• TinSoldier said on Jul 16, 2008....

  I'm sorry to hear about your friend, but I'm sure you will figure out a compassionate and yet truthful way to explain this to your own children.
  
  As you titled your blog, there are no guarantees.
  
  I don't pray, but I'll keep your friend in my thoughts.
  

• cuppajava said on Jul 16, 2008....

  I am sorry to hear about your friend,and i can only imagine who much of a shock it must be to both you and your children - but i agree with you - there are no guarentees for tomorrow - even if you think that you are in control - no one is.No one has the power to predict what is going to be the outcome of tomorrow.
  I will keep the family in my thoughts and in my prayers,and i hope that they have the strength to make it through this.

• moonriver said on Jul 16, 2008....

  secret -- A brain aneurysm is such a treacherous thief, stealing lives in such a sudden swoop, without any warning.
  
  A friend of mine had a 19 y-o son, very intelligent and promising kid, studying computer science at the university, reaping consistently high grades, and very healthy too.
  
  One evening, his dorm roommates found him slumped in front of his comp. He had been reviewing for his midterm exams. He was dead of aneurysm.
  
  Another friend of mine had a daughter, in her mid-20's, just starting life with a young husband and a baby. One morning, on a very ordinary workday, out of nowhere, she just crumpled to the ground while she and her husband were walking to the car on their way to work. The same culprit: brain aneurysm. Luckily, she was rushed to a nearby hospital and saved just in time. After a flurry of MRI's, other neuro tests and delicate surgeries, she's nearly as recovered as can be.
  
  My friend told me that the episode and the new lease on life gave her daughter an intensity and depth in living her life that she had not experienced before.
  
  You speak the truth, my friend. Every day is precious. Indeed, there are no guarantees.
  
  

• CayenneMan said on Jul 16, 2008....

      secretlife I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. Carol sounded like she was a real go getter living her life to the fullest, taking care of her responsibilities  to her children and also attending recreational functions must have kept her quite busy. This woman sounded like she'd help anybody in need steering them in the right direction without expecting anything in return. My heartfelt prayers go out to this husband and his children. Carol will surly be missed. We just have to remember she's in a better place.
     I wish there were more men and woman in this world that behaved like Carol. Her children are old enough to remember their mother and will one day have their own families and we will see a reflection of Carol through them.
    It seems like so many parents neglect their children today and then you here a story like this. It's sad.  Like your title reads there are "No Guarantees".
    Take care of yourself secretlife and stay strong.

• Me-Myself&I said on Jul 17, 2008....

  blows the mind doesn't it?! to think that this day could be your last.
   
  i am sorry for the shock and loss of your friend.
   
  i will say a prayer for her heartbroken family.
   
  i quess the old saying is true ...."live life like there is no tomorrow."
   
  take care ~see ya

• queenparanoia said on Jul 17, 2008....

  i'm sad to hear this secret... so sad... we can't explain it all... but we have to accept it... she and her families are in my prayers...

  by the way how are you? how about your son?

• woman said on Jul 17, 2008....

  It leaves us speechless, doesn't it? To be reminded that we could be swept away into eternity in one last heatbeat. That it doesn't matter whom we leave behind, what age we are, nor how healthy we thought we were. And yet, there it is and all we can do is fully embrace each day, made more precious because of it's fragile nature. Your friend and her family are in my prayers. I am so sorry for their (and your) loss.

• uniquely-ironic said on Jul 17, 2008....

  I'm so sorry to hear about this.  She sounds like she lead a wonderful fufilling life, and her family will miss her sorely.  There seems to be no making sense of these kind of untimely deaths.

• quietone said on Jul 17, 2008....

  You said it well...... there are no guaranttes on life.. It is sad and unfortunate that her children have to struggle with such a sudden loss in their lives.  I will pray they find some comfort.  sorry for the loss of a seemingly wonderful person of your community. 

• Mamie said on Jul 17, 2008....

  oh, I am so sorry. and these stories just unnerve me. I cannot imagine and I hope that they are surrounded by the love and comfort of family and friends. best to you too, Mamie

• Eilan said on Jul 17, 2008....

  I'm so sorry. . . wow.
  
  Carol and her family are in my thoughts.
  

