I have lost my inspiration for blogging about this journey. It feels like we're going in circles instead of moving forward. We are not growing or learning new pleasures together. We are stagnant and boring.
Master, Your desire to return to a swinging lifestyle confuses me. I don't understand why you want to waste our time with couples who aren't interested in D/s. Their closed minds dampen my spirit for adventure.
The passion I crave is not for others - it's for you. I only want you to mold me and use me as you desire. Of course I don't mind being shared (if you desire) but I would enjoy it more as part of a D/s scene.
I'm not sure I am explaining this well...
I feel like my mind and body has been desensitized to arousal by simple vanilla. Like a drug addict, I find myself needing more and more to obtain the same effect - more of the extraordinary, the unexpected, the taboo, the kinky. But I cannot comprehend how having a sexual relationship with a vanilla couple is the answer.
-Your frustrated little one
