....as the title say's...............                          it's just...no one ever made me feel like i mattered like they did. i still am having crying spell's up to 40 minutes long.it's like there's a hole in my heart,and it hurt's like hell.i never trusted anyone as much as them,never got attached to anyone like i did them.i went to see them everytime i could because i felt so good with them.   sound's selfish but it's feel's like there's just nothing......nothing at all.no stability,just kinda empty,black,dead.i feel so damn lost........yeah i'm still somewhere in this never ending blackness.hopeless.so often lately i just wish i'd be dead.I'M SORRY but damn they mean so much..........i know you's are sick of me whining on this....so i'll try to at least keep it short.i wish i could hug them and never let go,but oh well.i can't do this right now after all.it's all still to real,difficult and hurt's more than any hurt i've felt in year's.again it's selfish but i wish they never would ever have left at all.but........fuck it.i'll shut up.i'm getting to overwhelmed,again.