Yesterday I started the birth control pills. I have my alarm set to go off and remind me when to take my meds. Right now I am just popping alot of pills.
I am horribly emotional. I have been off of caffeine for awhile now but, I still crave a soda or coffee. I have been off of nicotine gum for a week or so. That has been really rough and I think it is contributing to my emotional state. Plus, I am eating all organic so my diet has changed again. The things that I was use to having weren't really organic. The good news is physically I feel good. I am tired but I always feel tired this time of the month.
The X is suppose to come up and get the boys. I tried to get all the kids to go but the girls want to stay here to be with their friends. I have always told them that I wouldn't force them to go. Their relationship with their father hasn't been perfect. They love him very much but given a choice they will choose their friends. This is also the age, 15 and 17, family is just less important.
As much as I want the break, I hate the fact the boys are leaving. I really don't like being seperated from them. I would send the girls in a heartbeat but, I still enjoy being around the boys. They don't yell and scream at their mother. They are also the most supportive right now.
So, I sent the X money to come up here. Cause gas is crazy expensive! The boys have packed up their clothes and are eager to see him. I love that. I love that they get so excited to see him. That family is still number one to them. I know they haven't really hit the age yet when friends take priority. I still have hope that day will never come.
Anyways, I am going to go cry again for no reason. Everything is fine really. I really don't get it. I am just a basketcase.
Seriously, I cried because my dogs were cuddled up all cute together. This whole thing isn't starting off well. I am going to be a blubbering idiot by the end of July!
