tree cutters MULCH it.  That means, it went through a huge grind machine and all while listening to the guy with chain saws cutting down each limb.  I could have cried.
     
    {{{HUGS}}}
    Daily
  • queenparanoia said on Jul 23, 2008....
    daily; wow i could have bitch slap them!!! that would be so noisy!!!

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