• starchini said on Jul 17, 2008....

  omg....  : ( 

• destinydiva said on Jul 17, 2008....

  wow, shocking!!  this is the third person I have been told about this happening to in only one week!!   I'm sorry you lost your friend secret...   it really does send home the realization that life is not guaranteed...
  my thoughts go out to her family
  ((((((((((((hugs ))))))))))
  des xxx
  

• secretlife said on Jul 17, 2008....

  thanks tin for stopping by.  i talked with my son again this morning because he was the first one up.  my sister who also lives in town spoke to my 15 yr old as she was driving her to my mothers....she still had lots of questions.  when something like this happens, it takes awhile to wrap your arms around it.     cuppa was talking about the shock of the unexpected death--- and not just for those of us who knew her and her family, but imagine the shock of her family today?  woman i have been unable to get that out of my mind all day long.    it's just so very sad.  death doesn't take into account age or children or unfinished business......i know so many sick people who worry about death....and yet this woman wasn't sick, and she's gone before any of them. 
  for those of us on the outside looking in -- her neighbors and her friends, it serves as a reminder, right moon?  of how transient all of this is, how fragile life itself is, and how everything can change in the blink of an eye.  personally i find all of that just a wee bit disheartening....
  i wonder, will her children remember her?  will they remember her well enough?  12 is so young.........C-man you think they've had enough?  my tears today were for them, that in 12 more years, what would they remember of this woman?  they will never get the chance to really get to know her...and appreciate her....
   
   

• RollingC said on Jul 17, 2008....

  My condolences to you for the loss of your friend and to her family.
  I will keep her in my prayers.
  God Bless
  Rc
  

• newbeginnings said on Jul 17, 2008....

  Secret life , I am so sorry to hear about your friend, your heart must feel in pieces and I guess you hugged your kids really hard today.

  I have been there too, but it is never easy. "be strong " but not too strong, crying is good for you too.

  xxxx

   newbie xx

• secretlife said on Jul 17, 2008....

  mmi i'm constantly reminding myself to live each day like it could be the last day......no regrets, you know?  but life has a way of making me forget this and having to relearn it over and over....
   
  queenie:  i've been thinking about her all day today-  my kids and i are going to the funeral mass tomorrow morning.  it's hard to believe...i tihnk everyone is still in shock.  i'm like u-i said right now, just finding it hard to make sense of this untimely death....and as mamie points out......everyone is a little un-nerved.  how can we make sense of such things?
   
  quiet: i keep thinking of the kids--- you just know that something like this will have profound effect on their lives and you wonder why fate is so cruel...
   
  eilan: thank you.
  star: exactly.  :-(
  Rc:  thanks. 
   
   
  destiny:  3 in one week?  and moonriver knew several people this has happened to as well.  such a tragic turn of events.
   
  newbie:  thank you.  yeah, i looked at my children a little differently today-  and thought alot about what my 12 yr old would remember about me if i were to die.  year ago when i got sick, i used to plead with God......just let me get them to 18....just let me raise them.  i remember how desperately i wanted that.  and this poor family will not have this very thing.
   
   
   

• monkeyboyx said on Jul 18, 2008....

  OMG! the prayers are said.Soooooooo sad.

• 007Hardone said on Jul 18, 2008....

  My condolences go out to Carol and family. As has been said many times by others here, life has its surprises. My ex passed away the same way. It was hard and difficult to deal with at the time. My children, grown now, have managed to press on.  Again, Carols thoughts are with me. 

• satyr said on Jul 19, 2008....

  I'm always late here - I know it makes no sense, SL.  Our neighbor died of exactly the same thing about 10 years ago, similar circumstances but no triplets.  It's a shock when sometihing like that happens.  I still think of our neighbor ... her husband has never remarried and raised the kids as a single father.  It's hard when there's nothing you can say or do.

• Ordinarylife said on Jul 24, 2008....

  I am so sorry to learn of this.  This is the first time that I have visited to begin reading your blog.  Your own kind words expressed to me as of late have been well received and that I want you to know that you have my deepest condolences and most sincere thoughts as you face the days ahead.
  
  yes I will of course pray for Carol and her family, as well as you.
  
  ((((secretlife))))
  

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