• uniquely-ironic said on Jul 14, 2008....

  Call child support services and inquire as to whether or not they've checked in with your ex to see if the children are up to date with their pediatrician and/or eye doctor.

  My ex does the same.  I take them in for everything, and even though he's supposed to be paying 1/2 of the out of pocket costs he never does.  I've seen the teeth nearly rot out of my son's head because of his neglect.  Yet he gets my tax refunds, stimulus checks and child support.

• johnlove said on Jul 15, 2008....

  Everytime I ask for information regarding health issues they refer me to another department in her county that usually blows me off.
  I did write and email an complaint regarding the events that took place on Sunday. She didn't want a court appointed facility to watch me and the kids yet, she sat there doing nothing while her child not only was disrespectful to her father but, kept hitting me on my two bad knees with the stick.
  If I get a flare up, I will not be able to walk. If I am unable to walk at work then I will be unable to pay my child support as I cannot work if I cannot walk around. I don't understand why she just sat there doing nothing.

• uniquely-ironic said on Jul 15, 2008....

  Because she's a bad parent and she's allowing her child to take out her anger on you.

  I wish I had better answers for you.  I usually end up just paying the medical bills myself, which has ruined my credit and put me in a hole financially that will take me months if not years to dig out from.  My only consolation is that I know I'm doing the right thing.

• johnlove said on Jul 15, 2008....

  I just don't know what to do. If she continues to talk about me disrespectfully in front of our children this will only get worse.
  If I stop going she wins, if I keep going she still wins cause they will continue to act that way.
  I feel like just giving up completely falling down on my bed and wait for my body to stop moving...yeah right, the doctor told me I wouldn't live to be 40 if I kept going the way I have and I am about to turn 41... alas poor Eurick I knew him well...lol

• uniquely-ironic said on Jul 15, 2008....

  well, it involves risk, but you can always file a petition with the court to have the child removed from her custody citing unfit parent as cause.  This at least will put you in front of a judge where you can calmly state that not only does she not put their health as top priority, but she allows the child to physically batter you and speaks to you in an inappropriate tone in front of the child.  A thinking judge will either require that she attend parenting classes or have a court appointed observer attend a number of your visits.  The con in all of this is that you may end up worse somehow for asking for help.  They court may decide that you're being frivilous with it's time.  I've seen this stuff go both ways.

• johnlove said on Jul 15, 2008....

  My ex was not speaking to me in a nasty tone, my daughter was.
  I have no idea what the hell I am supposed to do. It took me almost a year to straighten out the crap she was up to before.

• uniquely-ironic said on Jul 15, 2008....

  Oh, my mistake.  That's even worse.  Kids don't come up with this stuff on their own.  Your ex is undoubtably laying the grounds for this when they're with her.
   
  Now, I need to ask this, are you reprimanding and punishing your children when they do this?  I know you would rather not have "bad" encounters when they're with you, but you are still a parent and need to discipline them.  It sucks being a parent some times. :(
   
  Here's something to hold onto though.  Even if you end up being the "heavy" with the kids now, down the line they will realize your discipline was for their benefit. 

• johnlove said on Jul 15, 2008....

  It is virtually impossible for me to lay down the law as I am Bipolar and if I so much as go two seconds too far, I can get into big trouble.
  And yeah, I figure since words like, " I hope grandma doesn't come in. If she does you will leave since you don't like her." come out of my daughters mouth.
  I have to have the ex supervise because she didn't want any one of the local groups that do that for the court involved because the kids are too dependent on her being present. Her words not mine. That is what she told the lady when we went in for mediation to get this new court order.

• uniquely-ironic said on Jul 15, 2008....

  How about passive discipline?  For instance, when your daughter said that you simply tell her that it's not for her to worry about and you won't discuss it with her any further.

  BTW, there are a lot of medications for Bipolar Disorder.  Are you on anything?  If what you're on isn't really working you might consider something else.

• johnlove said on Jul 15, 2008....

  I am very very aware about medications and my daughter has been told repeatedly by me that it is nothing for her to worry about but, when she sits at Nanna & Poppa's listening to them talk about me, she can't help it. She really is a lot like her father worrying about everything most of the time.
  And I am not on med's at this time. I cannot afford to pay for the doctor, the medications and the trips to the therapist they make me go to or I cannot have the meds in the first place.
  I pay 65% of my paycheck after taxes to my ex-wife to catch up on my arrearages. There is barely enough left for two weeks to get back and forth to work, Not much else.

• uniquely-ironic said on Jul 15, 2008....

  I'm sorry you're in such a tight situation.  Is there any assistance you can get from the county for the meds?  The reason I ask is because having known and lived with more than one person with Bipolar I also know that not being on meds can cause a lot of problems.
   
  Yes, some kids are going to be worriers no matter what you do.  Just be consistent in not discussing your relationship with her nanna and poppa.  My youngest is a worrier and I know how hard it can be to keep her from trying to "fix" all the wrongs she sees.

• johnlove said on Jul 15, 2008....

  I have asked for assistance but, because I am working all I can get is a little bit of money for food that is all I qualify for unless I want to quit my job which if I do the Friend of the Court can put me into jail...what a great list of choices.

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