so ive written about E, my new love..but this post is about him..this is about my friend. she and i were roomates my first semester she was my 2nd roomate though because the first one was crazy. but, she and i got along great! we dont get a chance to hang out much anymore. thing is she an her boyfriend got an apartment together an i got my own room on campus. but no matter what we are still close, and can always rely on one another! she went through my breakup with me when my ex an i broke up and she was the one who crawlded in my bed with me an tried to calm me down because i couldnt breathe and i was crying so much.
well wed i had gotten off of work and was layin in bed, i knew she wanted me to go to a party with her an her bf an some friends, and i wasnt that excited about it. i decided when she would call i would just tell her i wasnt going. but she called and i answered an she said, "L" that was it my name. I was like "yea.." an there was a long uneasy silence.... I finally asked what was wrong, and thats when i heard her crying. she told me she was at her apartment an she had found proof this time that he was cheating on her, thats barely what i could make out between sobs!
so, i rushed to throw on some shoes, and grab my purse, i hung up with her, and told her id be there in 3 minutes! she lives close to campus, but it was just aweful. when i got there, she met me outside, an she just cried, i drove around, and just let her talk. she stayed the night with me lastnight..and that was fine, we borrowed a blow-up matress from a friend..and it was fine. of course i want to be there for her. she now has to find a new place to live! and get furniture, and she doenst have a car, because they shared one..and she has a internship and a job, what is she supose to do!?
i told her she can crash her as much as she wants, an when i can ill take her to an from work but its also within walking distance. its just sad. i went through the same, just thank goodness me an him didnt live together. i dont know..its just hard..its so hard to see the same thing happen to one of my great friends. it brings back all those emotions an feelings i went through. its like i knew my life was over.
i felt so much yet nothing at the same time. we had plans! an then in a not even 5 minute phone conversation it was all over. my future, my love, my heart was so broken that it hurt deep within my chest, i could feel it burning, and breaking. my eyes cried so much that they were almost swollen shut!
but, for the better or worst, i made it through, i did laugh again, i did make myself get up and shower, an still attend class. and even though all i did mostly was lay in bed, and cry, i did it when she wasnt around as much as i could..
and now..what do i do? i don't know what to tell her, all i know to do is listen, and help her as best i can. she seems to still be in a daze about it.. i know its hitting her, but it wont officially until we move her stuff, get her a new apartment, and when she's in there, alone, with just her things. an without him.
god it pains me, because i know how much it hurts her! and i dont wish it upon anyone. i had to go through it, and i hope an pray i never do again. but my other point of view on it, is that.. theres a reason i went through what i did right? because now i am happy, now im with E an i love him. and i want him. and he wants me! and without going through that i wouldnt have met him, be with him today!
i know i cant say that to her, i know that it wont help. she started building a life with him, at a very young age of 19, and now she'll be 21 soon, and she's already been through so much. i hate it for her, but i dont know what to do. i bought her her favorite chocolate an we just sat an talked for hours last night. this morning i dropped her off at her apartment and she promised to call later since she'll be staying here again..
im just at a loss for words as to what to say to her...i just dont know..i guess the only true expression i can say is..time really does help heal..
at a loss of words..me
