• Me-Myself&I said on Jul 17, 2008....

  no way! i could not give up a child i carried. nope, no way. hell i fell in love with my son the first time he kicked me! (from inside) haha *smile* thanks ~see ya

• destinydiva said on Jul 17, 2008....

  hi memy :-)  ya know for years that was my thoughts exactly, up until a couple of years ago
   it wouldnt technically be my baby...    it would be my friend and her husbands dna, genes,sperm, eggsect.. that 'merge' and are placed in me...so I'm kinda just like an oven cooking the cake, or the 9 month long babysitter :-)   or the hen sitting on the eggs...
  
  I wouldnt be giving up my child ... only housing and taking care of someone elses child  for 9 months :-)
  
  If the situation was  different, if I was pregnant with my own child, I could never give it up...  just like you, I fell in love at the first kick...I fell in love at the first pink line that confirmed my pregnancy!!  :-)  lol    :-) xx
  
   
  

• secretlife said on Jul 17, 2008....

  no, couldn't do that.

  just couldn't give up a child i bore.  no way.

   

• moonriver said on Jul 17, 2008....

  Moonriver Kung Futzu say, If me could bear baby, me most surely give them up by time they reach 21. If no one get them yet by this age, and if they not willing to go, me kick their ass out of my house.
  
  

• SeanRenaud said on Jul 17, 2008....

  I don't know how much of it is true and how mufch of it is female angsty bullshit but my Ex was surrogated and she believes that a large part of her problem with her mother (genetic and legal gaurdian) is that she isn't her "mother" (the woman who carried her for 9 months and birthed her) and that they don't and never can have that same bond and that's why they fight.  *Truth in my opinion is that they fight because she's immature and ungrateful and her mother much like me has the bare minimal amount of tact possible in a human being* But the truth is that I don't know.  There are sufficient studies to atleast suggest that things like a mother's heart beat is soothing to a child because they had 9 months of it, and that's why mommies>daddies when it comes to soothing a child. 
   
  My point is that I'm not sure it's a good idea overall. 
   
  Also I well I have a penis, I can't be in this scenario and I don't even have kids so maybe this is one of those times when I just don't get it.

• destinydiva said on Jul 17, 2008....

  lmao mr river :-) xx
  
   thanks for sharing your thoughts secret :-)  I'm curious to discover what everyone  thinks  about  the  idea  :-) xx
  
  

• destinydiva said on Jul 17, 2008....

  lol sean!!  :-) thanks for stopping by and commenting even though you have a penis! :-)  your opinion is valued as much as any penis less persons opinion :-)
  
  what you said about  never having the bond,  and  soothing heartbeat,  has really  unsettled  my thoughts on this scenario...      my thoughts up until now have been that it is not my child I am carrying,
  
  but reading your comment  makes me think more deeply,  that..although it isnt my child, it is a life I play a part in creating.. it is a life  I am partialy responsible for...  and I dont want to  give life  to a  being  that is going to  'miss out' in  any way ..hope that made sense? :-)
  Although...  children still have a strong bond with their father...even though their father didnt carry them for 9 months...  ??....
  
  hey I just thought.. (and heres where you sharing your thoughts..and having a penis could be benificial!!  :-)   ...you have a young son dont you? ...would you say he has more of a bond with his mother than he has with you? ...  just curious :-) xx
  
   
  

• uniquely-ironic said on Jul 17, 2008....

  It's really hard to say unless you're really confronted with the whole situation.

  I think I could surrogate for another woman.  I love children.  I can't imagine anyone not getting the chance to raise at least one child of their own.  I would like to be a background observer of the child, but would understand if the genetic parents weren't keen on the idea.  I loved being pregnant, but would likely want a C section with immediate tummy tuck as "payment" for carrying the child.

  Sadly I'm not a real good "breeder" and tend to deliver healthy children, but prematurely.

• SeanRenaud said on Jul 17, 2008....

  Negatory, no children of my own.  I have friends with children but none of my own.  (though it sometimes feels like some of those kidlets belong to me)
   
  Honestly I think that's whiny crybaby self prepetuating drama more so than actual fact.  It turns into one of those debates wher despite being able to point out fact after fact after fact debunking it I can't actually know if that's the root of their basic dysfunction.  I sort of choose not to believe it.  When I meet somebody who in the near decade I've known them have given up on all of their friends got nfew friends and recycled them as well (save for one stalwart yesman *though he's cool* and one comiserator *whom I hate and who's always hated me* )  I tend to lean towards answers that make more sense.  But like I said I don't and can't know for sure.
   
  It's not that I don't think kids and fathers bond but I am of the belief that under normal circumstances young children are more comforted by mom than dad.  This could be because of the traditional family and may change soon.  I don't know for sure.
   
  I just don't know if I could actually take this option on purpose because if I had a daughter (or son) who didn't get along with my lover because they didn't birth them I'd feel like I should have known.  You know in that same way that you'd feel really stupid if you were to shout Candyman three times right now and then died of bee stings.  You KNOW it's bullshit but at the same time if you tempt fate and get bit you feel stupid.
   
