Today I did something utterly (udderly?) stupid.
We've all done it or been victims of it. Jeff Foxworthy even had a bit about it. Your buddy takes a sniff of something (an old gym bag, a closet full of stinky shoes) and goes, "Shooooo! That stinks!" Then he turns to you and says, "Come smell this!"
AND YOU DO!
Come on, you've been there, right?
So this morning my husband says to me as he leaves, "Can you check the milk?" He poured himself a glass but thought it tasted funny so he didn't finish it. He has a chronic sinus condition that makes smelling and tasting subtle differences difficult for him. Being the one with the working nose, I get asked to check things now and again.
I know that there are some chicken casserole leftovers that are giving the whole fridge a sort of spicy smell. So I figure the milk must just have taken up some "fridge taste." You know what I mean.
But in my groggy morning state (seriously, just saying "whuuu...?" is an achievement for me before 9 a.m.) I somehow assume that he wants me to taste the suspicious milk. And somehow I don't question of this assumption, even though I didn't check the milk until after noon, when I should have been awake enough to realize what I was about to do.
He had considerately left his unfinished milk from this morning in the fridge, in its cup, covered with a bit of plastic wrap. I'm getting things out of the fridge for my lunch and figure now's as good a time as any!
I took the plastic wrap off. *sniff*
Huh. It does smell kind of funny...not really like the casserole.
Somehow, no warning bells went off at this point either.
*sip*
OH HOLY Q#$!*()#$ OH MY GOD I'M GONNA DIE !%*)(#@$%!!!
Wait, no, I'M GONNA HURL!
OH GOD OH GOD SPIT IT OUT!!!
I didn't hurl. I didn't die either.
But I'm starting to get really paranoid about milk. The carton before this got sludgy (which I only noticed after I had finished an entire cup of tea, only to discover milk sludge in the bottom). Never seen that happen before. Before that, chunky milk in his cereal. Before that, separated "milk plasma".
You know, I think I'll stop keeping it in the door of the fridge now.
(please, don't take this moment to remind me that I was a National Merit Scholar...)
nytquill17 posted on Jul 16, 2008
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Comments
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uniquely-ironic said on Jul 16, 2008....
The age and consumability of food has always fallen squarely in my corner. Somehow I have become an expert in whether or not the milk is bad, the food has turned, etc. Needless to say, I've had my share of nasty smells. Fortunately I have a blood hounds nose, so I have managed to avoid tasting said foods. -
nytquill17 said on Jul 16, 2008....
DH is paranoid about food going bad (probably because he can't smell very well.) But he also exaggerates which gets under my skin.
Food I put in the fridge yesterday has been in there "for days," according to him. Two or three days ago is "last week." More than that is "two weeks ago." If he can't remember when it went in the fridge (for example, he didn't SEE it go in!) it has automatically been in the fridge "for weeks."
So I am constantly saying, "No, honey, that smells fine." Or "No, look, there's a date on the side; it's still good."
My mom would get a kick out of it though. When I was little, *I* was the paranoiac and she was the one saying, "It's not a bomb you know! It doesn't explode at midnight just because there's a date printed on it! It doesn't know what today is!"
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uniquely-ironic said on Jul 16, 2008....
Yep! I get that all the time from "he who shall remain unnamed". What I find ironic is that more often than not, he's the one who has put a pyramid of take out containers in the fridge and then resolutely refuses to be the one to throw them out. -
nytquill17 said on Jul 16, 2008....
Hahah I KNOW right??
I found the Jeff Foxworthy bit I was looking for. "Courtesy sniffs."
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uniquely-ironic said on Jul 16, 2008....
I've seen this bit. It's totally true. Somehow men take a special kind of pride in who can find or produce the rankest smell. Maybe this is why their noses are not able to distinguish lesser smells of spoiled food? ;) -
nytquill17 said on Jul 16, 2008....
The cave MAN only has to be able to smell mammoth poop to find the mammoth (also he's probably out there pulling his buddies' fingers while waiting for a mammoth to pass by). It's up to the cave WOMAN to know when the mammoth meat has gone bad! -
uniquely-ironic said on Jul 16, 2008....
ROFL "also he's probably out there pulling his buddies' fingers while waiting for a mammoth to pass by"!!!! I can so see this!It would be interesting to find out if women have more olfactory nerves then men, making us better able to distinguish subtle smells. -
nytquill17 said on Jul 16, 2008....
I know a woman's sense of smell heightens during early pregnancy, to help her avoid things that might be toxic to the baby. But even when not pregnant, in terms of ancient/tribal humans, women were still responsible for child care and teaching children what to eat (or not eat), and preparing food for the family or community. Her sense of smell would help keep her and her family safe from food poisoning. So I wouldn't be surprised if we've evolved a heightened sense of smell compared to men in order to help safeguard our offspring.
Or to put it another way, in terms of evolutionary biology, a woman's sense of smell is more critical to survival of the species than a man's is, so it would make sense for it to be more developped.
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the_infernal_optimist said on Jul 16, 2008....
Hilarious. :- D (Err, I mean, I'm sorry you experienced that, nyt...)
~Infernal
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nytquill17 said on Jul 16, 2008....
Well, I had it coming to me! DH said it smelled funny, I thought it smelled funny, the past 4 milk cartons have gone bad...and I still tasted it??
Glad you thought it was funny :D I sure did!
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silverwhisper said on Jul 17, 2008....
bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! omg, that was hysterical! nyt, you really need to put warning notes on your fridge or something: "if the milk smells funny, dump it. do not pass go, do not drink, do not collect $200."
ed
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