• pusscat said on Jul 02, 2008....

  Hello there friend.  I know how much you love your Master and don't like letting him down but he really must take responsibility for your health and wellbeing.  Forcing cock up ass when the muscles are not ready or the anal passage aren't lubricated properly is not a nice or easy experience for anyone. 

  A Dom should never, ever expect a sub/slave to do anything that is physically beyond her limit without practice.  A Dom should NEVER be angry or punish a sub/slave for failing to do something that was beyond her control.  My Dom likes anal and so it is both our responsibility to train my ass.  But plugs that aren'tnot too big to put in for say 15 minutes at a time while seated or walking around, moving up over the weeks to half an hour.  After a couple of weeks you'll find you can use the next size up and so on depending on the size of your Master.   A potential weight-lifter can't just go in the gym and lift 50lb straight away.  They have to start with 10lb, 15lb, 20lb and so on until their muscles are trained.  Well the spynctus is a muscle too - it must be trained.  

  I think this is something that requires serious discussin with your Master or you are going to get anally hurt and then he won't be going up there for some time darling.

   

  Good luck anyway subpet

  xx

• Ownedgalbabs said on Jul 02, 2008....

  submissivepet101:
  
  Hi,
  
  I agree with pc.  The very notion of not taking proper care to protect your welfare and overall health, does indeed alarm me.  And though I am not trying to sound judgmental, the whole idea of him being furious because your body couldn't accept him after being treated with such disregard, worries me to.
  
  Dominants know that control is vital in their relationships....not solely control of their submissive/slave but that theyneed to be control of themselves, always and no exception.  There are a lot who hide in the lifestyle, who call themselves Doms, Masters, etc.  Who in reality are misogynists in search of their prey.  Please do be careful. 
  
  Perhaps it is time you had a serious talk with him and divulged your overall feelings of the experience.  Troubling still are your feelings of inadequacy in the aftermath.  And keep in mind that D/s is a two way street.  This notion that you must please him completely?  That he won't believe that you love him until you are able to...sorry but my mind is screaming red flag, as I am beginning to wonder if you are at risk for at the very least, emotional abuse.
  
  Please talk to your Master and do determine where his mind is at....
  
  Concerned,
  babs
  

• anonymous said on Jul 02, 2008....

  I agree with the previous 2 commentors.  No one is trying to paint your Master in a bad light, but I am seeing red flags, too.  And they're pretty prevalent in your writing.  Safe.  Sane.  Consensual.  You should not be in danger of injury and you should not be leaving scenes with feelings of inadequacy.  I really hope things work out for you.
   
   

• onlymimi said on Jul 02, 2008....

  Adding my voice to those that are concerned for your well-being, subpet.  i don't have anything to add other than what's been said.  A Master who doesn't take his responsibility to care for his sub seriously is no Master at all, in my opinion.

• DaddysLittleSlut said on Jul 02, 2008....

  Same here Pet. I'm really getting worried about you.
  I've read all sorts of scenes, training, disappointments, and expectations here on Soulcast but everyone of them has the common elements of mutual satisfaction, care, and affection - except yours.  You have illustrated this guy to be a bully and certainly not a loving dominant - there's a huge difference and it could mean your life. It certainly involves your physical and mental health.
  Being submissive is not the same as being a victim.
  your best interest at heart,
  dls

• RollingC said on Jul 02, 2008....

  A healthy concern for your partner is part of a satisfactory fulfilling sex life.  As DLS said...being submissive is different from being a victim.
  Take care of yourself,
  Rc

• kittykat{A} said on Jul 03, 2008....

  hi subpet; really sorry for posting my concern here again along with all the others, it seems to be all we do with your posts, but its only because we are all worried for you and that you may well be being physically and emotionally abused.
   
  i've been there, and i ended up getting very badly broken by a man i adored and believed loved me also, broken bones, broken mind, broken heart. There is no room for abuse of any kind in any relationship, vanilla or D/s but being submissive sometimes leads people to believe they have to take it from their Dom/mes....not true. A true Dominant is never ever a bully and should never make you feel weak or insecure.
   
  i really hope you manage to talk to your Master about your worries and fears and that he accepts it the way that he should. Know that we are all here though if you need to vent some more and please don't stop posting because of the comments here, they come from people with true concern for you.
   
  Hugs
   
  kk
  x 

• RollingC said on Jul 03, 2008....

  I'm new to the names vanilla and such...what does vanilla mean ? I take it D/s is dominant/submissive of which I've played a part before and most men have I'm sure.
  Rc

• RollingC said on Jul 03, 2008....

  The only other comment I have is where can I find someone with your desires?
  :^)
  Rc

• everythingyouthink said on Jul 03, 2008....

  Yes, you must allow yourself time to relax for anal, and master should know this.  There is not one, but two sphincters that need to be relaxed properly for penetration, and most of the control you have is only of the outer one.  If you rush this, let me tell you (from personal experience) what can happen.  An Anal fissure.  Basically, it's a tear in the lining of your rectum.  I cannot begin to communicate how painful it was (or long it took to heal).  Please be careful.

• sweet_rose said on Jul 03, 2008....

  Ohh boy pet101....
   
  You are being abused honey. You are being taken advantage of, He is taking your need to submit and forcing things that will put your health in danger.
   
  Anal in my opinion is 20% stretch and 80% mental. It is a normal reaction for our ass to pucker when something is going the opisite way it should. I have a hard time doing anal as well. My Dominant eases His way in there and always retreats if I say it hurts. Then it is my choice to continue or not. Most often when the control is given back to me, He can slide right in. It is a mind fuck in a way, but one that needs to be handled carefully. Or it will rip you a new ass hole... litterly.
   
  Why in the world would anyone be angry with you for not being able to do it?
   
  Would you be angry with a child for not tying there shoe if they were trying really hard?? Or pet101, would you show them how to do it until they were confiedent to do it on there own?
   
  rose

• kittykat{A} said on Jul 04, 2008....

  RollingC - vanilla is the name for those that are not actively part of the D/s, BDSM Lifestyle, it just means 'the normal', lol but normal is not part of my vocab. If you send me a PM i can give you some links of some good sites and forums for you to check it out further. One of which is mine ;-)

  kk

• Mucho said on Jul 05, 2008....

  The whole Master/Slave thing does nothing for me.

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