Raymond Daniels is an undefeated champion in Chuck Norris's World Combat League, which is a karate league. He has become a superstar karate fighter. He was recruited by an MMA organization called Strikeforce.

Last night he made his MMA debut against a fair MMA fighter named Jeremiah Metcalf (8-4 with no wins against top opponents). How would a karate superstar do against an MMA mediocrity? If the game is MMA, doesn't that even the odds? Who is your pick to win? Is it more important that Daniels is an undefeated superstar at karate or that Metcalf is a genuine MMA fighter who knows about body positioning?

What would your strategy be if you were Daniels? If you were Metcalf? Whose strategy would prevail?

If I was coaching Daniels, I'd drill him for dozens of hours on the sprawl. I think that is the most important thing for him to learn. The sprawl keeps you from getting taken down. You sprawl your legs backwards, leaning your upper body forwards, and keep him from getting a single leg or double leg wrestling takedown. I wouldn't waste five minutes practicing kicks and punches. He has that already. No punching bag, no karate sparring, just sprawl sprawl sprawl. I'd tell him that if he doesn't learn it very well he is going to get his ass kicked in a one-sided massacre.

Once I was satisfied that his sprawl was up there with Chuck Liddell's, I'd have him watch some Chuck Liddell videos and see how he gets back up after being taken down. My goal would be to turn Raymond Daniels into Chuck Liddell. I think that would be his only hope of not getting killed in MMA. Fuck his stupid kicks. He's not Cung Le, who flicks out fancy and powerful kicks rapid fire like they are jabs in boxing.

If I was Jeremiah Metcalf's coach I'd work him on takedowns, that's all. Any idiot can ground and pound. You see a head under you, you fucking hit it. A retard on heroin could figure it out. I'd tell Metcalf that his only chance to win is with body positioning, and if he fails at that he is going to be knocked out.

Last night's fight between karate superstar Raymond Real Deal Daniels and Jeremiah No-big-deal Metcalf went something like this.

The first thing Metcalf did was give Daniels a big hug, leaving out the kiss. In other words, he got kissing close, negating all of Daniels's karate. Then Metcalf tripped Daniels. Don't belittle a simple trip. A lot of judo originator Jigoro Kano's fancy takedowns are basically just trips, one way or another. A good trip can knock a guy unconscious, and I taught my mother one, and she knocked a guy unconscious with it, because when your head hits concrete, you go to sleep.

Daniels, now on his back, (the fucking idiot didn't practice his sprawl) tried to catch an experienced MMA fighter in a guillotine choke. Pretty funny. Metcalf laughed it off. Note, when I was hypothetically advising Daniels on what to practice, I did not include learning the guillotine choke. I said to sprawl, not to choke. What the hell is he going to do with a guillotine choke?

For the rest of the first round, Jeremiah Metcalf pounded Daniels at will. Daniels was on his back. He was like a roach on its back, helpless. Luckily for him, they shortened the rounds to only 3 minutes, so he had to take only 3 minutes of abuse before the bell ended the round.

Opening the second round, Metcalf punched Daniels in the face and then easily took him down. It was pathetic. Superstar Crip Raymond Real Deal Daniels was a pathetic mess. Metcalf beat that poor gangsta's ass. Eventually Metcalf got on Daniels's back and started in with the rear naked choke. Daniels didn't even try to grab Metcalf's wrists and defend against the choke. He didn't turn his head. He didn't do anything. He just rested there on his hands and knees getting choked, waited a few seconds, then tapped out.

This guy is in a time warp. It's like Royce Gracie never happened. Royce Gracie would tap the guy out in under one minute. I think Royce Gracie would tap the guy out before the opening bell. What is Real Deal thinking? Maybe he should try bicycle racing now, or swimming or chess? Learn the game before you play the game at a professional level.