It's been so hard for me to blog lately. Time constraints and a lack of things to talk about has rendered me silent for quite awhile. I miss writing! I've opened up this post window a dozen times in the last two weeks, and I just end up closing it and giving up.
I figured I'd try and write tonight though. Not that there's much for me to say. We didn't really do anything today except go shopping and lounge around the house. But going to the grocery store was interesting. It actually was! Sort of anyway. Weird people shop there so you never know what you're gonna get.
The first unusual sight we saw were two men dressed like pirates buying a cart full of pineapples and coconuts. Don't ask me what the hell that was about. My guess was, it was either a pirate themed party or they were filming something and needed tropical fruits. It was pretty hilarious to see these pirates pushing around a shopping cart. But no, neither of them were Johnny Depp. Just so you know.
Then we went to the healthy food section to look at vitamins. We almost got ran over by an old man in a motorized shopping cart. He was plowing through there like he was driving a Nascar. We had to jump out of the way. Then we ran into him again on the ice cream aisle. He was looking for Dove ice cream bars and they were all out.
So he looks at me and says, "can you effing believe this? They're out of Dove bars!" I was laughing a little and said that it did suck when that happened. Then he tells me that his wife is going to be mad. She'll think he forgot and just made up a story that they were out. And he looked at Nat and said, "I bet you'd think that wouldn't you if he came home empty handed?"
She said she wouldn't think that and was pretty sure his wife wouldn't blame him. But then he wanted to know what a suitable replacement ice cream bar would be. We picked the Haggen Daaz ones. Hopefully his wife was satisfied.
But we couldn't get rid of this old guy. Every aisle we went down, he was there. And when we got to the front to check out, he was being loud and bossy and yelling at them to open another register. It was kind of crowded and they needed more people, but I usually never ask them to do that. He had no problem though.
And then he plowed through the register barricade and almost yanked down all the gum and candy. Then he tried to scooter past the checker lady and almost ran over her. She had to jump out of the way! I was trying not to laugh, but this guy was hell on wheels.
And of course when we got out to our car, he was parked next to us. And I felt sorry for the bag boy who had to help him out there because he was talking his ear off about his arthritis and his wifes problems, which meant she couldn't go outside in the bad air. So he had to do everything. And he was too old to do everything.
The bag boy was just nodding a lot and say, "uh-huh, yeah, that's terrible...." over and over again. I felt bad for the old guy too because obviously he needs someone to talk to. But he was so overbearing and ordering the kid to place his groceries a certain way in the trunk.
We got into our car and I started to back out. And I came inches away from running over the motorized cart. Oops. I didn't see it! I thought they pushed it to the side, but they parked it behind my car. That would have sucked if I ran over the cart and had to buy it. (The old man wasn't in it anymore.)
But anyway, that was my evening. I should have warned you it was boring. But at least I wrote something. Maybe someday I'll get rid of this block and be able to write again. It feels like a lot of things have been on my mind, but I just haven't wanted to sit down and write them.
Oh well. At least I have a blog up now. It had been too long and that annoyed me :-P
evil_twin posted on Jul 19, 2008
| views: 202
Comments
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botoni said on Jul 19, 2008....
You dont suppose Pegleg and the rest of Kruus' friends got a day pass for LA do you? Sorry you're having a block. I enjoy your tales - but you already know that. -
secretlife said on Jul 19, 2008....
i've been having that same block thing happening the past few months.....and usually what i'll do is find something in ordinary daily life and try to relate the absurdity of the mundane-lord knows your grocery store is a helluva lot more exciting than mine!!!! -
brit said on Jul 19, 2008....
no freakin way...pirates!!! yar matey!! LOL
seriously I wanna shop where you shop :-)
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queenparanoia said on Jul 19, 2008....
hehehehehe you alwasy encounter with interesting people in the grocery store kyle... =) -
travelr712 said on Jul 19, 2008....
if i ever get that old and crotchety, please shoot me!oh wait! i am that old and crotchety! please don't shoot me!you think you had a boring day? jeez, your boring would be ultimate excitement in my world! i mean, who gets to go shopping with pirates after all? -
wombat said on Jul 20, 2008....
Not boring at all! I clicked here because it was YOU and I knew there would be some gold nuggets of fun to read and cheer me up! I bet where you guys live you see interesting things all the time like this, most you take for granted! But I agree with you about the encounters in grocery stores being an adventure in itself. Has to be---so many different kinds of people all in one place with one objective----makes for an interesting experience----but I've yet to see pirates! (I have seen similar people to the one you described, though!) -
CreativeWoman said on Jul 20, 2008....
I like your slice of life stories. You have a wonderful way of livening up the everyday things. It sounds like the old guy in the scooter had a pirate personality. :-)
CW
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evil_twin said on Jul 20, 2008....
botoni--I actually thought of Kruu when I saw the pirates! It was really funny and I'm sure she would have loved these guys. And thank you :-) I'm so glad you enjoy my tales!
secret--I was hoping if I wrote about something mundane like this, I'd get over that hurdle of not being able to write too. It does help to just get yourself back in the swing of things doesn't it?
brit--Our store is never boring, that's for sure!
queen--We do run into interesting people all the time here :-)
trav--If you're old and crotchety now, at least you don't drive a scooter shopping cart! I'm sorry your days are more boring than mine. But yeah, it's not everyday you find pirates at the grocery store!
wombat--I'm really glad you enjoy reading what I write, even if it's just a story about grocery shopping :-) But we do see a lot of interesting people around here! There's always someone to stare at :-P
CW--Thank you :-) I'm glad you enjoy reading my blogs about life. And the old guy was a pirate, just without the outfit!
