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My parents asked to hold my car. Brought it back late yesterday. my husband was going to drive them home and he said something smart to me and I told him to get the F@#$ out of my car. We proceeded to argue as i didn't want 5yrold in the car byhimself with dad. My husband has had 2 seizures this month and I told him he was being incredibly selfish by driving with the baby by himself. His claim to fame is that our state gave him the right to drive but I always remind him that if they were aware of the seizures they would suspend it for a year until he was seizure free.
 
He wouldn't get out of my car declaring it marital property and I proceeded to be rate him infront of my embarressed Parents in the middle of the street. He proceeded to tell me I hadn't even prepared dinner yet(after I drove 12hrs from Mich,went straight to night job,went home got the kids dressed dropped them all off including him and went to second job till 5pm yesterday). Walked home and picked up the other 2 children(since my mother had the 1st one. With less than 2hrs sleep went to work last night and here I am now about to repeat the day with the same schedule.
 
I later called my parents and apologized but they realized that I just about had it with my husband. And so have my neighbors who know that they always see me exiting or entering the building on my way to or from work.(Even they know I work like dam near 70-80hrs a week.) ARRRGGGHHHH!


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Comments

  • secretlife said on Jul 19, 2008....
    i don't know how much longer you'll be able to keep up this pace-
    something's gotta give.
     
    i've had one fight like that hh---about 12 years ago, in front of my entire family- mom/dad, sisters/brother....my children.
     
    one was enough for us.
     
    i ended up leaving my husband the next morning w/kids in tow-
    we were between houses and living with my sister at the time, and i took an efficiency for a month without telling my husband where we were going.
    i really felt it was the end of the marriage.
    i knew i could never let anything like that happen again and was completely humiliated and appalled that both of us could lose control as we did in front of others.
     
    i think that was a big wake up call for my husband.
     
    but it took me leaving and it took that entire month of not letting him back "in" as husband to force him to talk about our probems.
     
    for us it was a turning point.  and honestly it could have gone either way----because i was truely 'done' with the old patterns.
     
    you must be right at that point.
     
    i feel for you.
  • silverwhisper said on Jul 19, 2008....
    HH, you've been at this place a few times in the past, it seems to me.

    the one who needs to change here is him and until he does, this will only get worse, i fear.

    ed
  • queenparanoia said on Jul 19, 2008....
    HH, i know youre exhausted now... take care of your health okay?
  • Me-Myself&I said on Jul 19, 2008....
    I feel for you. i'm sorry for you. i relate with you. Please take care and sometimes enough is enough! the hours and stress you are under WILL take a toll. Bless your heart. ~see ya
  • Fallyn said on Jul 19, 2008....
    wow, i couldn't even do it.
    i hope it gets better. *hugs*
  • botoni said on Jul 19, 2008....
    You have much more on your plate than you deserve.  Escape sounds like the solution I would choose but then I'm not you.  You have to make your own decision but I'm sure encouraging you to move on.
  • Eilan said on Jul 19, 2008....
    HH, I don't see how you do all things you do in the limited amount of time you have.  Please take care of yourself.

    Only once have I fought with a spouse in front of my parents--it was my ex, a little over a year after we were married.  It wasn't even a fight, really: I kinda went off on him for something that may well have been out of his control.  When we left my parents' house, my brother said he felt sorry for my ex.
  • RollingC said on Jul 19, 2008....
    Have you tried counseling?
    I'll keep you in my prayers....I know it's not easy and I am no one to give advice.
    Rc.
  • husbandhater said on Jul 20, 2008....
    He said he'd do the counseling but then turned and said no need for one. Do I love him anymore? Not Sure. Can't bring myself to go file the forms but getting closer to wanting to. There are so many things that factor into this decision . Not one to make light of. Gotta go see you when I get home at work now.
  • dyingman said on Jul 20, 2008....
    I'm a darn thoughtful husband.  Look after the kids, have a decent job, a tender lover...

    But if my wife had your schedule she'd hate me too. 
    Good grief lady, maybe your husband stinks, but make sure it isn't your life that makes him seem so bad (Men in general ain't that great.)

    The marital property thing he was right about.  The rest...  well, yeah.  He's a jackass.

    One thing I always figure is the dealbreaker.  Seriously go over the complication of being a single mother.  Then ask yourself if he's worse than NOTHING.  Some men fail that test easily.  Many men pass by the skin of their teeth.  In which case maybe it's a matter of keeping your eyes open for a better option.  When he (or she, who am I to judge?) comes along, you can  bargain from a position of strength.  THIS has to change or we're done here.  (No fair using lust/chemistry of a new love in the equation.  That's too much to ask of a husband and the newcomer won't keep it long.)

    Personally, I've had maybe 4 serious fights in front of the kids over 12 years, but never the parents.  Maybe only because visits with them are too pleasant for us to get on each other's nerves.  Hehe.  There was a time we united though and confronted my parents when it was my parents getting on her nerves (understandably so!).  We won big time and all of us were much happier.



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