• pinkjellybeans said on Aug 14, 2006....

  I can understand your feelings and also relate. My mum was a good parent when I was younger but not so much anymore. But I feel the same as you with regards to more children; I adore my daughter and I feel that she would always be my favourite, which is so unfair on the other child(ren). Anyway, I have to say, it's obvious you weren't a bad child. You just didn't have a close relationship with your mother; that doesn't make you a bad daughter. And I also think yes, you sound like a great mother! Smile... PinkJellyBeans

• durianshortcake said on Aug 14, 2006....

  PJB, thank you for the kind words. You really inspire me. You are definitely one of the reasons why I love being here. Here's me smiling =)

• Weird_World said on Aug 14, 2006....

  I think that my mom is pretty cool, so never did any favourtism, she is not interested in any of her daughters... She has become interested in me now because I am ill... If you start with this atitude that I might make favorites, then there is more chances of you doing it... If something dwells in your conscience for long enough, it actually ends up become a fact... Dont worry, take it as it comes... Take care Adious S

• silverwhisper said on Aug 14, 2006....

  i think that you have a pretty good idea of what [i]not[/i] to do as a mother. with such powerful lessons, how can you help but to do better? :> ed

• pinkjellybeans said on Aug 14, 2006....

  Anytime, DSC... I'm glad I bring something positive :) PinkJellyBeans

• secretlife said on Aug 14, 2006....

  You were not a bad daughter. I'm sure you will go out of your way NOT to repeat your mother's mistakes. But here is the thing about being a mother- You WILL make some other mistakes; albeit with good intentions and tons of love in your heart. And that's ok because none of us are perfect....And (SilverWhisper, this is for you) that is the nature of the relationships between mothers and children.

• durianshortcake said on Aug 14, 2006....

  WW, I'm afraid you may have a valid point. SW, I just hope I can put the words into actions. Sometimes, there are things that are easier said than done. Thanks for the encouragement. :) secretlife, I'm sure I'll make mistakes along the way. I can only pray that I won't commit [i]major[/i] ones. Thanks again!

• ayinkurie said on Aug 14, 2006....

  Hi DSC, Who says a bad daughter can't be a good mother. Base on what you've said, you're not a bad person yourself. but you feeling bad because of the way you are treated by your mom. Sweetheart, we are in the same boat. I always have conflicts with my mom. But forget about our Mom. The main thing here is our child. Our baby. Do you love your baby? If you do, give him/her the best of you. If you feel that your mom have favoritism. So, choose not to be like her. Treat all your kids equally. I have 3 kids myself. A year apart from each other. They are my 3 precious jewels and they shine differently. It is our ownself to decide wether we are going to be good or a bad mother.

• durianshortcake said on Aug 14, 2006....

  ayinkurie, thank you. You made me feel better. I've always felt bad about my relationship with my mom. But you're right. My child is who really matters now. I remember my dad's sister telling me that my mom's attitude was the same as my grandma's. She said, "like mother, like daughter." But if you're going to think about it, my mom had two choices-- either to be better than her mom or to be like her. Unfortunately, she chose the latter. Well, I'm definitely choosing the former. Again, many thanks to you all.

• musicfreakazoid said on Sep 08, 2006....

  I guess regardless of what people say about a child looking just like the mother of father, the child will always be his or her unique self. My mom ruled with an iron fist. I'm the eldest and with 2 other siblings. My youngest brother and I are 8 years apart. By the time she got to my brother, it was only nagging. I did think it was favouritism then but I grew out of it. I have my own daughter now and we are planning for a 2nd. I really believe love will come naturally for the 2nd but the first child must be established in the mother daughter relationship to feel secure.
  

• crochetgirl said on Jan 23, 2007....

  That doesn't make u a bad daughter. it makes u a bad daughter for ur mother. We all have dreams in our heads and she probably had a dream of what her daughter would be like, and you weren't it, that's it.

  I'm 17 and i don't feel like a bad daughter and i  hate my mother. She played the favoritism card. I have an older brother and everything is about him, even though he's an "adult." I wanted a mother who would talk to me about how to be a woman, or even give me a book about how to be a woman, anything but she gave me nothing, but misery. We can't just be in the middle with our love or like for each other, it's either i'm doing her bidding, being a slave or needing my teenage space and she ignores me.

  I hate her b/c she was never there for me. she let things happen to me and did nothing. When I hear stories about a mom letting her daughter be molested or raped by a step-dad or boyfriend and not believing their daughter, I get so angry, so disgusted cause sometimes in the end the daugther says I still love my mom. That makes me want to barf, i could never love my mother after that.

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