I had to make a decision this week.It was a decision that I thought i would never have to make.The hospital called me on Monday afternoon this week.They said to me that I was required at the hospital for admission.
It was a call that I thought I was never going to have to take.it was a decision that i never thought i was going to have to make.
The doctor on the other end of the phone was the same doctor who had evaluated me at my last appointment.He told me that the time for me to have the surgery was now.He told me that the longer I now left it - the less chance I had of making a full recovery.He also told me that the hospital could give me no guarantees of a 100% result.He also told me that he could give me no guarentee that something was going to go wrong,and something detrimental would happen.
So it was something along the lines of 'have the surgery and see what happens'
Not the kind of odds that i was hoping for.
But I hadnt heard anything from my parents - i knew they were ok,my brother had told me so.I had mailed them twice and told them what was going on with the hospital,and that the need for me to have the operation was imminent.
But I hadnt got a response.No mail,no call,no text message.
Did the not care any more? were they not bothered about me anymore?
I know that they had hidden the fact that they knew about me having the condition all my life - and never told me about it.Why I still dont know?
Were they ashamed of me.?
I was never the brightest kid at school -well,primary school anyway - I seemed to wake up in high school.I actually had a learning disability as a result of the condition when i was younger - I grew out of it eventually and suddenly woke up during my years at tech.
My doctor told me that your spine only stops growing at the age of 22 - so i could have done something before then - if I knew.
But I didnt.My parents didnt bother to tell me - they said they wantet to grow up a normal child - but there was nothing normal about me - and i would never be considered normal until such time as i had this operation.
I long for the time when I didnt know anything about this crap - I wish it would all just go away...



