Finally! I have an hour of free time before I need to start preparing for the family potluck tomorrow!
I would like to apologize for taking so long editing CNiaFM rants 19 through 22 (yes, four of them are still awaiting the patented BlueHotRage Seal of Temporary Accuracy(TM)), as things have gotten rather hectic around the workplace, and I am stuck in a position that not only has demanding deadlines, but also will not let me use company computers to access my beloved internet during my breaks.
But I hope to have a week off at the end of this month (provided all goes according to plan). And since the July 4th cake is going to take forever to layer, I might as well do my best to... do what I do best: ridicule my nemesis.
In short(ish), pot-shot form, if that pleases my audience.
Hold your applause till the end, though, as the moron's been up to some major-league crap while I was, y'know, working:
To start, here is an example of Norris' bitterness towards gay people and atheists: http://www.wnd.com/index.php/index.php/index.php?pageId=65282
Funny. I don't recall anyone in my atheist group ever deigning to claim Thomas Jefferson as one of ours. In fact, I don't think anyone has ever flat-out accused the man of being irreligious, because he wasn't. He was deeply religious, and for all I know he probably tried to conduct his personal affairs as if he were King Solomon. How else could he have justified cheating on his wife with one of his slaves?
But, as I said last spring, just because something was commonplace in the past--like slavery--that doesn't make it appropriate, just, or ethical.
Once again, Chuck Norris completely misunderstands the current conflict of prayer in public schools. As I'm to understand it, public schools get funding directly from the government--not near enough as the private schools, but then again, private schools are funded mostly by PTA groups and such. Privately-funded schools--such as exclusively christian schools--can have as much prayer and religious celebrations as they can handle. However, if the government were caught giving money to a public school, and that school is pressuring its students to pray a certain way (i.e. forcing students to attend a regular religious ceremony or risk getting a bad grade)... then it looks like the government is supporting THAT particular religious practice over all of the others that exist in this country.
And the government does not want to have that, because (say it with me, folks) AMERICA HAS NO OFFICAL RELIGION!
So, no, Norris, no one is trying to take your precious bibles our of your offspring's hands. No one is preventing them from worshipping however they wish--or not. But if they are in a government-funded school (which, last I heard, they weren't), it's not appropriate for them to proselytize during the lunch hour, or pray in class when they should be listening to their teachers.
Also, while atheism as a movement did not formally exist during our country's early years, some say it has roots in a movement that DID exist at the time--DEISM. The majority of our Founders were Deists, including Jefferson.
The following two "articles" are basically attempts for Norris to kiss Newt Gingrich's fat, ugly keister, slathered in puerile, childish, and lame excuses for "humor":
It looks like he added the second installment because "American Solutions" could not get even half the amount of internet signatures they needed for their piddly petition. As of today, they only have about 1.25 million signatures, out of 3 million, which is a little under half... in less than a month since the petition was set up. And, again, nobody has really "DiGGed" any of his "articles," either.
What I find deeply insulting about these "articles" is that this moron actually LIVES in my native state of California--has a nice little ranch with his family, I hear-tell--and he wants us to drill for oil off our coasts?
HELL NO!
And I think you all can understand from this past entry why I cannot support drilling for oil, especially not in my home state:
It's too dangerous, and not worth another goddamn spill. Plus, have you seen offshore drilling sites? Those things are hideous! Something so physically unattractive blemishing our shorelines would certainly drive down property values all over California, and lower property values mean less people wanting to live here, which is not worth the extra fuel, either.
"Get off your gas and drill?" That's the best you can do, Norris? Please. A middle-schooler could do better than that.
But, you know what? If he'd rather joke about this issue--if he'd rather make crude, stupid puns and act like those verbal dung-bombs are words of wisdom--if that's how he wants to play this, fine.
Looking back at my pictures of crude-oil-saturated birds and fish--and looking back through the moron's archives and not finding a single goddamn word about the Cosco Busan fiasco in November of 2007--I have one thing to say about this complete frickin' moron, who has a homestead in my state, and yet couldn't give a rat's ass about the state's environment:
Chuck Norris can kiss my gas.
I'm not kidding. If having more gas for his goddamn car means more to him than having clean beaches to take his children to, I want to see this moron with pitch black lips.
This third entry sounds incredibly desperate: http://www.wnd.com/index.php/index.php/index.php?pageId=67721
Norris, what the hell makes you think that the "Governator" is going to side with you? Especially when you insult his masculinity?
Gov. Schwartzenegger may be a Republican, but he's also a burgeoning environmentalist, himself. If you don't like the decisions he makes--if you're pissed off that he'd rather focus on electric cars and NOT lift the ban on offshore drilling--then, by all means, pack up your little lovechildren and your trophy wife and GO BACK TO TEXAS!
Nobody's about to frickin' stop you!
Hell, if Texas and Louisiana are as desperate as you (which I wouldn't know, because I was born and raised in California), they might as well drill for oil, if they're still economically ravaged by the disasters they've been through...
This latest one, however, while seemingly demonstrating that, yes, Chuck Norris is capable of thinking about other people--this "article" is a far cry from a serious ontological discussion on the nature of freedom: http://www.wnd.com/index.php/index.php/index.php?pageId=68321
If anything, it's more like a disguised advertisement for Xerox and some Indie flick a friend of his is filming. Which, if the latter is anything like Ben Stein's atrocious "Expelled," is likely to be chock full of partisan bitching-points and other histrionic crap.
And no amount of copy-and-pasting from the VA website is going to change that.
