Father in his thirties walks out onstage:
I walked in on a normal day if you could call it that. I could just tell something wasn’t quite right if I could have only known. I walked upstairs calling for him, he didn’t answer me. I called and called his name, to the point of frustration and rage, I thought he was getting high again. I wished. I opened his door; something was lying against the back of it. I forced it open and there he laid. My baby boy, my son. The reason for my life to exist. His wrists bleeding out, he didn’t move. His body was so cold as I held his head in my lap as I cried out for help. What would make him do this? Was it something I said to him? What the hell made him kill himself? Where is my son? I want him back. I want to fix what I broke inside of him. I want to take his pain away so, he would never think of this. Instead I stand at his gravesite; wishing God had taken me instead as he lied alone bleeding from his own hand. I miss John very much I hope he feels better now.
He departs, a lady walks out:
So, one afternoon I am at work and having a really great day. I mean a really great day, a big sale went through I am on cloud nine. Then my phone rings, and my heart stopped beating. On the other end there is a Policeman; he says “Ma’am, I found your daughter this morning in the woods behind the school. She was shot in the head with a gun in her left hand.” I began to cry uncontrollably screaming her name, wondering why? I was picked up and my husband was being stoic and tough as usual. We identified her, my baby lying there under a sheet naked. “Cover her up.” I screamed. “My baby doesn’t like to be naked. She needs her teddy bear.” Yeah, her teddy bear, like that was going to make her come back to life. They handed me her purse, her coat and a piece of paper….That damn piece of paper. I wish I had never read that damn piece of paper. She explained how she felt that she was disappointing all of us, her friends and family. She was unable to deal with the disappointment that she felt she created in us. How she hated herself for the pain she caused us, my baby caused us. I must have tortured her poor soul to do this in some way. She mentions how she was sorry that someone had to find her that way, she could no longer find a way out of the mess of her life. How she was dealing with her issues, her issues of being a 16 yr. Old lesbian. Knowing how we must have disapproved of her. We never knew. I had no idea and would have given anything to tell her, to love her anyway. Now I will never get that chance to tell her. I miss Kimberley very much.
She departs, a teenage girl walks out:
I was dating Michael for about six months and for us it seemed a lifetime. He was the love of my life. I could do nothing but dream about him. But, there was this problem. My father didn’t approve of him. Michael and I were striving to keep our relationship a secret as we kept dating. My father kept trying to separate us. One day, we were riding in his truck and he talked about dreaming about me. Me, he dreamed about me. I made him stop the truck and I ran out…”Wait, where you going Bridget?” he cried out. I kept running, my fear of how our love would only anger my father more. Especially now. But, looking back I wished I had staid with him. That was the last time I ever saw him, alive. I went to school the next morning and everyone was looking at me, teary eyed. The school counselor came to me and led me to her office. She closed the door, “Bridget there has been an accident.” She said. “Is it my father? My mom?” “No, honey it was Michael, he took his life last night.” At that moment my father walked into the office. I raged at him, screaming at him, hitting him. He made Michael leave me. He made Michael die. He held me close and whispered in my ear, “I’m so sorry baby. I wish I had known.” It was too late and then Michael was already gone. The love of my life was gone.
She walks off, an older Lady walks out:
I am not really here to tell a story, this is for my son. He had Bipolar and other issues. Last month, he took his own life. I went out for a couple of hours and when I came home, he was lying in my dining room. He wasn’t breathing and there was blood everywhere. I was terrified. Why would he do this to me? What would make him hate me this much to do this in my house? Why? Why would my baby, take his life in this way? I don’t understand. Some people have tried to explain it too me and I still do not understand. Maybe in the rest of my lifetime I never will.
She walks off; a group of teenage boys walk out:
Our buddy Jarred was a great football player, the star. He was always smiling and happy when we saw him. He knew what he was hiding from all of us. One day our coach cancelled practice and had a team meeting. He stood in front of us, with tears in his eyes. He said, “This morning, my son Jarred was found behind the bleachers dead. He apparently gone out drinking and took some pills. He died of an accidental overdose.” We all sat speechless. “He left a note that we just found an hour ago in his room. He wanted it read in front of the entire team.” After reading the note we were all stunned. We had no idea that Jarred had lost control of himself. That his mind was killing him inside, that he was so sad. He took his life, because he was so depressed about being abused as a child by a family friend. We sat in tears, how was I to know that the guy who helped take us to games and out for pizza was doing this to our friend? And now our friend is gone. We miss you Jarred.
