Havn't come across one of these so I'll start one. Sorry if I offend anyone, but my sence of humor is pretty warped.
Q: What's blue and dosn't fit?
A: A dead epileptic
seer posted on Jul 04, 2008
| views: 451
Comments
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seer said on Jul 04, 2008....
Q: What's the difference between Madelene Mcanne and Pope John Paul the second?
A: Pope John Paul died a virgin
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seer said on Jul 04, 2008....
I saw some awesome graffiti -
Jesus saves!
Becham scores off the rebound
And on a durex machine - 'so was the titanic....;
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seer said on Jul 04, 2008....
Q: What's grey, sits at the end of the bed, and takes the piss?
A: A kidney dialasis machine
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seer said on Jul 04, 2008....
Q: What did the buddhist say to the hotdog seller?
A: Make me one with everything
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seer said on Jul 04, 2008....
I crashed into a Mercedes on the way to work this morning. A midget got out and said 'I'm not happy'
'oh right, which one are you then?'
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seer said on Jul 04, 2008....
One from my brother
9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape....
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moonriver said on Jul 04, 2008....
lol! i liked those ones about the dead epileptic and the dialysis machine.
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seer said on Jul 06, 2008....
Q: whats got two legs and bleeds?
A: Half a dog
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seer said on Jul 08, 2008....
Q: Why does it take blonds so long to pee in the morning?
A: Ever tried seperating a grilled cheese sandwich?
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seer said on Jul 08, 2008....
Did you hear the joke about the baby with AIDS? It never gets old...
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seer said on Dec 01, 2008....
That Jade Goody will do anything to get back on the cover of Heat Magazine.
However, I'm waiting for the issue "How I beat Jade Goody" by Cervical Cancer. -
seer said on Dec 01, 2008....
Doctor: It's bad news, you have cancer and Alzheimer's.
Patient: Oh well, it could be worse - at least I don't have cancer. -
seer said on Dec 01, 2008....
Three women were in the waiting room of a gynecologist, and each of them was knitting a sweater for their baby-to-be. The first one stopped and took a pill.
"What was that?" The others asked her.
"Oh, it was Vitamin C - I want my baby to be healthy." A few minutes later, another woman took a pill.
"What was that?" the others asked.
"Oh, it was iron - I want my baby to be big and strong." They continued knitting. Finally the third woman took a pill.
"What was that?" the others asked her.
"It was thalidomide," she said, "I just can't get the arms right on this fucking sweater!" -
seer said on Dec 01, 2008....
What's harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree?
My cock while I'm doing it -
seer said on Dec 01, 2008....
An Englishman, Welshman and West Indian are in hospital, waiting for their wives to give birth. There is quite a bit of pacing up and down when the nurse comes out and happily announces that they are all fathers of bouncing baby boys.
"There's just one problem," she says. "Because they were all born at the same time, we got the tags mixed up and we don't know which baby belongs to whom. Would you, as their fathers, mind coming to identify them?" The men agree and walk into the delivery room and look at the babies.
Immediately the Englishman stoops down and picks up the black baby. "Yes, this is definitely my baby," he says confidently.
"Um, excuse me," says the West Indian, "but I think it's fairly obvious that this is my son."
The Englishman pulls him aside and says, "I see where you're coming from, mate, but one of these babies is Welsh and I'm not prepared to take the risk." -
seer said on Dec 01, 2008....
What does the sign say above the nursery in a Muslim maternity ward?
"Live ammunition." -
seer said on Dec 01, 2008....
I've reached the age where a lot of my friends are starting to have children.
They always tell me how hard it is to have kids, and that I can't understand how difficult it is.
Bullshit. You think having kids is hard, try talking your girlfriend into her third consecutive abortion. -
seer said on Dec 01, 2008....
I was checking into a hotel the other week. At the counter, a guy in front of me said curtly to the receptionist, "I hope the porn channel is disabled."
Unbelievable what some people are into. -
seer said on Dec 01, 2008....
You should all be ashamed for making all these jokes at the expense of the disabled!
They can't even stand up for themselves. -
seer said on Dec 01, 2008....
My friend is in a wheelchair, so I gave him a chainsaw, wrapped him in tinfoil and sent him on Robot Wars. But seriously - he's dead now. -
seer said on Dec 01, 2008....
One from my brother on MSN -
When Barack Obama was performing his speech after being elected as president, he had to do it behind three inch thick bullet-proof glass.
I thought that was a bit harsh - just because he's black doesn't mean he's going to shoot anyone.
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seer said on Dec 01, 2008....
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking after a house fire. -
seer said on Dec 01, 2008....
Billy : Mum, I've got the biggest cock at nursery school, is that cos im a big boy?
Mum: No, it cos your 28 and retarded. Now watch before you slabber your spaghetti down your new Celtic top. -
seer said on Dec 01, 2008....
Christianity: the belief that a 2,000-year old Jewish zombie will get angry if you masturbate. -
seer said on Dec 01, 2008....
A black man went parachute jumping. He leapt out of the plane, felt the rush of the wind and saw the ground getting closer. After a few seconds he reached for the rip cord to open his parachute. Just then an angel flew by and said to him, "if you love Jesus, don't pull that rip cord."
The black man was very religious, so he took his hand away from the rip cord, saying, "yes, sir, I do love Jesus!"
A few seconds later, the ground was a lot closer and his body began to be really tense. Once again, he reached for the rip cord and the angel flew by again, saying, "if you love the Lord Jesus, don't pull that rip cord."
The black man's faith was strong and he took his hand away again. A few seconds later.......splat! The black man hit the earth and was killed instantly. And as the angel flew away he laughed to himself, "I don't know how I got to be an angel when I hate niggers so much." -
seer said on Dec 01, 2008....
If Jesus died for our sins...
Then if we don't sin, surely he died for nothing...
Fuck the confessional, people, get out there and rape things! -
seer said on Mar 30, 2009....
What's the similarity between Jade Goodie and an Easter Egg?They're both in a box by Easter.
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