I told Taran that I love him. I wanted to wait until we saw each other on Friday, but I felt as though I could no longer contain it.
"What do you wish to gain by telling me this, darling?" he asked. Not exactly the response I was hoping for, but it didn't change the reality of what I feel.
I was looking for relief, and I found it. I've tried my best not to love him. Certainly, our circumstances are not conducive to any type of easy relationship, but it is what it is, and much as I attempt to distance myself from it, it stays, for worse or for better. It simply exists independent of the situation, even with him sitting on the opposite side of the globe.
When the phone rang this morning at 2 am, I anticipated tragedy,only to be greeted by his wonderful voice.
"I am sorry to wake you, mashooqa."
Please don't apologize for manifesting my dreams.
"I just wanted to tell you that I love you too. Read my email. I have to go."
The email was a part of a poem by Hafiz. I think that he and I are both afraid of the very same things:
"I used to walk in a beautiful garden singing, but the garden fell in love with my voice, and fell in love with my toes too, then it concluded it would be smart to follow me home and never move."