  *edited for mass rambling*

• destinydiva said on Jul 17, 2008....

  unique~lol 'breeder' :-)  I really like that term for it!! :-)  
   I guess for me, the giving birth part because I love it so much, is my bonus but I'm definitly warming to the idea of a tummytuck thrown in to the deal :-) xx

• destinydiva said on Jul 17, 2008....

  I really enjoyed your mass rambling sean :-) lmao about the candyman :-)
  I think I got you mixed up with stupidgenius for a second there..  (did he just have a baby not long ago??....) sorry...  anyways.. ..you have still broadened  my vision of the situation :-)  thank you :-)xx

• SeanRenaud said on Jul 17, 2008....

  I think you must be the first woman I've ever heard say they enjoyed child birth.  Usually they use it as a horror story and threaten that if I don't stop making fun of their shit head kids I'm gonna have to hold their hand the next time.  Which often leads to a whole long speech from me that gets to be down righy mysogonistic.  (What are evil women called, I mean feminazi while clever doesn't sound all official and clinical like chauvanist or mysognonist.

• destinydiva said on Jul 17, 2008....

  lol sean !!!!!  ...hmm not sure I'd wanna be on the receiving end of that speech :-)    ...yeah I've always been a bit 'not with the flow' ha ha  :-)  
  aaww I love giving birth!!  but I have been really really lucky! I  had straightforward and very rapid no ..stitches/epidural/20hour labourpains...labours!!  many of my best girl friends hate me for it being such a breeze!  so I appreciate that not all births are as enjoyable as mine were :-) xx
  

• Me-Myself&I said on Jul 17, 2008....

  hey destiny, i know it would be someone elses egg and all but it would be connected to me, to my body and soul. not to mention it has my blood pumping thru it. hmmm....~see ya

• destinydiva said on Jul 17, 2008....

  memy~ wow I never even thought of   that aspect of it... 
   I think  maybe this whole surrogacy thing would be a lot harder than I originally anticipated...   xx
  ps.....hmm hmm!! :-) xx

• polarheart said on Jul 17, 2008....

  Hi Destiny!  I think the answer is no.  I would not do it for someone I dont know.  But then again, the answer is yes I think so.  If I had a close friend - a very close friend - who needed a surrogate because she and her husband could not have kids together,  I think I would really consider it.  Of course Mr Polar would have to be on board too.
   
  Unlike you I loved being pregnant. . .but I dont know if I'd like to be pregnant now or again since I am getting on in years.
   
  There are a lot of things to consider and other people to consider.  It may be hard for my own child to accept and I would not want it to have a bad effect on him.
   
  Interesting post, Destiny!
   
  Love Polar

• Eilan said on Jul 17, 2008....

  I think I could do it.  My pregnancies were relatively enjoyable, though my pregnancy-related blood pressure issues might not make me a good candidate for surrogacy.  Three our of four times I ended up being labeled high-risk at some point, though as far as high-risk pregnancies go, mine were pretty tame.
  
  I can't say for certain, though, because it's not a situation I'll ever be in.  Right now I am absolutely 100% positive that I wouldn't want another child, but pregnancy and postpartum hormones might make me feel otherwise.  I don't know if knowing the child wasn't biologically mine (assuming my eggs weren't used) would make a difference.
  

• travelr712 said on Jul 18, 2008....

  imho, i think you would find giving the child up after carrying it for 9 months would be much more difficult than you believe it to be right now.

• queenparanoia said on Jul 18, 2008....

  probably no. i'll be attached to that kid... wow you like giving birth! that's brave of you!!! you can tolerate the pain?

• phie said on Jul 18, 2008....

  i couldnt do it but i take my hat off to anyone that could give some one such a gift... just wow!

  phiex

• MissMimi said on Jul 18, 2008....

  I'm too old now, but I would have done it, for a good friend or family member, as long as the egg used was not mine.  I loved being pregnant, and the idea of giving someone that special a gift truly touches my heart.

• bhalah said on Jul 18, 2008....

  one day i said to you, one day i will tell you thanks,
  if, you was enfront of me, and i coud talk to you,
  i will tell you alredy, ufter 10 months, thanks, i want tree more...but,
  by,  ever gona have more, if, dasent the semental came
   

• Fallyn said on Jul 23, 2008....

  birth sucked, pregnancy sucked.
  regardless that my body CAN'T carry another baby (my doctor said it would kill me)
  the part i miss is the tiny tiny tiny ones just after birth....i get that longing sometimes. to hold a newborn and have them just snuggle for hours on end.
  
  i wouldn't be a part of this scenario. physically and every other way couldn't.
  

Comment on "scenario!!!"

Currently tagged	scenario life mother Interact bhalah curious (Click to add tags below)
Tag this post	(Separate tags using commas, for example: New York, dating, vegetarian)
Your comment