im not sure why i tried this, im not generally a creative writting type of person, usually im the critical reader, but i thought i would give it a go...  feel free to be as harsh as you like!
 
this isn't how it was supposed to be.
i dreamt, i flew,
clouds were all that filled my lungs,
no air, no reality, no substance,
the present- already my past.
 
untill i fell.
 
no wings, no clouds,
all dirt, aground.
you who had been-
my altitude
became my gravity.
 
and it hurts too much
too even begin forgiving-
 
you and me
thats the way it was supposed to be


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Comments

  • moonriver said on Jul 12, 2008....
    phie -- i'll just tag your post for now. i read it, but too sleepy to make any sensible comment. i'll come back to it tomorrow, when my battery's fully charged again. good night!... :-)

  • quietone said on Jul 12, 2008....
    I like it -well done!  keep up the good work!
  • secretlife said on Jul 12, 2008....
    i like it!
  • lionesss said on Jul 12, 2008....
    short and sweet *** very nice xx
  • phie said on Jul 13, 2008....
    thanks guy's!
    not bad for a first try- haven't written a poem since i was twelve or something!
    any constructive criticism is more than welcome!
    always trying to improve!
  • monkeyboyx said on Jul 17, 2008....
    Blog on!,blog ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Say Goodnight

Close your eyes
Under starlit skies...
It is harder to share pain than it is joy. Sometime with the help of friends and family, we endure our pains. But sometimes we have to stand alone. But if you maintain a postive outlook and endure cheerfully, we will find more company along the way....
uggghh...

If

If...
for my love....