so just this year i heard about the myers-briggs personality test. i dont know if you are familiar with the test but it essentially breaks down 16 different personality types. after taking the test i found that my type is the ENTJ. which as i have found out really quickly is really rare.

 

when i first took the test and told all of my friends about how rare my personality type was they said that EVERYONES test said that, but the things is i dont think that holds true. lately i have been further reseaching the ENTJ personality type and it pretty much describes the basis of my personality. of course it would be ridiculous of me to base who i am off of some test, but if you have ever taken the test you know that it outlines the foundation on which your personality is built.

 

and so i came to this conclusion: there arent many people like me.

 

i am opinionated, out-spoken, head-strong, and sometimes intimidating to other people. and for a long time i have had no idea why. sometimes it makes me feel really alone in the world because i think that im the only person who feels like this and who thinks like this.

 

all of my friends are they types that are the opposite of everything i am. im logical. that pretty much sums up everything i stand for. i have the tendency to see the majority of things in black and white. and of course my friends have to see EVERYTHING as a shade of grey.

 

and essentially it really pisses me off. i feel like im not apart of the puzzle. im the left over piece. and sometimes that okay to me, but i feel like im driving everyone away. i know that in being an ENTJ that i have the tendency to come off a insensitive to other peoples problems. but i have made an honest effort to understand others feeling and emotions, but i feel as though i dont recieve the same sort of understanding in return, so it feels as though it means nothing.

 

to be 19 and a woman, and to be very independent, and decisive and opinionated, and head-strong is really hard. i just wish that i knew one person in my life that actually understood where i was coming from. just one person that thinks and feels the way i do because it seems that im one in a thousand and i just havent made any kind of contact with anyone like me. and frankly sometimes i feel like its killing me on the inside. i just want to be accepted somewhere by someone. i dont need the 7 billion people on this planet the like who i am or agree with where im coming from.

 

and i dont think its too much to ask for there to be someone on this damn planet who thinks logic matters as much as i do. im a logical person. i dont think that you should allow people to treat you like shit i dont think that you should be in unhealthy relationships or that you should make stupid choices when you know full and well that its ridiculous.

 

for my first year of college i made a group of friends and now that its summer im not friends with 3 of them, pushing 4. they ALL are illogical. and to me its not the fact that they arent logical, its the fact that they think that what they are doing IS logical.

 

i know i know, humans dont always do the logical thing. i know i have had my moments, but never have i tried to defend the fact that it was logical. im one who can admit its stupid, but if im set on it im going to go through with it anyway.

 

i just honestly feel like there is something wrong with everyone esle. but because i am out numbered people feel it okay to persecute me for having a dominating demeanor. so thus forcing me to fufill that prophecy. im not an angry person, but i like to argue and debate just for fun. and for some reason people seem to think that im being mean so it does in fact make me mad thus i reinforce their idea that i am an angry person.

 

naturally i can get along with other people quite well. but i feel sometimes i am more mature then the people i call my friends. and i know as the person that i am that its not like me to sit and wait for them to grow up. i just feel this need to propell forward, even if it means leaving them behind.

 

i dont know what i am sometimes. and sometimes i fell like im alone in it all. so i decided to start a blog. because from what i have found, i might not be the only one out there.