They leave and in walk a teenage girl:
I was about 6 or 7 I guess when I found out my Daddy was gone. I remember the day my Mommy cried for a lifetime. Daddy didn’t live with us anymore so I really didn’t understand. He came around once in a while and sometimes called or showed for holidays. He would stay a couple of hours then leave with a big tear in his eyes. I hated when he left us, I loved him so much. We went to a big building and watched them lie Daddy in the ground; I didn’t understand why Mommy was so sad. She seemed to hate Daddy so much. I would lie in my bed and cry for hours wishing Daddy was there to hold me and say “goodnight baby.” One day he was there and then he was just gone. I am about to graduate High School and I remember him saying how proud he would have been of me to see me graduate. I wasn’t stupid like you always said you were Daddy. I made you proud… (She cries and runs off.).
A woman walks in wiping tears from her eyes:
I married Jim on August 13, 1964. Jim looked so handsome in his Military Uniform. So strong, so sure of himself. He was about to leave for Vietnam and I was terrified. When he came back he was a shadow of the man I married. He stared so distant into the air, lost in his thoughts. He never did really recover from it. Jim one day kissed me lovingly and left to go fishing. If I had only known. He never came back and I was in such a hurry I barely noticed his kiss. Jim went fishing? Jim never went fishing. Eighteen hours later he hadn’t come home. I saw he took his overnight bag with him so, I figured wherever he went he would be back. The Policeman stood at my door with Jim’s bag in his hand. “Ma’am I have something for you. We found this in the wood line by Sherman’s Park.” “Ok” I replied hastily it was Jim’s bag and it was heavy. I waited for more information but, the Policeman just walked away. In the bag was everything I had ever sent to Jim in Vietnam, on his business trips, on Vacations away from each other. Suddenly another knock on the door. It was the local Minister of our church. He looked so sad, he just held my hand. “I’m so sorry Sally. I do not know how to tell you this.” “Just tell me please what is it?” I had no idea my knees were going to give out as those dreadful words came from his mouth. “Jim took his life with an Army issue 45 yesterday sometime in Sherman’s Park.” The minister caught as my knees let go. He led me to the chair. What could I say? What could I do? I got up and ran for the door, as he grabbed my arm. “Wait, Jim did not want you to see his body. He left you a note.” He handed me the note and I nearly fell again. All it said was: “Dear Sally, I loved you so much. I will miss you forever.” He had apparently left another note telling about what he saw and did in Vietnam. That poor man, I had no idea what he had been through. I knew about the nightmares but, he would never tell me about them. Now I wish he had.
She departs and a middle aged man walks out:
I can still hear her voice, I can still smell her on the pillows, and I can see her in our children’s eyes. What I cannot do is understand where she went, why she had to leave us this way. What did I do to make her hate me so much that she would kill herself this way? I cannot say goodbye, I can barely care for our children alone. What the hell do I tell them when they ask why Mommy isn’t coming home anymore? Why Janie, why? How could you do this to us?
He walks off and a teen male walks out:
I am so sorry Mom & Dad. I know your looking for the reasons why. It wasn’t you it was truly all me. I was angry all the time from the frustration of my life, school, friends the bully in the hallway each morning. It was all adding to the tension in my mind. I tried talking to you so many times but, I just couldn’t explain how I felt. How I felt as if I was not living up to your expectations for me. I love you.
He walks off; a middle aged male walks out:
Shouting: Hate me today. Hate me tomorrow. I ruined your life and mine. This fucking thing inside me, the manic moods. The pain it caused was killing us both. It had to be stopped. I couldn’t fucking make it stop any other way. I’m fucking so sorry I hurt you this way.
A lady walks out and takes his hand:
I’m sorry too. I failed to help you when I should have reached out instead of pushing you away. I failed to see how hard you tried to survive failing to realize how hard what was going on in your mind was hurting you too. I could see you burning yourself and I failed to understand pushing you further away into your own world. I don’t hate you anymore. I followed you to this world after my broken heart realized how I failed to protect you from yourself. Now I understand.
They leave together, two teenage girls walk out:
We had no idea what this was going to cause when we did this. All we wanted to do was be together but, no one would accept us in that small town. A lesbian was a foul word that made us feel dirty. We wanted to make it stop and our own parents made us feel as if we failed them. The night we sat in the garage with the car running was the only time we felt accepted in our lives together and that is truly a shame.
They leave and an older couple walks out:
Our children were together for a couple of years when we moved to different towns. We never realized that our children were so close that when we separated them this would have ever happened to our families. They had been talking online, texting and suddenly they were gone. We searched for days only thinking they ran away to be together not realizing how upset they truly were. Johnny ran to Jenny and then they were gone in an instant. We found them in the woods behind the high school were they first met. They were holding hands lying on a blanket. They looked so peaceful.