I got up this morning after a very restless night.I kept on thinking to mysef - what if they got it wrong.What if the cut a nerve instead of scar tissue ? Where would I be then.I would probably have to move out of the house.My mother in law has said that she would have me back in a heart beat - its her birthday today - 64 years old.I wondered would I ever reach that age.I have plans to still be here at 100.
I know that I should be looking at the positive aspects of this.Hell,if i wasnt - i would have been a basket case long ago.I thought back to my Dad's admission at the barbeque a couple of months back,that they knew about it.but they didnt say anything,cos they didnt want to wrap me up i cotton wool.
I hated him for that,at that time.But maybe it hindsight it was the right thing to do.After all,I was living a perfectly happy life up until a year ago.I want that life back.
I used to get up in the mon\rning and take the day head on,and not let any physical drawback get in my way.
I still do that -the only difference is that i am second guessing everything and thinking twice before I do it.I dont want to do that anymore.
Maybe thats the point of the operation
I know the doctors know what they aer doing - so why should I doubt them.
Thats the thing though - i dont doubt them
As much as I have been having a stiff upper lip about all this and trying to find some humor in it.
Maybe I am starting to doubt myself - only time will tell.
