So here I am. I've started to blog before and have deleted it. I just can't seem to get this out in print. My friend (a counsler of all things) tells me that I need to write things down. Crazy shit happens to me. My problem is that writing it down seems to make it "real". I imagine I am in denial about a lot of this and I am going to learn a lot about myself. I guess I could call this the exploration blog. A journey into the mind of me.
To make my long story short let me give some background. I turned 40 this year. i was excited about 40 so thats not my issue. Last year my 17 year old daughter moved out of the house and in with her boyfriend...then back in the house...then back out with another boyfriend...then back in the house...yea you guessed it...out again. Now she is 18 and living in a house owned by my mom, her grandmother.
My mom is crazy. She is an emotional abuser. She had managed to keep my brother (17 years my elder) and I apart by telling the other we wanted nothing to do with the other one for many years. Until I made a phone call....again...long story short my brother and I were able to finally talk and his childhood mirrored mine. My mom now has custody of 2 teenage girls (my stepsister died last year) and I can see the behavior again. It's like watching my childhood on TV.
Anyway, there has been a lot of drama as you can imagine. I am not the drama type. I am a peace loving can't we all just get along type.
I am writing it down. I am making it real. I am doing something for me.
I need all the help I can get.
