well, i am having another breakdown. want to know why?same reason. i hate life. manytimes i feel i do not get what i deserve. i just hate it. will i ever se truly happy? i feel so depressed. and lonely. and cranky. i do not know what is wrong with me. why do i react in such a manner everytime we discuss?? i so tried to keep a straight face, but i dont think i was sucessful. it was so obvious i was trying to fight back my tears. i do that all the time. and while coming home, i try to come back smilling so it doesnt seem  i have cried while coming back. so i run to the bathroom, cry my heart out and say i was sick or i am havind a bath or something. i wonder if i will aactually ever be able to discuus this to a person. its exactly what i want to do.any one .a random stranger. i wonder if at all i will have a happy post coming.

-still depressed :(