this was a dream i had before i woke up about 10 minutes ago.

i was at some house with my ex boyfriend, trying to keep him at bay, sort of. he was just irking me, his presence. i got up to get a drink of water, and realized there were massive amounts of salt in the water.

next im at a house that is presumably my parents' house. a friend of my mother's, that i'd never met before, but looked an awful lot like a softer kathleen turner, was there. there were several dogs, some i recognize now, some i dont, and several children. most i don't know and didn't know. we're sitting in a livingroom, talking. i turn and see this thing. everyone is like ohhh, a cat. how pretty. i'm like, are you sure that's a cat? it looks an awful lot like a baboon or monkey or something. the cat-monkey looked at me in a not-so-nice way.

i decided all of the kids and dogs should go outside while we adults dealt with this cat-monkey thing. one of the kids refused to go outside. i was trying to gently push him out the door. all of a sudden my uncle showed up (one i haven't spoken to in a very long time) and was helping me pull the kid out the door. the kid ended up breaking the door off the hinges. my uncle was bitching at him about it as i walked back inside. the cat-monkey, which by the way, was white, with a black face, feet and tail, and white hair that grew forward - circling its face, was gone, i think.

i mention to everyone in the room that i'll need to leave somewhat early because there are massive amounts of salt in my water at my house, so i need to call my landlord to deal with it. somehow or another, we end up going for a drive. myself and the kathleen turner look alike are in a backseat, my 2 sisters are in the seat in front of us, my dad driving, my mom in the front passenger seat. we drive down this area i recognized. then turned off onto this road that i knew i'd seen before, but never driven down. there were scattered houses here and there, kind of run-down and junky, but not too bad. the roads were getting narrower. we stopped to admire this tree. i wish i could draw. i'd draw the tree. it was like a fig tree, but with no center base, and someone had grown it up over like a trellace. like you'd normally do with grapes. we stopped there for a few moments and as we were driving away, i saw the home owners standing at their door, but knew that they knew we were just admiring their tree. and they didn't mind that.

we drive a bit more, and out of my window, i see two men. sort of. i'm not sure how to describe it. oh, first, i had stretched my feet out at some point, and realized that i was touchign the kathleen-like person, and felt very rude about it,so i tried moving them without it being obvious. anyway, these two men. all i saw were their heads. there were these black'ish in color pieces of plywood on the ground, and then men had cut holes in them and were poking their heads through. the men were pale and trying to give us evil-like looks. i remember thinking they were a little crazy for doing that, but it seemed like a waste of time.

we keep driving and it starts raining. it's raining hard. we have to turn around. there are no houses in sight anymore. we turn around. the waters are rushing around us in all directions, but not at very dangerous levels. i tell my dad to back up, because there is a clearing, we can cut through. then water starts pouring down the path i'd just seen. my dad drives forward, up onto a hill or dune type thing that the rushing waters had created. apparently we were going to sit there for a while. my mom got out of the vehicle and went to sit next to a tree with a white blanket wrapped around her. she was soaked. my older sister got out and started trekking down what used to be a clear road, but now there were grown trees and waters flowing around.

somehow, i had a cheeseburger. i was eating it. i remember thinking i should save it. i wrapped it back up, put it in the bag and turned to look out the back window. the waters were getting worse.

then i woke up in a panic not knowing what time it was, thinking i might be late for work. but it's 4:30 am. four more hours to go.

i know as a general rule, other peoples dreams are boring to other people. i don't think mine is any different. i've had years worth of nightmares, sleepwalking, bizarre dreams, great dreams, dreams that made no sense, etc. lots of them involved water. i don't know if i believe there is anything behind dreams. the salt part of this dream may have come from real life. i don't feel like explaining that right now.

i wonder if there is, and if there is - should there be, any comfort knowing you fucked something up way worse than someone else. not something that hurt someone else, just your own life. and not self pity, either.