A couple of weeks ago my brother told my mom he's thinking of getting a divorce. I didn't believe him at all. I just figured they were argueing about something and they'd work it out like they always do. However, this week it sounds like it's getting worse. A few days ago my brother called my mom and told her how hard this was and how my sister in law was really sad. My mom was upset because he sounded like he wanted her there and she can't really be there. When I was listening to her talk on the phone I started to feel bad. I guess I started to believe him more. That day my mom and my brother talked a few more times, which is a lot more than usual, and my mom was telling him stuff to keep him from changeing his mind. A couple of days ago, he called my mom again and she said he seemed happy because he was free and could do what he wanted.
I don't know if I just have to much time to think of things or if I'm just finally starting to see what this could do to my family. I'm starting to feel really sad about it, why can't I have a freakin shrink when I need one? I feel like my family is all I have pretty much, and we're a small one, but now it's going to be broken up. My sister in law is like the sister I never had. At least that's what her role became and how my brother and sister in law wanted to make it. I was usually happy with that arrangment, since she came into my life around the time my Dad passed away. It was strange to see that one of my family members could be happy after that, but I figured it be a good thing and for the most part it has been. Now I don't know what to do or how to feel or handle it, I never thought this would happen. I stayed with them a month ago for a few weeks and they seemed to be getting along like they usually do. They had fights, bad ones sometimes, but they always worked things out and I'd be annoyed with all the hugs and kisses going on, but at least they seemed to still love each other.
My other thoughts turn to my sister in law and how she must be doing. I feel so bad for her, because I know she loves my brother. It just reminds me of how hurt I've been by guys and how this must be ten times worse for her because they're married. That alone is enough to bring me to tears, I'm not sure why. We're a lot a like her and I and I guess that makes me more upset about it. I don't know why it bothers me so much. I just think of all the memories I've had with them and their wedding and I feel terrible.
I guess I am getting ahead of myself though, they could always work things out. I just thought it would have gotten better by now and my mom seems to be taking it ok. Any insights or perspectives would be appreciated.