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uniquely-ironic said on Jul 20, 2008....
LOL that does sound interesting! The pirate thing has gotten real big lately. You're probably right about some pirate themed party. Either that or they dress funny and have eccentric taste in foods.
The old guy would have had me laughing. I totally see myself being that same kind of "hell on wheels" when I'm that age. You're probably right (again) about him just needing someone to talk to, but with his aggressive personality he probably drives away many of his own family.
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Mr_Box said on Jul 20, 2008....
Pirates at the store? That is pretty funny. Especially considering what they were buying. Did they have any rum in there too?The old dude sounds kind of funny in an annoying sort of way. I guess he gets his aggressions out by yelling at supermarket clerks and trying to run people over with his cart :-PIt's nice to see you writing again. It has been quite awhile. But I know that sometimes it's hard to think of what to say huh? -
MissLily said on Jul 20, 2008....
Once, I remember sitting around with my first boyfriend and his friends -- they loved to make films and had a barrage of costuming and little weapons for props... and we all decided that we needed pizza. One of the main pizza delivery places was called "Pizza Pirates" and so after I called in the order we all got dressed to the nines in pirate garb. They had everything down to the crazy long wigs and buckled shoes and I had a saloon girl corset dress.
I just remember when the guy got to the door and they spoke only in "arrrrr's" and pirate venacular. I'd never seen a guy full out sprint backwards like that! I'm not even sure he waited for his tip. :)
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Johnny_Vulture said on Jul 20, 2008....
Wow, what an interesting old man. and the pirates lol. what the?
this blog wasn't boring at all. It was very entertaining actually, and well written.
By the way, I've been enjoying your blogs for quite awhile now, and I just felt like commenting on one of them :P
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allswell said on Jul 20, 2008....
Hey Kyle, Thats one good thing about living in Califonia...there always seems to be something interesting...here, nothing! lol.. but i know what you mean about not being able to write, not that i was ever a big writter but i at least used to be good at commenting, now nothing.....i so many times come on here and want to comment or even post and i just read and am so blank...very frustrating..huh?
alls
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fearing said on Jul 20, 2008....
E_T, you can make a boring shopping trip entertaining! That was funny!
Must admit to being bummed neither pirate was Johnny Depp. Sigh. We're doing a pirate theme next week at preschool summer camp. I can promise all week we'll be saying "Why is the rum always gone?". ;-)
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evil_twin said on Jul 20, 2008....
uniquely--I can only hope the pirates were dressed for a party or a movie and that this wasn't their new everyday look :-P I do think the old guy was a nice person, but he probably drives everyone insane!
Mr. Box--They didn't have any rum in their cart! But then again, they might not have made it to the liquor aisle yet when we saw them. I know it's been awhile since I've written here, but maybe I can get back in the swing of things again.
MissLily--That's a funny story :-P I can just picture that! I used to deliver pizza back in the day, but I never delivered to any pirates....
Johnny--Thank you :-) I'm glad you've been enjoying my blogs!
alls--Its always good to see you when you pop up :-) I know it's hard to write sometimes. I get quiet too and don't feel like saying anything. But eventually I get in the mood and I start writing and commenting again. Hopefully you will too.
fearing--If Johnny Depp was one of the pirates, I might have lost Nat. She would have followed them around and forgotten me! :-P I'm glad you enjoyed this and have fun at your pirate party!
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pickersplock said on Jul 20, 2008....
Did someone say, "Hell on Wheels"?Here we go again, ed!It's ET's post......................ON WHEELS! -
the_infernal_optimist said on Jul 20, 2008....
Pirates buying fruit? Fruity pirates? :-D Now there's something you don't see every day! And that old guy sounds like a real (unintentional) menace. :-p
It's good to see you blogging again. :)
~Infernal
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silverwhisper said on Jul 21, 2008....
kyle, good to see you posting again, man!
when the mrs and i go shopping and we see someone like that we'll skip an aisle or two, just to avoid folks like that. cuz when i'm in the supermarket, i'm there to do a job and get out, not to listen to some stranger's monologue!
consider more creative shopping aisle navigation, man--it just might save you some aggravation! of course, that would also mean that you'd be deprived of blog entries, though, so forget i said that!
ed -
evil_twin said on Jul 21, 2008....
pickers--I think I missed a private joke in there somewhere....
Infernal--The fruity pirates! I'm not sure if they would have liked being called that, but that's funny!
silver--Nat and I are open to distractions while shopping. Usually it makes the experience more fun if we stop and talk to crazy people :-P And the bonus, blogging material!
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pickersplock said on Jul 21, 2008....
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silverwhisper said on Jul 21, 2008....
[giggles]
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