i've been guilty the last few weeks of goofing off way too much at my job, almost to the point where i feel a little bit bad about it. publishing as a whole seems to go on a serious slow-down during the summers, leaving very little to actually do - people go off on vacations, the pace slows down, and some companies have summer hours in which fridays are half days until labor day. of course, my company, since it's so tiny doesn't have summer hours, and i've yet to take a vacation despite the fact that i really just hate everything about the company. there's little to no room for advancement, the company is run in a very eccentric and cheap fashion. morale is extremely low amongst everyone - some of us (meaning my girlfriend and me) have been known to openly refer to the company as a sinking ship. but when it comes to the goofing off, there was some time in which a couple of people had gone off on extensive vacations and i had spent most of my days working on my novel and listening to music and ballgames on mlb.com. i spent a day checking out baseballreference.com, looking up stats on rather obscure ballplayers that i remembered as a child. i spent a quarter of day checking out minor league baseball teams and ordering tickets. i spent a whole day on myspace. i've spent days chatting and flirting with my girlfriend. and i've also have taken naps in the president's office when he wasn't in, and i've also nodded off at my desk, only to be awakened by the phone ringing. on a certain level, i should care about the glaring lack of professionalism that i've shown and on another level, i sometimes wonder why i should care.

i've interviewed for other jobs. after all, i've realized that i'm going to be forced to make a lateral move out of the company to move up. but i've also realized this - and i've realized this a long time ago - that i don't want to work in publishing forever. i need to support myself, i need to pay my bills and this is an ends to a means. i just need to finish my novel. i never envisioned myself working a day job past the time i turn 35. hopefully that works out.

in any case, i'm bored. i'm on here to keep myself awake. i haven't posted in a while although i've responded to a couple of messages people have sent me - thanks cornflakegirl and a few others. i have a feeling i'll be on here a lot today!